Business trip

Yesterday morning I flew out to San Francisco, and later today I’m driving down with friends to San Jose to the BlogHer conference. I would be more excited if I weren’t completely consumed by the throbbing pain in my arm two inches above the cancer wound where Tuesday morning I received a tetanus shot. My doctor ordered that I get one since she had just cut open my arm and mentioned that the clinic was conducting a research study on tetanus and a whooping cough vaccine. Jon and I signed up because it’s not every day that we have the opportunity to be injected with free deadly diseases.

The nurse who took all our information had us sign a ten-inch stack of consent forms, and then asked us a neverending list of questions about our medical history. After both of us listed off our current medications, we sat in uncomfortable silence as she continued to fill out paperwork.

“You forgot to mention your prescription for Viagra,” I said loudly to Jon.

The nurse bore down on her pen so violently it almost broke in half.

Without even blinking an eye Jon turned to her and said, “My wife knows that if that were true SHE WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO WALK.”

I won’t be around much for the next few days because I will be off synchronizing my menstrual cycle with 700 other women. You know you wish you could watch.