If I had a cell phone, I would make this my ringtone

Three nights ago someone called Jon’s cell phone at 2:21 AM and left a strange message that was just too precious to delete. So we encoded it into an MP3, and now I’m posting it here. For the future generations of Earth.

This message needs no explanation, although I should point out that it represents the exact opposite experience that I had in college. And that when I heard it for the first time I felt extremely bitter about that fact. And that I’m pretty sure that when this person left this message he had someone else’s underwear on his head.

And that if he had instead called the house at that hour I would have jumped into the car while still wearing my green floral polyester pajamas, driven to his house, and beaten him over the ears with a rolling pin.

Click here to listen to the message from Jon’s mysterious gay lover.