the smell of my desperation has become a stench

And he sits next to a kid named Prenter

“She’s got a crush on a guy in her class. Get this, his name is Brackin.”



“What do you mean, Brackin?”

“I mean Brackin as in bric-a-brackin.”

“That is not his name.”

“It is! And you know what’s even better? HE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE IN THEIR CLASS WHO HAS THAT NAME.”

“It’s like the conjugation of a verb gone terribly wrong.”

“Something like, ‘I have done brackin the suspension on my pick-up so that when I tie a rope to the bumper and try to pull my goat out of the mud, it don’t git all messed up.”

“Exactly. You brack, you bracked, you have bracked, duh.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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