An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Exclamation Point, Special Organic Free Range Chicken Broth Edition

Oh dear.

Late last week I was going through my special hatemail folder — it’s called “Hate is all you need” and every time I open it four butterflies explode out of my computer and kiss me on my nose — and realized that I had enough really good ones to put out a fall collection. (You can see the Spring Edition here and the Summer Edition here) There’s a particular gem I got sent a couple weeks ago from someone who lives in Salt Lake City, and after ranting about how my website sucks because it doesn’t give him a boner, he goes on to tell me where he lives, what his car looks like, where it is parked, and then dares me to show up and throw a rock at his windshield. For a brief moment I considered heading out to find his car, only instead of smashing his windows I’d put a little note underneath the windshield wiper with the name of a good therapist and 10 dollars to help with the co-pay. And then sign it, “Hugs and kisses!”

But Friday night I wrote a little something about organic free range chicken broth mistakenly thinking that I was being ridiculous enough about it that people would know I was joking. That I don’t hate chickens. That, in fact, I firmly believe chickens should live as unencumbered as possible, that their lives should be filled with happiness and joy and leisure. And many, many hand jobs.

And, oh, the hatemail that followed. Turns out hatemail about chickens is a lot more colorful than hatemail from Mormons. The Mormons obviously need to try harder.

The idea of organic free range chickens isn’t necessarily funny, but when you put that label on a box of chicken broth, there is an incongruity there that is a little absurd. As if the broth water itself was out grazing feed next to the barn. And then there is the whole idea (an idea I agree with, mostly) that chickens should be allowed to live more fulfilling lives, lives where they are allowed to roam free and sleep in better cages, at least right up until we cut off their heads and eat their juicy thighs with a little bit of lemon pepper marinade. It’s like, here chicken, be happy! Relax! WE NEED YOU TO TASTE BETTER.

I didn’t mention that Jon and I often buy organic food, and agree that it is usually (although, not always) healthier for you, because the whole point of that post was to poke fun at my mother who was horrified when she realized that she agreed with a very liberal approach to farming. It just doesn’t match up with how her world is set up, one where you’re not supposed to care about the chickens, don’t you know that the chickens were put here by God so that we could eat them? Also? Those chickens totally had it coming because I have prayed about it and the Lord told me they are rotten, dirty whores.

According to the email I got in response to that post, I guess you’re not supposed to joke about chicken broth. Ever. This website is now on the Official Shit List of the Organic Free Range Chicken Broth People. And my, are they a testy bunch.

Let’s start with this one from Jason who I’m guessing would not laugh if I came up behind him and stuck a fork in his butt:

Well, I’ve never been a huge blogger, I read them once in a while, but I was forwarded your blog today by a friend. Things must be really slow in Utah around Thanksgiving, or maybe its the cold.

I’m unsure how Free Range Chicken Broth is funny, or for that matter how it would be funnier than Free Range Chicken?

Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

First I find it funny that you have no clue how to make Chicken broth. Then after admitting to this ignorance, go on to comment about how, in your infinite wisdom, you can’t understand how the qualities of a chicken would be transferred to the broth made from that chicken.

It’s like saying I don’t understand how Vitamin C makes it from an orange into orange juice. Boggles the mind.

Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Hmm… that ringing in my ears is the sound of… delicious free range condescension.

Here’s one from from Megan:

Just wanted to let you know that due to your ignorant and uneducated post about free-range chicken I will no longer waste my time reading your blog. In the past I have always enjoyed your wit and regularly stop in to catch up on your life, however your latest post has honestly left me annoyed. Do you even know what free-range means? I am so not a hater normally, but you sound like a moron in your post. Please do yourself (and your family) a favour and research Organic Agriculture and Sustainability. Failing that, consider what it would be like for Chuck to live out his days in a cage, sitting in his own feces and urine, never getting a change to move his body. Does this sould fair to you? And if that doesn’t get your attention, perhaps you might want to consider all the antibiotics and hormones an animal is given when kept in subpar living conditions on a factory farm. Mmmm yummy. Honestly there are many more reasons why one might consider organic free-range products but I’ve already spent enough time writing this post. As a last note, not everyone who believes in saving our environment is a hippy. I in fact am wearing makeup right now!

Chuck isn’t supposed to be living his days out in a cage eating his own feces? Is that what you’re telling me? A LOT OF GOOD THAT DOES ME NOW, MEGS.

This next one is from a reader named Rich:

Free range chicken broth may seem hippie to you, but there are many reasons you should consider buying it over regular broth. Organic food as well as food raised free range [blah blah blah, several long, complicated sentences here about the history of the meat industry, blah blah] and while [blah blah, more long sentences, blah] it can only [blah blah] but [blah]…


Therefore, organic is better for you, and if [BLLLLLAAAAAAAAAHHHHH] …

I wish you would educate yourself and your readers about this very important issue. Use your power for good.

Thank you, Rich, for that very useful, very lengthy primer on agriculture. Although you might want to take a different approach in the future when you’re trying to convince someone that you are right and they are wrong. First, you should make sure that the person disagrees with you. That usually helps.

Then try to be a little less civilized. Call them names. Spit. Misspell a few words. Go wild and add a punctuation mark where none is called for. USE A SENTENCE FRAGMENT (!!) Because something tells me you haven’t ever done any of these things, and that your inner six year old yearns to be set free.

Here’s one from Ted:

You don’t have any idea what your talking about, and you shouldn’t pass judgement on things in which you are ignorant. It makes you look like an idiot. I am not going to take the low road and hurl some ridiculous insult at you, because I think you would get some twisted sense of joy out of it. Rather, I will simply say, I hope this e-mail ruins your day, and that you would take a long hard look at the words you write. There are many people who believe in the power of organic foods, and most of the ones I know are just as sensitive to marketing hype as you. I happen to know the guy that started this particular chicken broth company, and I can assure you his office doesn’t have a 14th floor.

Next time you decide to laugh about something that really isn’t funny, why don’t you at least do your homework and educate yourself so you don’t sound like a moron.

Normally I think you are funny…but in this case I think you are the one that should think about your conscience before you go to bed tonight. The truly ironic thing is that you are writing about being a better democrat when in actuality, you sound like some some stupid republican who is talking about how we are in Iraq to protect democracy. Good luck with that.

People who believe in the power of organic food? You mean like people who believe in the power of the Holy Spirit? Because if that’s what you mean, I’m sorry, I would never intentionally poke fun at a religion on this website. Maybe.

Speaking of religion, here’s one from Donaleen:

Do you know how non free range chickens are raised? They are kept in cages so small they can’t move around. They are covered in chicken shit because the cages are stacked. And they are often rather bald because of the conditions. The ones that lay eggs are definitely bald. The chickens are given poor food and lots of antibiotics. They are nutritionally bad. And they taste bad.

It DOES matter how your food is produced. The chicken tastes different. The eggs taste different. And I make my own chicken broth from free range chickens. It is fucking amazing. It can heal the sick and raise the dead.

I don’t know about you, but now that I know that the eggs I eat for breakfast every morning might possibly be laid by a bald chicken, a rather bald chicken, waking up is going to be a hundred percent more awesome.

This one is from Lynn:

There is actually a significant nutritional difference in free range fed animals vs. confined, grain-fed and feedlot-fattened animals. In particular the omega 3 content and omega 3 to omega 6 ratio of animals raised close to their natural roots is much better. I don’t eat chicken at all, but if I did I would only eat free range fed chicken.

I included this one not because it was particularly mean, but because I wanted to juxtapose it with a link to this research study that several readers forwarded to me, and it says this:

But organic poultry is actually less nutritious, contains more fat and tastes worse than its mass-produced equivalent, research has shown.

Tests on supermarket chicken breasts showed that organic versions contained lower levels of health-boosting omega 3 fatty acids than other varieties, including non-organic free-range poultry.

As usual, the best part about that link is the comments section where someone says something like, “The welfare of the chickens is paramount. High time we considered the chickens before always putting our interests first.” To someone who already thinks organic free range chickens are a good thing, that sounds totally normal. But, to someone who doesn’t, that sounds like this: THINK OF THE CHICKENS! WE MUST SAVE THE CHICKENS! THE CHIIIIIIIICCCCKKKKKEEENNNNSSSSSSS!

Here’s the only one that included multiple exclamation points, and it did not disappoint. From Julie:

You have finally crossed the line with this one. Why is free range chicken broth so funny? It isn’t!!! Have you seen the pictures of chickens are are raised on those mass farms? They are so sad and helpless and did not ask to live that way. How would YOU like to watch your dog live that way? YOU would never let him live that way, so why is it OK for CHICKENS to live that way? ITS NOT!!! People like you shouldn’t be allowed to own animals. I feel sorry for your dog!!!!

I do too, because when we finally get tired of taking him on walks and decide to eat him, we won’t be boiling him in organic free range chicken broth, that’s for sure.

  • MissMeaMea

    I spent two weeks on my great-uncle’s chicken farm when I was in high school. I had to help harvest eggs. He raised eggs for Perdue; he had one long, large chicken coop. Inside the chickens were free to roam, but they didn’t go outside. Not great, I know, but neither did they live in their own shit in tiny cages. Every one of those feathered fuckers that I had to shoo out of a chicken “condo” to gather an egg was bright eyed, bushy tailed, and pissed at me. He also raised goats, who were pastured, and except for the eventual slaughter, were treated with kindness.

    I’m just saying that just because it’s not labeled organic and free range doesn’t automatically mean it was living in Factory Farm Hell. There are still farmers who have self-respect and morals.

    We’re all impressed when some self-important jackass spouts off dramatic stories that he or she has read in The Omnivore’s Dilemma or whatever the current hot book is…I mean, wow, you can memorize, GOOD for YOU…

    Not that I’m against organic and free range. I’ve got the creds, I belong and work at the local natural foods co-op. I just like to have a side order of perspective with my dogma.

  • Haha, I love how so many of them mention Chuck.
    I mean, the analogy completely works, since I KNOW you’re not going to cage HIM up before you eat him.

    I think free-range broth is hilarious, as well. Why don’t the hippies advocate sending the chickens on an all-expense-paid luxury cruise? WE NEED THEM COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY BEFORE WE DIP THEM IN SWEET ‘N’ SOUR.

  • Are these hate mailer people really serious??

    I appreciate your need to explain your previous post, but you REALLY didn’t have to.

    We got it and we thought it was funny and the best part was that your mother was arguing the “other” side and I wish I could have seen the expression on her face when she realized that and I took note of that fact so when I want someone to see the “other” side I’m going to go all devils-advocate on them.

    I’m seriously re-considering this I-wanna-be-dooce-when-i-grow-up thing because I don’t think I could spend all day deleting stupid emails………..and I might lose faith in humankind all together.

  • lilysgift

    People should be worrying about the real issues here. I mean really, what with Heather’s mistreatment of poor Chuck (ie: throwing him out on a cold winter’s night) Leta’s terrible nutritional health due to Heather witholding food from the little sweetie, (geez, not even a saltine cracker with peanut butter?)God only knows what she does to Jon behind closed doors. Sure, she says she and Jon are going to go down to the basement to “work”, but do we really know what goes on down there? One can only imagine the stacked cages of terrified chickens, part of a science experiment gone horribly wrong…:0)

  • anneelizmary

    Yowsa. That’s some steamy hot shit being dropped in the free range pasture. You’d think eating organic would mellow folks out. Apparently not.

    Peace in this Advent Season to all who read this.

  • toftie

    I like to think that your site is witty enough that the only people who really appreciate it and visit are from an intelligent sector of our population. So let’s think of this little chicken broth incident as a way to weed out the imposters.

    Much like ZeFrank when he tried to scare away the new viewers. I love it.

  • nic

    OMG. Thanks for the belly laugh, I seriously needed it.

  • Petuniabishco

    Man, oh man. I do feel sorry for the chickens, honestly. But aren’t there bigger issues to be dealt with??

    And someone mentioned the dolphins that get stuck in tuna nets. I love what I heard from a comedian about this…”what about the tuna?”

  • Sarah

    I am so not a hater normally, but you sound like a moron in your post.

    Definitely thought that said “… but you sound like a MORMON in your post.”

    Total oh-no-she-didn’t moment.

  • paula

    They probably use free range organic chicken broth in France, which is enough of a reason for me not to use it.

    Al Gore probably loves the stuff.

  • I think that somewhere in the bible, it says that you are NOT suppose to make fun of free range chickens…or the chicken pee that makes up chicken broth. From what I understand, Jesus HATED chicken pee, but never made fun of it…he also hated chickens, that’s why he created cages. He also liked it when they rolled around in their own feces, that’s why he created feces.

    So, you know what I think about all this? I think that Jesus caused all of this trouble…it’s all his fault.

  • Sebsmum

    I guess everyone has a right to their opinion, so why are these people so rude to you when (a) you’re only stating yours, and (b) they don’t even know you personally. I just want to make one thing clear — I doubt all organic-free-range-chicken-eaters are illiterate, it’s just a few that give the rest a bad name. I like organic free range chicken broth too. Not because I feel sorry for the chickens, but because sustainable farming practices save the earth, and in turn save us. Besides, who WANTS a steady diet of antibiotics and growth hormones? Anyway, I too think “organic free range chicken broth” is funny. And sad. It’s the sign of the times, just like bottled water and that Orwellian “homeland security” business. Oh, and one more thing: Heather, I love your blog.

  • Dude. I almost died laughing after reading this, “And I make my own chicken broth from free range chickens. It is fucking amazing. It can heal the sick and raise the dead.”

    These people CANNOT be serious!!! (CAPS and exclamation points for your added pleasure).

  • Whew. OK, here goes.

    I lurk a lot. I always get a chubby reading your posts. You are super-de-duper (is Barney still around?)

    Now, the problem is that after setting up a typekey account, and seeing that there are 435 comments already, I’ve gone completely soft, but still wanted to comment. Please assure Jon (and Chuck) that I speak only figuratively.

    I shall now go cover myself with organic chicken broth.

  • tish

    I don’t really get where these people get off criticizing you for your mockery of your mother(say that five times fast). Besides, if those numbskulls had really done their research they would know that free range is still not a lot better than cage raised chickens. Their life still sucks and they are still pretty lucky if they ever see the light of day.
    So Peeashaw to them I say(or write), pschaw.

  • Peter

    Obviously poultry should be incorporated into the second line of clothing. Or eating…dogs…

  • joe

    The masses have spoken. I hope you’re proud of yourself. Shit-disturber

  • You know, I had chickens growing up and they were most definitely free range. They still ate their own poop.

  • dykewife

    oh, and bekah’s wrong, chickens aren’t the stupidest, turkeys are. my husband’s uncle (a farmer) lost nearly an entire flock of turkeys because, during a blizzard, they all stood outside facing into the wind with their mouths gawping open. the they all froze. now that’s dumb.

  • misskay

    heather, love the blog! and even this vegetarian appreciated your humour about the chickens.

    just a quick correction to another comment.
    katy66 said “I was surprised there was not a brigade… people ready to peg [your house] with organic, caffiene free, Green Tea tea-bags.”

    katy66- green tea is FULL of caffiene. in fact, the only non-caffiented tea isn’t really tea at all; it is just “herbs.”

  • MarkDM

    >> Do you know how non free range chickens are raised?

    Let’s just call them what they really are without all the negatives, shall we? We’re talking about expensive-range chickens, and who’d want to eat those?

    >> And they are often rather bald because of the conditions. The ones that lay eggs are definitely bald.

    Thank God for that. I don’t *want* hair on my eggs! (!!)

    >> Why is free range chicken broth so funny?

    Man, some people are just dense. It’s runny because it’s *broth*, for Pete’s sake. Gawd, learn to read, wouldja?

    In conclusion, Heather, I’m just glad your chicken broth is home safe. Again. And I hope you’ve learned a lesson from this and that you’ll keep it on a leash the next time you take it outside so it can go pee-pee.

  • What has the world come to when people wig out about chickens!?! What about the pigs, sheep, and other livestock? Are their Graze-Free Steaks or Lamb-chops?

    Do these people think that they live in prestine environments? No! They lay in their own SHIT!

    Do they realize that their HAM sandwich basically lived in mud and shit for the majority of its short and tasty life? They aren’t fed rice and beans to plump them up, no, they’re getting what’s left on our plates!! They even eat PORK!!

    Shut up and go hug a tree!

  • Scarecrow

    This has been very entertaining and enlightning. However, after reading all these comments, I can’t stop asking myself ‘What would Foghorn Leghorn do’?

  • Charlie

    It seems your skin had to thicken
    Because your readers, both hippie and wiccan,
    Respond to your humor
    Like some basal cell tumor
    Being pecked at by an organic free-range chicken.

  • crystal

    Bald chickens? Awww, to hell with THAT. I’ll be buying all my chicken at KFC from now on. You know the Colonel, in his infinite and pompadoured wisdom, supplied those chickens with Rogaine.


  • c-ray

    I did a little research on the two chicken lifestyle options being discussed. All I can say is yuck, ew and sick. Both look equally disgusting and inhumane.

    Yes, I eat meat but I try to always buy it from local farmers so I can see that the poor things are healthy and happy (and definitely not bald) before being butchered. I guess it just makes me feel a little better knowing they were able to live at least part of their lives happily. Honestly, I personally do notice a flavor difference and typically I make my own broth so the difference carries through to that too.

    Now, as for the original topic that started all of this (organic free-range chicken broth and your mom’s tree huggin’ hidden hippie side that has been hiding in a dark corner of her mind) … isn’t it funny how parents sometimes do that. It is good to hear that your liberal views might be ever so slightly rubbing off on her.

    I love your post and appreciate the beautiful graphic design savvy qualities it has.

  • dykewife – Ha! I totally stand corrected. I’ve just (luckily) never had experience with turkeys before. Ducks are pretty stupid, too, but not as stupid as chickens, and apparently, WAY smarter than turkeys.

  • I would just like to say I have been reading your site for a while and throughly enjoy it. I can never really see where these people are coming from when they send you the hate mail, it is obvious to everyone I know that the site is full of satire. I do think that you got waylaid by a PETA/Vegan mailing list though. Also a hippie in a makeup mask is still a hippie, do not let them fool you.

  • Ames

    I enjoy dooce with my coffee every morning.
    Don’t listen to the haters, they are just jealous that you are getting more attention than them.

    Ah…hot organic free range chicken soup….yummers!

  • causaleffect

    As much as I would like to read all 486 comments, my boss would drown me in free range chicken broth. But I am sure this comment will get buried in tuna waste anyway.
    Damn, I’m hungry now and I will head over to the local dead cow cooking factory and feast.

  • TexChic

    I prefer to use the generic, poopy, bald caged bird broth, meat, and eggs, myself, and save the extra money for more important things like side dishes, fruits, and veggies. I just don’t care about the welfare of the poor chickens, and I think those that do probably have more money that they have sense. Think about it. Why should you have to pay MORE for organic? Don’t all those feed additives and hormones cost money? You would think organic, free-range chicken would be cheaper since the growers don’t have to invest in all those cages and watering systems! But then how could they convince the public that it’s better for them? Why, by charging more, of course. We Americans all know that if it costs more it must be better, right? I think the whole organic, free-range concept is hilarious, not just the chicken broth! Come and get it, suckers!

  • LingLing

    Guess what suckers. It’s not whether one’s a Democrat or a Republican, but whether or not one can *afford* to pay for organic & free range. According to some people’s (il)logic Bush should be a hippie. Consider this: Bush and his have-more Republican buddies along with most of his Democrat golf cronies get served organic fare on a regular basis. Oh let those little people eat factory chickens.
    Maybe factory chickens are Republicans? This is all chicken sh*#!

  • Lesann620

    Leslie’s List O Worries

    1. CeRtIFiEd OrGaNic FrEE-RAngE ChiCKen BrOTh!!!
    2. The many exams and projects I have to pass this week in order to get enough credits to graduate from college on time- because if I fail GEO I’m fucked.
    3. Paying my bills when I don’t get another chunk of student loans until Jan. 9.
    4. Getting my assignements in on time for the newspaper I work for so that my boss doesn’t shove her foot up my ass.
    5. This one is a confusing doozy- My mother’s best friend’s daughter’s failing health due to cancer.
    6. CeRtIFiEd OrGaNic FrEE-RAngE ChiCKen BrOTh!!!

    Heather you rock. Chickens are for eating. These people are silly.

  • defaultlisa

    I’m still confused. If it’s free-range, organic chicken broth, why is it packaged in a tiny, cramped box? Wouldn’t it be tastier as a long, flowing river or maybe an ocean?

    (Vegetarian with a sense of humor who has been reading for a year or more and never fails to love your blog)

  • thleen

    So next year it’s going to be Free Range Chuck calendars, right? It’s the right thing to do.
    And why do these “haters” always refer to caging Chuck? That is just twisted.
    Keep on bloggin’, Heather.

  • Hahah. What I think is hilarious is that the people who are screaming “THINK OF THE CHIIIIICCCKKKKENS!!!”?
    They’re still fucking EATING them. :-p

    You rule, darling. I raise my cup of organic free range chicken broth in a toast.
    Um, eew.

    (there WAS organic free range chicken broth in my fridge at the time of this post! I used it to make turkey noodle soup. The turkey was SO TOTALLY not free-range. Thhbbbt)

  • Ktkat

    Oh, I do SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO love you Heather. I was a vegetarian for 12 years (and I used to espouse the virtues like a God-fearing born-again Chris-ti-ian), but even I found your original post funny. I guess I’ve just got a sense of humor. Oh, and the ability to NOT TAKE THINGS SO FUCKING SERIOUSLY!

    Having said that, I will be mailing all my bald chicken eggs to you so that you can live long and prosper.

    YOU ROCK my dear. Keep it up and don’t let the turkeys get ya down!

  • Lizzie_B

    I’m just wondering if you watched last night’s episode of CSI. They had a chicken processing plant on there and were talking about the cruelty to the chickens. All I could think of was your free range chicken lovers out there and wondering if they were sending CBS hate mail too. It was hilarious.

  • Mine

    It always amazes me what peoples limits are. For all the opinions you share with us Heather from depression to clogs to Mormons…the list goes on and on

    But see now you’ve gone too far, you’ve dared to discuss broth and chicken broth at that and ORGANIC CHICKEN BROTH – the line has been crossed.

    Its hysterical – I love it.

    Animal rights and all that but surely the cruelest thing people do to chickens is eat the damn things, but so long as they can say they let them run around in a lovely pasture, what? so they’d know what they’d be missing as they were led off to the slaughter house.

    Yeah, Cheers, Thanks a lot.

    Good share Heather.

    P.S I’m not wearing any make up right now and I don’t plan to for the rest of the day – EVEN IF I LEAVE THE HOUSE.

  • LindaF

    As a vegetarian and an advocate of using free-range products, I still found your post *very funny*. I just wanted to defend us normal vegetarians, and point out that we can still have a sense of humor about non-vegetarian topics. 🙂

  • mandee

    “I don’t know about you, but now that I know that the eggs I eat for breakfast every morning might possibly be laid by a bald chicken, a rather bald chicken, waking up is going to be a hundred percent more awesome.”

    best part of the whole post.

  • Freerangebob

    Why is it that only we freerangers remember the significance of December 7th? Here’s a hint, 1941. Yes it was the day the free range chickens of Hawaii were attacked by the Japanese fast food industry. Free range chickens were first brought to the islands by Capt. Cook is 1778 and hunted later for sport and food by the indigenous population. That is why the original name of the islands was the Sandwitch Islands. It was not until anexed by the US in 1898 that freerange chickens became under their protectorate and saved from extinction.
    Once again hunting and eating this noble group has become popular.
    I urge all freerangers to arm themself …the resistence lives!
    Do not go quietly into that good pot,but rage against it.

    Freerange Bob

  • “But how dare we not think about the chickens! People in America are crazy.

    signed, Portland Oregon”

    It’s interesting to see how many people from American make comments about other commentors and refer to them as being American. Forgetting that Dooce’s site is read WORLDWIDE.

    Some of the nutter-comments and nutter-hatemails MUST come from other parts of the world too.

    If you think American’s are crazy when it comes to animals? America is big and eats a LOT of meat – so it’s only a small fraction!

    Just go to England. Seriously – I’ve never seen so many cat-ladies. And fucking weirdo vegetarians. Not your normal vegetarian – I mean militant mother fuckers who hate others who eat any kind of meat.

  • Heehee. Good LORD it’d kill some people to have a sense of humour, wouldn’t it?

  • “But how dare we not think about the chickens! People in America are crazy.

    signed, Portland Oregon”

    It’s interesting to see how many people from American make comments about other commentors and refer to them as being American. Forgetting that Dooce’s site is read WORLDWIDE.

    Some of the nutter-comments and nutter-hatemails MUST come from other parts of the world too.

    If you think American’s are crazy when it comes to animals? America is big and eats a LOT of meat – so it’s only a small fraction!

    Just go to England. Seriously – I’ve never seen so many cat-ladies. And fucking weirdo vegetarians. Not your normal vegetarian – I mean militant mother fuckers who hate others who eat any kind of meat.

  • Daydreamerme

    I don’t get it. I thought the point of your post was to highlight the fact that organic chicken broth is a bit silly as there’s really not that much chicken in it (and here I risk the the wrath of the guy who was outraged at your inability to make chicken broth as I share that inability, and praps theres more in chicken broth than the flavour leeched out of come chicken bones, I dunno). Why are people so incredibly touchy? And mean? As if you would be advocating that chickens should live in tiny cages covered in theirs, and their neighbours, poo.

    As stupid as some of these people seem, their comments were also distasteful – more than one person mentioned that this better way of raising chickens improves the taste of the chicken on your plate. Silly me, but I thought the point of organic/free range was that it is better for the chicken, not our taste buds.


  • Jackie

    Whoa, when I was in high school some girl actually told me that God sent chickens here to die for us (and that’s why it’s OK to eat Wendy’s chicken sandwiches). I was like– oh, you mean like Jesus? Would you eat a Jesus sandwich? She got pretty mad… Interestingly enough not nearly as mad as the chicken brigade though. And I mean, really, if all those people cared sooo much about chickens, why aren’t they all vegans? At least vegans are hardcore.

  • Macotter

    What? No boiled dog! How anti Native American! Native Americans were free range. Didn’t help!

  • p.s. I smiled when I saw the link to the Jets.
    Only was a bit disappointed that it wasn’t “Rocket 2 U”.

  • At first I was thinking, whoa, that Megan girl has GOT to be a hippie. But then she explained how she not only wears makeup, but was wearing it AT THAT VERY MOMENT. So now I see she couldn’t possibly be a hippie, as everyone knows that if a she-hippie puts on makeup, her face melts off.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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