An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Welcome to NY

Last night after the most insane cab ride I have ever endured, one where the cab driver knew a short-cut that, interestingly, a hundred million other people knew about, too, and as we’re circling Queens and heading in the exact opposite direction of Manhattan, the car in front of us gets into a fight with the car next to us, and here is where I warn those of you with sensitive ears, here is where you look away or think about lollipops and virginal doves. I can hear every syllable of anger through the rolled-up windows as one of them yells, “GODAMMIT, YOU MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER!” I’m pretty sure he was upset.

And then we’re lying in bed, finally, and from 12 AM until 2:30 AM a team of jackhammers hacked away at the sidewalk underneath our window, KA CHACKA HACKA HACKA GAAAAAROOOHM, over and over and over again, their screeching, unforgiving clanks swirling up to heaven in a deafening chorus of SCREW YOU.

This place is pretty much awesome.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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