An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Having used more four-letter words than necessary

prospect park

This is a photo I took while walking through Prospect Park in Brooklyn on Saturday afternoon. The weather has been phenomenal, and yesterday as we crossed the Brooklyn Bridge and looked back at the magnificent skyline, towering and magical, I got a little too much sun on my face and am now feeling guilty that I didn’t use a higher SPF moisturizer. And that is New York: here you will touch and feel the beating heart of the world, a thumping, raging explosion of light and marvelous texture, but remember! You are small and insignificant and need to suffer endlessly.

You stupid clod.

We have walked and walked until our legs would not carry us another step, and finally, now that we are used to the walking and the running and the dodging and the kicking people in the teeth, it’s time to go home. About this I am wistful, but I have many stories to tell. Like how in the middle of Rockefeller Plaza I called the police and threatened a cab driver with the three-inch heel of my boot. And how he took me seriously, abandoned his cab, AND RAN.

I could get the hang of this.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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