The 79th Annual Academy Awards

My next piece about the Oscars is up at Alpha Mom:

I cannot remember a single acceptance speech, except maybe the one given by Martin Scorsese, and then only because he didn’t say anything about how the Academy must be a bunch of idiots, it is about damn time. Didn’t you want even a tiny bit for him to drop a few colorful words and maybe break out a semi-automatic? Or maybe throw George Lucas head-first off the stage? Instead, he was very polite and humble and totally ready to be folded up and put in your purse so that you could take him home and snuggle with him later. And then maybe use his eyebrows to towel off after a hot bath.