the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Recent conversation with my former-Mormon hair stylist

“My boyfriend cannot wake up without a cup of coffee. Like, he will not get out of bed unless there is a cup of coffee waiting for him.”

“Wait a second. How do you know this about him?”



“Because he told me?”

“Whatever. You’ve been spending the night with your boyfriend.”


“You’re totally living in sin.”

“Not technically. It’s more like I’m sleeping over in sin.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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