the smell of my desperation has become a stench

What family is for

“I was serious. If you or one of your brothers don’t do something to deface my body at my funeral, I will have grossly overestimated the quality of our relationship.”

“I’m not going to take my socks off at your funeral and then stick them in your casket. That would just be gross.”

“That was only a suggestion, a jumping off point.”

“Okay, you know what? Here’s an idea. When you die I’m going to take a black Sharpie, walk up to your open casket and write BALLS across your forehead.”



Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more