the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Soul mates

“I read some article today about bottled water, and it said that if we paid as much for tap water as we do for the water we buy at 7-11, that most people would have a monthly water bill of over $9,000. I am not proud to be a human.”

“Do you not remember when I first moved in with you in LA, how you were constantly buying cases of bottled water?”

“But I didn’t know! I grew up in Memphis where the tap water tastes just as good as spring water, so I had never even heard of a water filter.”

“You had never heard of one until I brought it into your life. I changed your water consumption habits.”

“Yes, you did. You made me a better water drinker.”

“That’s why you married me, because I am helping you save the world.”

“For that, and also you have great hair.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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