the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Spanning time

“How old is he, your step-brother?”

“I’m not exactly sure, but I know he’s younger than you.”

“Really? Does this make me older than all your step-siblings?”

“OH MY GOD, IT DOES. And now that I think about it, you’re older than all of their spouses.”

“Get out–”

“Yes! You are! Get this: I’m the youngest child in the family, younger than my brother and sister, younger than my two step-sisters and three step-brothers, BUT I’M MARRIED TO THE OLDEST PERSON.”

“Is it boggling your mind?”


“You need to add one more adjective to that.”

“Really? Which one?”


“I was going to suggest a different adjective, but because I want to write about this conversation on my family-friendly website I’M NOT GOING TO.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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