the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Lovely Linda

Today is my mother’s birthday. To celebrate I thought I would publicly declare how much I love her despite our many differences and thank her for continuing to love me despite the things I do here, things like what I’m about to do. The following is a transcript of a voice mail she left me the day after she read what I had written about our heated debate over global warming:

this is your mother…
the one who doesn’t believe in global warming, that one…
you’re a shithead…
call me back.

I haven’t deleted it yet, don’t think I ever will, and I’m thinking I’ll keep it handy and play it back for all those people who write and say my, my, your poor family, I can’t believe they still speak to you after what you have put them through. Because my, my, don’t you know, my mother taught me everything I know.

And I couldn’t be more proud that she is the person in this world whom I resemble most. I love you, Mom.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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