the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Book signing in SLC, plus cute dogs

We have finally nailed down all the details surrounding my book signing in Salt Lake City next week:

The King’s English Bookshop
1511 South 1500 East
Salt Lake City, UT

Thursday June 5th
Starts at 7pm

Word on the street is that the Avon World Sales Leader is going to be there, and I can guarantee that a two minute conversation with her WILL EXPLAIN SO MUCH. Not sure you’ll recognize her? She’s the one over there with The Perfect Hair. And All That Jewelry. Waving Her Middle Finger At Me.

Also, some of you are still wondering whether or not it’s okay to send me your copy of the book to sign, and yes, absolutely, send them to the address on my contact page and please include return postage. I’m sending off a huge batch this weekend, so if you’ve sent me one in the last week or two, DO NOT FEAR! I have not stolen it and added it to my eBay store. And no, I don’t really have an eBay store, but now that I think about it I wonder how much I could get for a shit-eating puppy. HAHA. JUST KIDDING. I WOULD ONLY SELL COCO ON ETSY.

For those of you who could not care less about the book signing or the book in general, I recorded the daily dog feeding ritual that never fails to crack me up. We have both dogs wait for a signal to eat, and you’ll see here that Coco does not trust that the food will remain sitting where we put it. She keeps checking to make sure it’s still there. And Chuck? Not once does he take his eyes off Jon. His stillness is almost eerie, although I do appreciate it because he makes us look like we are responsible for his good behavior when in reality he is just doing us a favor.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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