the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Bucket of trouble

The night before we left Florida we took a long walk along the beach and found a group of kids catching crabs. It’s something we used to do as a family in my childhood, although we’d always let them go. But I’m permanently scarred by one instance when my sister’s husband (then her boyfriend) reached out to grab a crab with his net and sliced the poor creature in half. I was so upset about it, so inconsolable, that my family promised (lied to) me that the crab had survived and had grown his body back. And I believed them because I wanted so badly for it to be true. Because crabs have feelings, too.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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