This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

Should probably replace the batteries in our walkie talkies

Jon: “Hey, baby. What’s up?”

Me: “Not much. Just sitting over here on this side of the couch reading tweets on my phone.”

Jon: “How you doin’?”

Me: “Um, I’m fine. How are you?”

Jon: “No, how you doin’?”

Me: “I’m doin’ fine.”

Jon: “How’s… that?”

Me: “How’s what?”

Jon: “… that.”

Me: “The tweets?”

Jon: “No… that. Why won’t you acknowledge that I’ve been nudging you?”

Me: “What ‘that’ are you referring to?”

Jon: “Is your thigh not resting on my foot?”

Me: “That would be a negative.”

Jon: “Then whose thigh is that?”

Me: “I think you’re about to tell me that you’ve been flirting with Chuck for the last ten minutes.”

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