the smell of my desperation has become a stench

A furious magician

I was reading through some of my favorite websites yesterday when I stumbled across a YouTube link on Metafilter that pretty much screwed up the rest of my day. Jon heard me playing it on my computer and was so disturbed by the sound of it that he walked over and we watched it together, over and over again, and then we spent the next eight hours quoting it to each other and laughing until we cried. And then late last night we both reached the conclusion that this is a pretty good litmus test for relationships, because you’re either going to love this video or despise it. And I could see someone going, you know what? I can’t believe you think that this piece of crap is funny, and the fact that you do makes everything else you do so much more annoying. Like what? Like how about those gerbil noises you make when you eat Corn Flakes. Or how you clip your toenails IN BED. Also, I hate it when you keep repeating the word pussy when we’re having sex. And everything that has ever gone wrong between this someone and their significant other comes right up to the surface, all because these two kids had to go and give the world this present:

“A discussion with Ben Bernanke, Chairman of the Board of Governors of the United States Federal Reserve.”

But what makes this video even more genius to me are the comments left on Metafilter about it, like “I think metafilter just jumped the shark” and “weak and pointless” and “I didn’t get it either.” And I’m guessing that if I was in a relationship with any of those people and they saw how hard I laughed when I first saw this video that they’d be cursing the fact that we had ever swapped saliva.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more

SaveSave