An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

A furious magician

I was reading through some of my favorite websites yesterday when I stumbled across a YouTube link on Metafilter that pretty much screwed up the rest of my day. Jon heard me playing it on my computer and was so disturbed by the sound of it that he walked over and we watched it together, over and over again, and then we spent the next eight hours quoting it to each other and laughing until we cried. And then late last night we both reached the conclusion that this is a pretty good litmus test for relationships, because you’re either going to love this video or despise it. And I could see someone going, you know what? I can’t believe you think that this piece of crap is funny, and the fact that you do makes everything else you do so much more annoying. Like what? Like how about those gerbil noises you make when you eat Corn Flakes. Or how you clip your toenails IN BED. Also, I hate it when you keep repeating the word pussy when we’re having sex. And everything that has ever gone wrong between this someone and their significant other comes right up to the surface, all because these two kids had to go and give the world this present:

“A discussion with Ben Bernanke, Chairman of the Board of Governors of the United States Federal Reserve.”

But what makes this video even more genius to me are the comments left on Metafilter about it, like “I think metafilter just jumped the shark” and “weak and pointless” and “I didn’t get it either.” And I’m guessing that if I was in a relationship with any of those people and they saw how hard I laughed when I first saw this video that they’d be cursing the fact that we had ever swapped saliva.

  • Kids nowadays … Whatever happened to mailbox baseball?

  • Lauren

    Ha ha! I think it’s funny too, Spencer.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t get it?

  • Great now I’m going to have a nightmare about a furious magician with giant teeth feeding applesauce to a baby in a highchair! Creepy, Spencer!

  • At around the 1:20 mark, when he started talking about Spencer’s teeth, I died. But I was happy.

    This is better than those Twilight books. Fo’ sho’.

  • I got Avada Kedavra!

    And then pretty much nothing else…

  • Brilliant!

  • I think (I didn’t check and verify, but the names sound very familiar) that these are the same kids who are responsible for Potter Puppet Pals, one of the best things to ever come from Harry Potter.

  • apt

    I hope you have seen this:

    Prepare to hum it endlessly.

  • Hubby is looking over my shoulder and alternately telling me to turn it off and shut the door so the kids can’t hear us laughing. Guess I married the right one!

  • Anonymous

    I couldn’t watch it. His teeth almost made me lose my lunch.

  • Amy

    What makes this brilliant is at minute 2:43 you can see the guy recording the whole thing in the mirror laughing!

  • I’m sorry to say I don’t get it. Is there a reference I’m missing?

  • Curlsz

    I’m scared, very very scared…hold me.

  • Uh yeah I didn’t really get it either which means I’m either retarded or brilliant.

  • Andrea

    I couldn’t pay attention to what was going on because I had an unrelenting urge to brush that guy’s teeth. Ew.

  • KC

    1) I was really hoping for the first minute or so that he was talking to Spencer Pratt.
    2) Totally f-ing hilarious, even though he wasn’t.

  • This is not the first time I’m glad we didn’t swap spit, but it is the first time I’ve been glad of that because of one of your video picks.

    Emperor’s new clothes.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t get it. Seriously, someone enlighten those of us who don’t get it.

  • Nicole

    I don’t get it either, but it’s edited by the guy that does the Potter Puppet Pals videos. Those I get.

  • Honey

    I don’t get it either. I had two loud outbursts of cackle somewhere in the middle. Now I am going to try my best to repress the lot of it.

  • Jennifer

    Yeah, I get the feeling if I knew why this was supposed to be Ben Bernanke talking to someone named Spencer, that that the whole thing WOULD be f-ing hilarious, but alas, I too do not get it. Oh, and that dudes mouth could compete with Mick Jagger’s, easily!!

  • Anonymous

    Loved it. Thanks!
    For some reason it reminded me of the George Washington song, also super funny.

  • I just kept hoping that it somehow had something to do with Spencer Pratt. Which makes me all kinds of dumb.

  • Sethonious

    I need your teeth spencer.

    I’m a furious magician!

    Instant classic!!!

  • I hate it when I’m at work and people post videos that I can’t listen to! Although from the looks of it the kid looks creeeepy. Maybe the sound will change my mind.

  • You sexy little rattlesnake, Spencer. You tall drink of water, Spencer.

  • I kind of want to make out with that kid now. Pretty bad, actually.

  • I need you for my Lonely Hearts Club Band, Spencer. LOL

    I think you call the appeal of something like this, the Ionesco factor.

  • Anonymous

    it’s okay. I laughed my ass off. and I too will be quoting it for the next eight hours.

  • I appreciate the madcap off-the-wall goofiness of it but it didn’t make me laugh.

    Maybe I’m too old? I bet when I was 18 I would have peed myself over this.

    I need to go check out the Potter Puppet Pals. Maybe I’ll get that.

  • Mari

    Meh. Didn’t really do anything for me.

  • I’m exhausted from laughing so hard. Don’t get it. Is there anything to get? I feel kinda naughty, like I got crabs from watching this. And I need applesauce!

  • i wish i got it. i think i’ll share it with one of my friends. maybe he can enlighten me.

  • Dan

    I listened to it while trimming my gums with a razor blade. It works quite well, and it makes the whole process of gum-trimming much more enjoyable. In fact, this may very well replace the Big Bob’s Polka Mayhem album that I used as a gum-trimming soundtrack.


  • I look to you, Heather, to make me laugh about the shitty economy and corporate welfare.

  • I can’t decide if it’s a good moment or a horrible moment in my life when the only part of this I got was the Harry Potter reference.

  • Anonymous

    Is that Bladezz from THE GUILD?

  • SuzieQ

    I’ll probably lie in bed and get a fit of silly giggling bcause this video will pop up in my head.

  • I’m just glad my name isn’t Spencer – or Id be having nightmares about my name being said over and over in the creepy voice. Oh, and I totally don’t get it.

  • Sus

    Holy fuck; that was hysterical. How he was able to keep a straight face is beyond me.

  • Oh my gosh. I’m dying of laughter right now and promptly sent it to my boyfriend who will die of laughter as well.

    This is the best thing I have seen all week!

  • rpk

    reminds me of Ernie Kovacs

  • Jennifer

    I don’t get it either, although it reminded me vaguely of Interview with the Vampire for some reason. Is that what it is supposed to be?

    I do find the intensity humorous, but was held back from full enjoyment by my puzzlement over whether there was some broader theme that I was missing.

  • V.

    You’re the architect of my dreams, Chuckles.

  • Why do I get the feeling this is really deep and political and just totally over my head?

    Also, mildly creepy. I hope I don’t meet anyone named Spencer soon.

  • M

    you sexy little rattlesnake.

    this is funny in that Old Gregg, ridiculously quotable way.

    (and render spencer was my captcha phrase.)

  • thedogatemyhomework

    I did the same kind of crap when I was a film major. It’s called college humor. Not well done and not so funny. But, glad to have seen it anyway. I feel like I’m part of the with-it crowd now..

  • candybeans

    made the mistake of watching it in the quiet section of my school’s library. my eyes began to water and i had to stop when he started talking about “OLD OATS, SPENCER.”

  • I’m a litle concerned now that I may utter the phrase “furious magician” at inappropriate moments, and often.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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