An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

A furious magician

I was reading through some of my favorite websites yesterday when I stumbled across a YouTube link on Metafilter that pretty much screwed up the rest of my day. Jon heard me playing it on my computer and was so disturbed by the sound of it that he walked over and we watched it together, over and over again, and then we spent the next eight hours quoting it to each other and laughing until we cried. And then late last night we both reached the conclusion that this is a pretty good litmus test for relationships, because you’re either going to love this video or despise it. And I could see someone going, you know what? I can’t believe you think that this piece of crap is funny, and the fact that you do makes everything else you do so much more annoying. Like what? Like how about those gerbil noises you make when you eat Corn Flakes. Or how you clip your toenails IN BED. Also, I hate it when you keep repeating the word pussy when we’re having sex. And everything that has ever gone wrong between this someone and their significant other comes right up to the surface, all because these two kids had to go and give the world this present:

“A discussion with Ben Bernanke, Chairman of the Board of Governors of the United States Federal Reserve.”

But what makes this video even more genius to me are the comments left on Metafilter about it, like “I think metafilter just jumped the shark” and “weak and pointless” and “I didn’t get it either.” And I’m guessing that if I was in a relationship with any of those people and they saw how hard I laughed when I first saw this video that they’d be cursing the fact that we had ever swapped saliva.

  • Canuck

    Well, I’m going to join the ranks of the “I don’t get it” crowd. Didn’t resonate with me. Not that the acting was bad, but it didn’t seem to be about anything. Nothing to hang a laugh on. If that’s funny, so are toenail clippings in bed. Shrug.

    But that bit you said about saying “pussy” too much when having sex? I like a little bit of “dirty talk” when we’re shagging. Not constant chatter, but some is good. And some of those nice terms for the power centre of the universe are just fine in there.

  • Dorie

    I generally like stupid stuff, but didn’t get that. I laughed my A** off with the leprechaun video – I’m at a loss here. Too creepy, probably why I don’t like Radiohead either. I can appreciate their musical talent, but it’s all too melancholy.

    I do like your style though – keep the letterpress stuff comin!

  • I think I need to see it again due to the immense anxiety I felt the whole time about what Spencer would say in response. Why didn’t Spencer say anything? What would he say if he could? Why isn’t it longer? I’M SO CURIOUS. See, that is probably even more crazy than thinking this is super funny. NOw I must have my boyfriend watch this and see what he thinks. SPENCER.

  • Ouchie. I laughed, and then I coughed up a lung. I am going to mail my lung to you, Spencer. You’ll like that, won’t you?

  • Bran

    WTF? That’s all I got.

  • Gee, do you think the guy he’s talking to is named Spencer, lol? If I had three more minutes in my day, I’d watch it again and count how many times he said the name “SPENCER”!!

    Hi, my name is Jill and I’m a professional time waster.

  • Blue

    Totally hysterical! Still cannot stop laughing.

  • Yes! The hair! Oh, the horrible, horrible hair. You know what? CREEPY was the word I was looking for.

    And 101’s comments reminded me of something else I wanted to say: Your comments on saying “pussy” over and over during sex totally made me think that’s what Jon does and UGH! I don’t need that picture in my head. Jon’s cute but I don’t need to know him that intimately. I hate the idea of dirty talk during sex. It’s so contrived and affected.


  • Love it!!!!!! Thank you so much.

  • Kim

    I was recently introduced to your website and I am thoroughly enjoying it!

    -The video was hysterical

    -Your daughter is adorable and consider yourself lucky if you don’t know the friggin Barbie Magic of Pegasus movie and songs as well as the 12 Dancing Fairies. Both.. given as birthday gifts to my daughter!! but that’s okay… those people haven’t had kids yet.. I will get the last laugh!

    Thanks for the smiles 🙂

    PS: Thanks for the post on your experience as being a single Mom. Been one for 5 years now (not by choice) and people don’t get it, it’s hard work!

  • suzaneptune

    I love you Spencer. I am going to spank you silly.

  • I didn’t get it…my husband didn’t get it…and we were both mad that we wasted time watching it. I guess we are soulmates!

  • Sher

    I’m a complete tool…I didn’t even get the Harry Potter reference.

  • Lauren Strange

    Those 1,000 “Spencer’s” made me want to piss myself.
    I’m not sure I’ll be able to get that out of my head for the next week.

  • There is no humor like random humor that only 7 people think is hilarious. I watched it twice, once with a slight chuckle. The second time (after 2 glasses of wine) with incredulous hilarity.

    This reminds me of the SNL Digital shorts….

  • You want ALL THE APPLESAUCE!?…. Spencer!?

  • My wife has/had a thing for Alan Greenspan. It is part of the reason I love her so much – her passion for Alan Greenspan. Unfortunately, Greenspan is not has fun to say as Bernake.

  • Anonymous

    Uh, I don’t know. I think for this to seem funny, or genius, I’d have to take up smoking pot again.

  • I didn’t get it. AT ALL. But my son was crying until he turned around and watched it. he sat mesmerized the entire 3:33 ( and is still chilling watchin’ me type). Which is unheard of from my 7.5 month old monkey who tries to WALK. For that I thank you. And Spencer.

  • Perhaps this clip would also be a good litmus test for finding out if someone you just met would be a true friend. Sort of like when you use the ol’ Monty Python expression: “You know what they always say.” And a newfound friend replies, “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!”

  • Anonymous

    Is any one else obsessed with South of Nowhere?
    That’s what I thought about when he kept saying Spencer.

  • LOL! that was awesome!

    and you can see the reflection of the guy filming in the curio cabinet at about 2:43… nice!

  • Shoooba

    OK…that was fucking funny. Or maybe it was the two glasses of wine at dinner? But I laughed…you tall drink of water, you!

  • sravana

    Well, this 51-year-old thought it was hilarious. Pointless, but hilarious. Oh, and I’m sure to floss tonight…

  • Am I missing something? I think I am going to start quoting this to the hubby, so he can be like, “Huh?” and I will giggle maniacally. Bwah hahaha!

  • ninib

    Ack! My husband’s name is Spencer. I think I’m going to go spank him silly…

  • ebh

    I’m still undecided about the video. I wanted to laugh…

    About YEE-HAW. I used to live 5 blocks away from the shop when I was in undergrad (I’m a Tennessee girl, too). I love that place. They’ll give you a tour if you ask.

  • Anonymous

    There is NOTHING funny about Socialism!

  • Ryan

    I love the fact that Spencer is barefoot. He’s my favorite too – the parts that made me laugh the most are when he took his glasses off, and then when he bit the stem. Hee!

  • What the hell was that? HA!

    Your a tall drink of water Spencer. HA!

  • PJ

    It wasn’t deep or meaningful, people, it was just very funny in a bent, deeply weird, creepy and quirky way. If you didn’t laugh, don’t get angry. I had two Caesars before watching, so maybe alcohol is a prerequisite.

  • alisha

    Just FYI to anyone who doesn’t know… he’s quoting the Lemon Demon song, which was written by comedian Neil Cicierega. Just to put it in context.

  • alisha

    And also, it is funny as heck. If you ask me.

  • Robin

    Well that was 3:33 minutes I’ll never get back.

    Off I go to brush & floss my teeth however…

  • Goodness – I, too, felt kind of naughty. I am in a computer lab at Uni, most people are writing essays and working on projects. I’m giggling over a tall drink of water. awkward.

  • RzDrms

    #1 comment: i played mailbox baseball with my *head* when i was about seven, whilst riding my bike. no fun.

    no fun at all.

    (p.s. this video = way dumb. thank goodness no saliva was swapped!)

  • Yah, this is hilarious! Spencer! You dirty….BOY! Love it. This will definitely be running through my head over the next couple days. he he he 😀

  • aubriane

    I’m going to watch this so many times over the next few days.

    I’m so thankful for this video, you rambunctious little infant.

  • That was so creepy it made me laugh. Crazy what people put on YouTube.

  • I found myself listening as I was doing other things and snorting when I heard “You tall drink of water” to the scared pathetic man in the chair next to him.

    I am pretty sure he said Spencer 34,000 times which was hysterical.

  • That was amazing.

  • Dana

    Must use at work: “I’m going to spank you silly.”

  • Jen

    Spencer?! That was hilarious! 2 hours later I’m sitting here and randomly bursting out laughing.

  • Lisa

    Okay, that was pretty funny. I don’t think my husband would have the attention span for the whole thing but that doesn’t matter as he’s already asleep.

    Thanks, Ben…. We’re all socialists, now!

    (And “Ben”‘s teeth look about like my 14 year olds. It takes all my strength not to brush them madly in his sleep.)

  • Heather

    Hated and loved it. Kind of had a Napolean Dynamite effect on me. I HATED it the first time I watched but then spent the entire next day laughing over it and repeating lines. UGH that voice is going to be in my head all night!

  • Anonymous

    i didn’t get it…

  • Well… I didn’t love it and I didn’t hate it. I may not have understood it but I confess that I was pretty impressed with that kid’s stream of consciousness of non-sequiturs… do you think he just made that up on the spot or what? That’s pretty good.

    “I need your teeth, Spencer!” Did you see Spencer’s face? He was clearly perplexed about that, too.

    Also, yes, the plaque-encrusted teeth bothered me as well.

    But yeah… I kinda wanted to make out with him, too. But I’m not a Spencer nor a tall drink of water nor a sexy little rattlesnake nor a baby eating applesauce so I’m pretty sure he’d furiously make himself disappear rather than make out with me and my squeaky clean, well-flossed teeth.

  • Okay… I got the delayed reaction thing. I didn’t laugh when I watched it the first time because I was just too thrown. But now thinking back over the ridiculous stuff he said is causing me to laugh ’til I cry.

  • lily

    “You sexy little rattlesnake…” Comedy gold people…comedy gold!

  • Glenn

    There is an extremely horrible error at 2:42. In the top right corner. I’m pretty sure I saw a reflection of Spencer filming. There are 148 comments before this one, so I’m sorry if this was previously mentioned.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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