the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Change tastes great

Me: “Jon, can you pose for me.”

Jon: “Do you want me to flex or flash my abs?”

Me: “Try posing as if you’re in a bikini, but please, keep your clothes on. My mom is going to see this.”

Jon: “How about this?”

Me: “You’re just sitting there with your legs crossed.”

Jon: “Yes, and do you see Coco? Obviously it’s driving the ladies wild.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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