This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

For better, for worse

I wanted to post this episode of Momversation and open it up for discussion here because it’s not usual for me to have such a different opinion than that of the other panelists, and in this case it’s not so much of a different opinion than it is a different experience. What’s more difficult, motherhood or marriage? And when I thought about this question it was pretty clear cut for me. I mean, six months into parenthood I checked myself into a mental hospital. That’s a pretty good indication that the software was not compatible with my operating system.

Whereas my marriage has caused its fair share of wrinkles, but it hasn’t ever made me consider checking out of life.

In the original videos that I submitted to this conversation I go into my reasoning a bit more, but the constraints of the Momversation platform sort of make it impossible to include all the footage, and this is perhaps my only complaint about this project. Sometimes a key point or explanation is edited out or sentences are cut in half, and what I originally hoped to get across is compromised. In this instance I wish they had left in the part where I talk about how much easier motherhood has gotten for me, how the instincts I thought would kick in immediately took their damn sweet time and I had no idea what I was doing for about a year. Those instincts finally did settle in, and when I look back at those first few months the memories have the same tone and color as the memory of being dropped into a pool not knowing how to swim.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I really had no experience with babies, whereas before I got married I dated a wide variety of men, some hairy, some bald, many of them gay. I’d lived with men before, had shared my stuff, had compromised my tastes and time to make things work, and so I understood what kind of energy it requires to make a relationship last. And when I started dating Jon I knew that he was the person with whom I could make it work, with whom I wanted to make it work.

This does not mean my marriage is easy by any means, and in the original footage I talk about the many years of therapy we have been in personally and together as a couple. Our therapist has been paid a lot of money to teach us to tell each other, hey, stop treating me this way, you’re not meeting my needs, I feel this way when you act like that. And yes, my nose scrunches up like that often when we have those types of discussions. And the argument usually ends with Jon going OH MY GOD I’M MARRIED TO YOUR GRANNY.

And while motherhood has become so much more natural to me there is still so much uncharted territory ahead, and I find that each age is so different than the one that preceded it that sometimes, although infrequently, it feels like we’re starting from the beginning all over again. Sure, there are similar surprises in marriage, but right now almost eight years into our relationship I feel like what we share is the rock I use to stabilize myself when being jarred by everything else around me.

I’m curious about your experiences. Do you find one is easier than the other? (And since some of us aren’t allowed to marry the ones we love let’s extend the discussion to relationships in general.)

  • Diana

    For me, marriage is harder. While I love my husband very much, I don’t unconditionally love him like I do our daughter. And it’s always easier to be sweet, patient and calm with someone you love unconditionally even when you’ve had no sleep and are facing deadlines at work the next day.

    And a spouse’s needs are much more complex than a child’s. You know what you’re child’s needs are, they’re easy to fulfill. With a spouse, it’s not so easy nor can you always meet their needs.

  • Anonymous

    As someone who spent most of December trying to convince my husband that we needed to run-away, I would say that motherhood is definitely harder than marriage!

  • Kim in Alaska

    Parenting is much harder. You have to be a parent, you don’t have to be a wife. And mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.

  • Parenting IS the most difficult thing in the world to me — and the most rewarding. My husband is my partner with whom I share my life. My daughter is my responsibility. As a mother, I have to be there always and help guide her and shape her and teach her constantly all the while she is striving to be her own person and figure out her own life. Parenting it the most heart-wrenching condition I’ve ever experienced and I would never trade it for anything.

  • Kelly

    I absolutely think that motherhood is harder. Maybe that is because, like you Heather, I didn’t have a lot of experience with babies and then I ended up having two at once. Did I mention that the twins turned out to be identical boys and I grew with all women?

    It’s funny I would say that motherhood is harder, because my marriage didn’t survive, so it was obviously difficult. But now, being in a relationship that is so different for me that I really WANT to make work, I find it much easier than motherhood.

    Motherhood comes with the heavy weight of knowing that you brought this precious life or lives into the world and that it is your responsibility to protect them and love them and also prepare them for the world. It is a big duty.

    I want to be clear though, just because I think motherhood is harder doesn’t mean that I don’t relish it and that I am not thankful for the honor in being a mom. It IS hard, but it is also so wonderfully rewarding.

  • Pat

    After having been married to the same guy for 31 years, raising three kids and enjoying two grandkids, I can say this: Marriage and parenthood are both tough states, with peaks and valleys, depending on where you are. Kind of like riding through the mountains. When you’re in the valley, you gaze at the mountains with longing. When you’re in the mountains, the valleys below look green and lush. But most of the time, you don’t have the time to sit there and stare. You just deal with the road and try to take the curves with care. And sometimes, you just hope like hell you don’t miss one.

  • LOL I LOVE your screaming date analogy.

    I think Finslippy’s explanation makes a lot of sense (you can neglect your husband but not really your kid since they literally depend on you for their livelihood) but you know, like you said, your experience was really different from most of theirs. And that’s fine. If it makes you feel better, my mom told me she avoided having a kid for so long because she was afraid she’d kill it if it screamed and cried. No wonder I was such a quiet baby…

  • Although I do not envy your stay in the booby hatch, I do envy, then, your marriage. I am finding marriage infinitely harder than motherhood-but only SINCE Motherhood.

    We both have less time and patience for each other than before. My husband oftens feels stressed and the burden of taking on more financial strain since I work less has been tough.

    Which is not to say, Motherhood is not tough-It is. But, since my Son is a toddler, he is a bit easier to read. It’s also easier to try and correct HIS behavior. 🙂

  • Natty

    Would you mind posting the video that was edited out?
    I’m not married and don’t have kids…but coming from a dysfunctional family, I’m interested in your perspective.

  • I’m 14 weeks pregnant with my first child, and i’m scared shitless. Not to mention, i’m 36. Not exactly a spring chicken.

    I’m absolutely terrified of everything realated to my little alien in my tummy, I don’t really have much baby experiece either, i’m jumping into this with a “whatever happens happens” attitude, i’ll deal with whatever is thrown at me. What else can I do really? I’m doing this. I just hope it’s a very patient baby. lol.

    I’m having fun decorating the nursery for now. We’ll see what happens once it “arrives”.

  • i didn’t think i wanted to get married until i met my husband. and i didn’t think i wanted to have kids until i met my husband. so i think that’s really interesting considering i am now stay at home mom with a 2.5 and a 1.5 year old.

    both roles have come fairly naturally, but every so often i get a huge raging desire to get a job and take my kids to day care.

    my marriage, like heather’s, is the rock that i need to survive being at home with my young kids. while not near pefect, my husband does try to give me whatever i need to survive (ie, a massage, a new cd, a sunday afternoon out of the house, etc). it helps that he has a fairly stress free job that he really enjoys, so coming home and relieving me isn’t a big deal.

  • ML

    It totally depends on the individual husband and totally depends on the individual child and totally depends on the hormones/chemicals of the year. Personlity is a huge factor. One kid is a walk in the park, one is my life lesson.

  • Jen

    kids. WAY HARDER.
    Let’s see…I liken it to the fact that THEY NEVER GO AWAY. They are with you all the time, or your responsibility to arrange otherwise, and they always NEED you.
    Marriage is MUCH MUCH easier. we get breaks. He goes to work. he brushes his own teeth. I could go on forever.

  • Nicole

    I am 31 and married with no kids. The thought of having/raising a child completely freaks me out. I don’t have the maternal thing going for me and I’m too worried about money, daycare, raising another human being, oh and the fact that it is forever! It was refreshing to read what you said about not being equipped in the beginning with your first child. There really is no way to prepare/practice for parenthood unless you want to work in a daycare or something. I imagine I will have kids (if my body lets me at 36 or so) one day but I don’t think it will ever be easier than being married – and that’s been no joy ride either.

  • Jenn from BC Canada

    I am not married but have been in several long term relationships (engaged twice) and MANY shorter term ones. That said I feel that parenting for me is MUCH easier than relationships! My daughter is 6 (and more than a half if you ask her!) and we have a system that works for us. If you interject someone else into that system it really buggers up the works so to speak. I think it is much simpler for me to just focus on her and our relationship and stay single. JMHO!

  • Maggie

    Ultimately, I find motherhood much more difficult because at the end of the day, I am responsible for this young person’s life, for his upbringing, for the person he will become when he is an adult. He’s almost 15, and things are harder than ever. I have to let him go soon and hope that everything I’ve given him will prepare him to live his own life.

    With my husband, while things can be very difficult, he’s a grown human being and brings that to the table…the burden of who he is, who he will become, is not on my shoulders.

  • Aislinn

    Parenting is by far the hardest thing I’ve EVER done.

  • kaptaink

    My initial reaction is to say that motherhood is harder. But on some levels I would say my marriage is hard as well, but for different reasons.

    With motherhood I’m constantly worried that I will screw up my daughter, but I’ve found that so far (at age 7) she seems capable of an endless amount of forgiveness and love. No matter what I do, her love is completely unconditional. And even when she gets hurt, she seems so willing to try again. The stakes seem really high and the responsibility at times is overwhelming, but the margin of error seems to tip in my favour (at least for now).

    With my marriage the challenges are different. How do we balance each other’s needs with our own AND those of our kids? And since this is my second marriage, I truly appreciate that the amount of patience and love one can have for another isn’t always endless. Sometimes you can neglect someone too much, misread their needs too many times, or simply stop communicating. And the willingness to say your sorry, to go out on a limb, to reach out and connect even when you are hurting? That is a delicate thing that can so easily and quietly slip away.

    So, for right now, the sheer “in-your-face” challenges of parenting win out. But I’m always mindful that the stuff between your spouse, that can be fragile and easy to neglect.

    Good question!

  • My husband is my best friend, sorry to get all softy, but really…I feel like I am living life and feel so lucky to spend every day with him. We joke that we have ‘movie love.’ Okay, I am making you barf now. We have been together for 11 years.

    Kids are scary. I do have a lot of kid experience having helped raised my nephew and my many many nanny jobs. Even with this experience, I feel that having my own is going to be a lot of work to not screw them up in a major way. So, I feel a lot of pressure getting ready to have kids myself.

    Whereas Jack is my soulmate for sure, unconditional love, I am confident he will be there always. Whereas a kid may move away and decide to hate you for how you raised them…I feel like unconditional love between kid and parents is sometimes a one way street. I just have to hypothesize at this point.

    Guessing – Marriage easier – Children Harder

  • Patti

    I have to say that I find parenting way harder than my marriage. Of course this could have something to do with the fact that we just celebrated our 2nd anniversary, and we have 3 babies (15 months and younger). I am so busy with the children (we also have 3 older children) that when my husband finally gets home from work, I hand him whichever baby I am currently holding and run from the house screaming only to return after they have all gone to sleep including my husband, so I rarely see him.

  • Beth

    I think it definitely depends on what your experience is with your spouse and if you have “challenging” children or not. In my case my first marriage was a 17 year long nightmare, but the kids were easy. There was never a question about who I loved more – my kids were part of me and didn’t make me miserable.

    However, when my daughter got to a certain age she started going through these changing phases so I understand completely what you mean by having to start all over. I would just get used to one phase when she’d switch to another, so it took me a while to figure out that it was ME who would have to adjust and sort of roll with the punches with her. So now she is a happily married mother herself, and when she calls and tells me she and her husband are moving across the country again or that they’re going to live in a bus, I just say ok, that’s great. There’s no stopping her, but it’s ok.

    I have remarried, and I think if I had found this guy in the beginning my answer might be different, because I know a lot more now and marriage is SO MUCH easier and really wonderful. I guess for those of you who find parenting more difficult, just realize that kids change and grow really fast, and that phase you find so obnoxious will be over soon. But there’s another one coming, so get used to it! : )

  • First of all, wow. I’m really pumped to watch this episode (I know that probably sounds ridiculous).

    My husband and I are currently expecting our first baby. We’ve had a very blissful marriage thusfar-February 16 will be two years. That’s not to say that we don’t have disagreements and arguments, and, randomly, fights, but in the same way that you say you knew Jon was the man with whom you could make it work because you WANTED to make it work–I completely understand. We work things out. For the msot part, we sail through love and life in a really nice way.

    Now, we’ve just graduated university (we’re 24 & 23), looking for jobs in a downturning economy, and expecting our first baby. Our marriage is still great, and the we’re both very excited about the baby that’s coming. However, I have no idea how, if at all, parenthood will change any of these things.

    Hopefully, everything will continue as-is or only get better. 🙂

    Thank you so much for always sharing so much of your life. You are a true inspiration.

  • HR

    Marriage is so much easier for me. I think I am an excellent mother, it took some juggling to find my style, but I do feel like a great mom. That said, my marriage (8 years) has had a bump or two, but we are so compatible and both really do put in 100% so the other person doesn’t feel like they are getting the short stick. I know he will do whatever I need him to do, that he would never ask me to do something he wasn’t willing to do himself etc. It is much easier for me to co-exist and make choices to make him happy than it is for me to shape and help define who my children will be.

  • Raising humans is not easy, especially when you’re raising little humans with different personalities that don’t mirror your own. And when those little humans turn into teenagers and become a whole other species, then it gets even more challenging than marriage ever was.

  • They are both hard at different moments and in VERY different ways. If anyone says either are easy, they are not telling the truth.

    When my kids were younger (they are 6 and 8 now) I would have answered parenting, hands down.

    I guess my answer changes depending on the week and on whether or not the husband has taken the Christmas lights down. 🙂

  • Julie

    Parenthood is much harder for me than marriage. I think this is, as Heather said, because of my past experiences. I too have divorced parents and had no illusions about marriage. My Mom bailed early on all of us (4th grade) I think this left me with some serious gaps in my concept of what it meant to be a mother. It does not come naturally to me, and has been a bit of fumbling in the dark, and some serious failings. There is constant doubt there I think because I know that the responsibility, and therefore the fault for those failings rest solely on my shoulders. I cannot hold y daughter responsible for my parental mishaps. Whereas in marriage when you are dealing with two adults, the blame can be shared.

  • As a “recovering Mormon” myself and someone who’s family pops out babies like wild cats (seriously folks…16 kids under 15!), I often find myself looking at my family in awe. HOW do they make parenting look so easy?!

    I have a baby who turned 8 months old today! Woo-hoo…she’s still ALIVE and she’s now HAPPY! Funny how at that 7 month mark you tend to forget the obnoxious screams 24-7 as they quiet down into being ‘just little people’ and the desire comes on to procreate again. What’s wrong with me?! Am I glutten for punishment?

    Anyway…being a parent is so much harder than being married. I mean, I don’t have to wipe the hubby’s rear and he can CALMLY tell me what HE needs and always asks me what I need. What kid thinks to say, “Hey Mom…can I change my diaper for you today to give you a break?” Or what 2 year old says, “I know I slipped in my pee because I forgot where the toilet was located at a convienent time…How about I clean it up for you?”

    Men, for the most part (yes I am going out on a limb here) are rational and want to be there to help…they just don’t always know how to do just that! The best question my husband asks me is “Listen or Solve, honey?” Once they get a clue and once we realize we just need to tell them they are king of the house and God’s gift to us every once in a while (preferably in something see through) they are the easy one’s to deal with!

    Heather, how I stay out of the looney bin is simple…Zoloft and a good therapist. Plus I just get into a big family event every once in a while and walk away saying, “At least it’s not me…..”

  • LisaP

    I am generally comfortable in my role as a mother. I have been lucky enough to have children who generally calmed when I cuddled them. I have heard enough screaming children stories to know that it is not me, I just lucked out. There is some comfort in knowing that my adult husband has agreed to stick around even when I show my evil side. When I stop and think about comparing parenting and marriages, I think it comes down to the fact that I am more fearful of parenting because I think it is possible to cause more damage in this role.

  • Anonymous

    For me parenting has been harder, but I imagine if the marriage is difficult the parenting is exponentially harder as well.

  • Parenting is far more difficult than marriage. I didn’t watch your video yet, just read the post. I identify with every word you wrote. I’ve been married 19 years and have three sons – 11, 9, and 3. All bright boys, but were unbelievably difficult infants and toddlers. NO SLEEP. SCREAMING. OPINIONS. ASD child. One with type 1 diabetes. The third (and last) boy is healthy, but struggles with jerk-syndrome. I adore them all and would lay my life down for them. It hasn’t been easy, but like you, time has helped. Natural maturation occurs with the kids, I’ve learned the ropes. BUT, some women don’t have this experience because their babies actually sleep at night, take naps on occasion, are agreeable to wearing clothes and eating food. I’ve not experienced an infant or toddler like that.

    Great post.

  • Kathy

    I have 2 different experiences.

    I was married to a man and had my first child at 20. It was overwhelming because I had no family support and no help from my husband. I didn’t bond with my son until he was about 8 years old. In hind sight I know I just needed someone to parent with me instead of me doing it alone even though I was married. He was a bastard who never washed a dish or changed a diaper.

    Now I have a lovely wife and we have an almost 3 year old daughter. Having a baby at 32 is a lot different than having one at 20. My father passed away when the baby was 6 weeks old and plunged me into severe postpartum depression. Thankfully I sought help. I’m still on medication and I don’t mind because the alternative is pretty scary.

    Parenting is hard, but having a supportive partner can make all the difference in the world.

  • The fall-in-love hormones kicked in right away when my daughter was born and, actually, I often felt like my husband was the interloper in our tight little twosome. What’s funny (not ha-ha) about that was I was originally afraid of how having a child would interfere with our *perfect* marriage. It was interesting to me how quickly I threw him over for this tiny, blonde infant.

    Now, equilibrium has been restored and my husband and I are back on track. The daughter is well-loved by both of us and is often considered the interloper when her father and I are trying to … have a tickle fight.

  • Hell yes motherhood is harder. Holy crap. Not only do you have to learn how to live with someone, you have to learn how to live with them while also being responsible for their safety, moral upbringing, and health. That’s pretty freaking difficult sometimes.

  • Well, since I’m dealing with some intense marital issues right now, I’ll say marriage. I’ve not had a hard time per se with being a parent. I was told for a while that I wouldn’t be able to have children, so when I did finally get pregnant, it was a miracle.

    I find parenting a wonderful, scary and fantastic thing. I want to make sure he’s taken care of and put him first always.

    I feel like my marriage is difficult to sustain. My husband lost his mother at 60 years old to cancer last year and he’s been different ever since. Just recently, we’ve been dealing with some serious problems and he’s going to be starting therapy this week and me possibly next week. We can’t seem to talk to each other without me getting upset. It’s hard not to get upset when the one you love tells you they don’t like the way you look anymore and they they’ve lost interest in sex. Sigh…

    Wow. I didn’t intend on spilling my guts and several times now I’ve considered not posting this, but damn it…I have to let it out.

  • I come from a big family and, as an adult, have come to feel that my parents made many, many terrible mistakes with each and every one of us. So much so that I’m afraid of making the same mistakes and have chosen not to have children, in part because of those fears. It’s not the only reason, but it’s a definite factor: parenting looks super hard. Marriage, on the other hand, has been relatively easy. Yes, we argue sometimes, but only over stupid things. When we start fighting about stuff that matters, then I’ll worry.

  • I’ve been married since I was a zygote myself and have yet to spawn, much to my impatient parents’ dismay. I am at once terrified and excited to become a mom one day, but I can honestly say that I think it will be a little easier for me because of women like you who have been brave enough to speak up about the realities and hardships of parenting. I really appreciate your blog and I am in awe of your ability to take such serious topics and make them funny, while retaining a level of tenderness. Thanks for letting us future moms know what we can expect – both amazing and difficult.

  • Heather…thank you for continuting to say it out loud. For some of us, being a parent is hard. Wondering when the “real” mommy of this newborn is coming to take it back! Thinking, surely there is an end to this and my real life will come back. For me that was 3 1/2 years ago, and I still have days when I think I’m not cut out for this, but many more days now when I can make it through the day/week like parenting is SO natural. The first 6 months of my daughter’s life, I could only focus on her survival, the love came later. The second child, it was easier. I knew what was coming, and although that didn’t mean the baby blues didn’t hit me, it was better. But I still love the looks I get when other moms say “Isn’t being a mom wonderful?” and I say “no”!

    The key to marriage is being married to the right person!

    (After writing that, it sounds like there’s cause to call CPS! Hope not.)

  • I’m 21 years into my marriage and we chose not to have children. I honestly believe that is why I am 21 years into my marriage!

  • nelking

    Neither one is harder per se. They just are what that are at any given point in time.

  • SDDustbunny

    For me it depends on what time of day it is. There were times when my marriage was (and even after divorce sometimes still is) the most infinitely frustating thing EVER. But, and this is just my twisted thinking, I always knew that worst case scenario I could walk away from the marriage….Like flushing the goldfish that didn’t quite make it.
    Motherhood is FOREVER. My girls could not possibly be more different from eachother. I take solice in the days where they surprise me by being these beautifully sensitive kind giving loving creatures, and I am amazed and incredibly proud to be a part of their lives. That of course is before their skin peels back revealing the angry beast underneath who shrieks “I-hate-peanut-butter-how-could-you-not-know-you-don’t-love-me”…..where was I?

  • Motherhood is much harder and marriage is hard enough.
    A friend of mine says that parenting is a make work project. You give them enough baggage that will take a lifetime of work to get rid of.
    Motherhood has been much more of an incentive for personal growth. Not sure I would have done it without it.

  • Heather S

    I LOVE today’s picture of Chuck!

  • Katie

    I’m with you that parenthood is definitely harder than marriage. And I think I’ve got a great marriage. It’s not that we haven’t had our bad days, our trials, our issues to work through (some requiring therapy) but that it’s not nearly as difficult as the daily grind with two small children who require your constant attention and, first few years, need you for practically everything. Husbands are not nearly so needy (give them food, sex, time alone with you, and time away from the family to do their own thing and they are pretty damn happy). But, I must say, I find parenthood much more rewarding. I love my husband but I love my children more. And I hope he loves them more than he loves me.

  • Sus

    Ya know….up until last year when my 37 yr old youngest son was arrested and imprisoned for 40 years for molesting our grandaughter….I would have said that marriage was more difficult.

    This is said to let everyone who is still in the throes of young motherhood that it just never goes away, it is always with you. Sometimes it is worse to be an “old” mother……..

    The hardest thing for me right now is there is no one to talk with about this….my husband and other two children and I have talked a lot but trying to find a third party who might be able to give insight is nye on impossible. It is even hard to find a therapist who has any experience with parents of someone who would do this heinous thing to his own daughter.

  • Whoa! Parenting is {WAY} harder! So much of it – like 85% – just completely sucks. It’s only that other 15% that even remotely makes it possible. Marriage? Piece of cake. Although I do have to agree with another poster in that I think it’s easy because I’m married to a man who makes it easy. There’s very little strife in our relationship. I waited until I was nearly 30 to get married. Just to make sure I didn’t screw it up. Parenting? There are still some days when I question whether even considering it means we’ve lost control of our faculties. So. Hard.

  • sarah

    Absolutely and without a doubt motherhood (parenthood) is harder than marriage. I can always drive out to the desert and leave my husband by the side of the road, but the police (and civil society) seem to frown on that if done to children despite the millionth hour of non-stop whining.

  • Vee

    I wouldn’t say marriage has been easy because I had to give up my happy life in England and emigrate halfway around the world to be with my husband, and 6 weeks after I got there ended up checking myself into therapy because there was too much change going on and I wasn’t sure of how I was dealing with it. Now that I’m pregnant, I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with that either, but I’m hoping that instincts will kick in, but like you I have ZERO experience with children. Incidentally I found out I was pregnant two weeks after I emigrated. It appears that I never do things by halves 😉

  • Anonymous

    Ilove my husband. He is my best friend and I truly enjoy his company. He is also difficult, pushes my buttons, crazy, loving, seriously flawed, funny, supportive, gentle,sexy and completely frustrating. I love my son. He makes my world make sense. He is perfect, demanding, naughty, funny, selfish, bright and wears me out emotionally and physically on the regular basis. Marriage is SO much harder than motherhood.

  • I am one of “those” women who did the kiddo thing before the marriage thing. And I was only 19 at the time. And at a catholic college. (wonder why my parents were less than thrilled!)

    We decided to concentrate on being parents and then get married only if we wanted to. 17 happily married years later (with a 19 and 15 yr old) I think we made the right decision!

    Marriage has been hard especially since I was only 21 when we took the plunge. But it has been NOTHING nearly as hard as being a mom.

    Both my kiddos were born seriosulsy ill and were hospitalized for a long time. Fast forward to healthy teenage boys driving me out of my mind with attitude and stress and even some fear at times (why must they ride in cars with stupid people?) and I can assure you that being a mom has been soooo much harder than being a wife.

    My husband is an awesome man but he has NEVER and I mean NEVER made me feel like my hard is being ripped out of my chest and stomped into a million pieces. Nor has he ever made me pray to God so much to give him guidance in making decisions like I have with for my kiddos.

    Being a mom is the HARDEST job I will ever love.

    Hallie
    http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/

  • Laura

    OMG – motherhood totally kicks my ass every single day. There is not a day that goes by in my roll as mother that I do not question my aptitude for that title. I love my kids, but being a mother is soooooo much more difficult than being a wife. Yes I sometimes do feel like my husband is child #3, especially when I have to explain why clothes need to go in the hamper, not in a pile next to the hamper, but my relationship with him takes so much less effort than that with my children.