the smell of my desperation has become a stench

OY VEY custom onesie

Natalie, the owner of the Onesie-Twosie Etsy shop, sent over this custom onesie for the baby, and my first thought was, oh my god, she’s going to be that small? Natalie’s shop is full of custom onesies and toddler tees that would make great baby shower gifts, although I doubt the kid will know to spare this one from the constant stream of projectile poop that is so common with persons of that age. Which reminds me, our lives will once again be consumed with the color and consistency of someone else’s bowel movements. Very important work, parenthood.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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