the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Eliminating checked baggage

Ever since the FAA instated regulations on the amount of liquid you can carry onboard an airplane, I’ve been having to check at least one piece of luggage every time I fly because of all my hair-care products. I just haven’t been organized enough to find three-ounce containers for everything, at least not until last week when I accidentally stumbled upon these at our grocery store. These are going to make the next month SO MUCH EASIER. So I bought several bottles and then used our label maker to clearly mark each bottle of liquid. Otherwise, I can imagine the security guy at the airport looking at the x-ray scan of my carry-on going, dude, what is that woman doing with five bottles of semen in her luggage?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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