the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Nameless Baby Armstrong

Jon: “What about Alexandra?”

Me: “Oooh, I like it!”

Jon: “FINALLY! That’s the first time I’ve suggested a name that you like.”

Me: “Because that’s the first time you’ve ever suggested a name!”

Jon: “That’s not true.”

Me: “Oh, yes it is! Go ahead, list off all the names you’ve suggested.”

Jon: “I’ve suggested plenty.”


Jon: “There was …”

Me: “…”

Jon: “… um …”

Me: “Jon …”

Jon: “… let’s see … um …”

Me: “You are totally proving my point.”

Jon: “I can’t think straight when you’re being mean.”

Me: “This is not mean. Mean is when I tell our daughter that her father was so uninterested in her that HE ONLY SUGGESTED ONE NAME.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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