the smell of my desperation has become a stench

As sophisticated as I get

You will find no more ignorant person than Heather Armstrong when it comes to wine, how to pick and pair it with food and whatnot, so when shopping for it I always look at the score. Wine Spectator gave this Cupcake Chardonnay 88 points, and since I figure they might know what they are talking about — I mean, they SPECTATE WINES, who could be more qualified to score wine, right? Certainly not just a wine LOOKER — I threw this sucker into the basket and then showed the lovely state-run liquor store employee my ID and called it good. Paired it with grilled chicken and then stared at the adorable label. And behold, it was good.

Afterward we rubbed our full bellies and talked about what a fancy time we done just had. 88 points worth of a time!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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