Me: “Hey, do you want to go over some of the names people suggested for your fish?”
Leta: “People really left suggestions? REALLY?! YEAH! I wanna see!”
Me: “Okay, here. Let me read some of them to you and you pipe up when you like one, okay?”
Leta: “OKAY!”
Me: “Larry… Al—”
Leta: “Larry? What does that even mean?”
Me: “That’s just the first suggestion, Leta. We’re gonna be here all day if you—”
Leta: “But I’ve never even heard of a Larry.”
Me: “Larry has probably never heard of a Leta.”
Leta: “Okay, whatever. Keep going.”
Me: “Thank you. Alright, where were we? Albert… Miss Havisham…”
Leta: “Havasha-whah??!”
Me: “LETA.”
Leta: “OKAY.”
Me: “Sparkles… Fred… Prudence… Omar… Ahab… Florence… Nemo… Moby… Bruce… Turtle… hey.. I like that. Turtle.”
Leta: “Turtle? But it’s a fish. Turtle isn’t a name.”
Me: “Actually, turtle is the name FOR THE ANIMAL THAT IS A TURTLE.”
Leta: “Keep going.”
Me: “Okay… Che… Puddles… Scribbles… Silver… Mr. Limpet… oh, look. Someone here agrees with the name Turtle.”
Leta: “Come on, Mom. What else?”
Me: “Rosie… Lola… Scout… Claus… Miro… Sergeant… Fluffy… Zippy… (this continues for about ten minutes during which she says nothing and expresses no emotion)… ok. Leta, here is another person who thinks Turtle is a perfect name. In fact, a lot of people like that name.”
Leta: “Do you like that name?”
Me: “You know what, I do. I once had a friend who named her cat Chicken. I thought it was hilarious because that cat was scared as hell of everything and that probably makes no sense to you why am I allowed to talk to children?”
Leta: “Turtle… hm… Turtle…”
Me: “Listen. I don’t want to pressure you into anything. We can call that fish iCarly or SpongeBob if you want to.”
Leta: “No, I’ve thought about it. We went to that store to buy a turtle but we got a fish. Turtle will remind me of the day I met the fish. Let’s call him Turtle!”
Me: “Really? You want to go with Turtle?”
Leta: “Yeah. I like it. Turtle the fish!”
Me: “Can I tell everyone who suggested names that this is what you’ve decided?”
Leta: “Yes! And tell everyone who didn’t suggest Turtle that I’m sorry I have only one fish to name. It’s just, like, right now I can only handle ONE fish.”
Me: “I’ll tell them you said that. I think they’ll understand.”
From both me and Leta, thank you, everyone. Oh! And Turtle thanks you, too.
