the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Tweedledum and Tweedledee

There’s been some confusion as to what the relationship is between Dane and my assistant, and just so we’re all clear: John LaCaze is Dane’s father.

Just kidding. But seriously, he is. I’m starting that rumor now.

Dane’s been a good friend of John for a few years, and the moment we met him he instantly felt like family. In fact, my mother invited him over for Christmas and got him a present. She forgot my 24th birthday and yet she’ll get some strange kid a present for the holidays. MOTHER.

Dane attends the University of Utah and is in between apartments, so he’s staying in my basement for a bit. I didn’t even hesitate to say yes when he asked if that would be okay, I just had one request: LEAVE MY FOOD ALONE. That kid can eat about 4,000 calories for breakfast. What he can do to a bag of chips? Horrifying. My website might be able to employee two people, but it most certainly cannot keep him fed.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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