Email

From: Katy
Subject: drunken parenting?

Heather-
I was alarmed and disheartened upon reading that Jon was drunk and watching Jeopardy! in your home the other day. Do you really think it’s wise to be drunk while poor, little, defenseless Leta is in the house? And so what if she was asleep! What if she woke up and needed love and attention? Please be a responsible parent from now on in this situation. If you’re going to get drunk in the house while the child is there, please get the child drunk too, to ensure she passes out cold and will not wake up and need parenting.

Really, I would’ve thought you guys would have brains enough to have thought of this!

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Dooce Note: I guess this means I should stop snorting lines of coke off Leta’s belly?

Dooce Correction: Apparently I was drunk when I read this email and didn’t understand that Katy was joking when she suggested I get Leta drunk, too. Katy was trying to mimic the judgmental email I get from time to time, and she did it rather convincingly considering the tone of some of the judgmental email I get. Sorry, Katy! Wanna come over and get drunk while the baby sleeps?

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From: tracyj73@hotmail.com
Subject: hmmmm

Aren’t you so fucking special. You get my “Random person of the day to hate” award.

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Dooce Note: I am going to print this out, frame it and hang it on my wall next to by BYU diploma, they both mean that much to me.

Dooce “This is Fucking Awesome” Addendum: Rockstar sent the following email to Tracy:

“wow–you really have a ‘random person of the day to hate’ award? and you email each and every one of them to inform them of their selection? applause, my friend, for that takes hate dedication! do you post the recipient’s name on a wall next to your swastika mural while wearing your white hooded robe? i hope you spend as much time trolling the internet for people to hate-mail as you do killing puppies in front of young children.”

And I cannot stop laughing. Thank you, Rockstar!