Jon

Jon: Do you know how badly I’d love to buy your stepfather’s motorcycle?

Me: No. Never. Not gonna happen. NUH. UH.

Jon: But I’d just use it for fun—

Me: Jon, you know I love you, right?

Jon: Of course.

Me: That’s first on the list. Second, you’re my soul mate.

Jon: What has this got to do with—

Me: Third, you’re the father of my children.

Jon: Heather, what—

Me: Fourth, and although this is all the way down here on the list, it’s still an incredibly important fourth: I can’t run this business without you.

Jon: I appreciate—

Me: You die on a motorcycle, and I’m gonna have to wait tables.