the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Book
Podcast
Posts
About
Shop

Book
Podcast
Posts
About
Shop

the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Katey

Lily Bee

Baby G

With my little girls

Shibari Mini Halo
$27.95
Anker USB-C 60W Charger
$54.99
Luxe Bidet Neo 120
$59.95
Soviet Space Graphics: Cosmic Visions from the USSR
$39.33

Latest Pin

Latest Instagram

By the end of June my pain had become a typhoon of

By the end of June my pain had become a typhoon of ache
Joints in crooked shapes that don’t exist
And I had to resist an obsession with the worst

In November they misread my blood
I know I’m not the first
But this

This is a flood of agony

Please don’t yell at me

She touched my knuckle and rubbed my wrist
And I was wistful for as much as a finger on my hand
The warmth, the outline of her thumb as she scanned the map of my arm
The pressure of a sonogram hugging my elbow
Will anyone ever know the ache

To be touched in pain
How I hid the shake of my chest as she pressed into my knee
To see
To see

My skin and bones
They were all yellow
.
.
.
.
Took six months to get an appointment with a rheumatologist. Results are... hmm... trying to find the right word so that it’s not confusing...

I guess I’m just a bit devastated.

Thank you for sticking with me through all of this. You are all lovely humans.

❤️🦴

Copyright © HBA Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

dooce® is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com, and is also a RewardStyle, Shopsense, and Stitch Fix Affiliate.