the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Is your man feeling artistic?

I think I am subliminally and not so subliminally poking at everything that feels weird and creepy about the homogeneity of these Instagram accounts. It’s all the same, yes, but what makes it even more disturbing is it’s as if these people are not living an actual life. They are living in a room that is being professionally styled for a photograph that will be used to sell something to white people.

And so I absolutely could not resist the ukelele.

1. Floral Linen Necktie $62

2. Ray-Ban Clubmaster Sunglasses $145

3. Rib Knit Wool & Cashmere Beanie $26.46

4. Keel Boot $150

5. Woolrich Felt Mill Scuff Mule $35.45

6. Kala KA-15S Mahogany Soprano Ukulele $53.99

7. BAGGU Duffel Bag $82

8. Prospector Co. Burroughs Beard Oil $28

9. Orvis Tweed Baseball Cap $29

10. Teton Sports Deer Hunter Flannel Lined Sleeping Bag $138.16

11. Chemex Coffee Maker $46.90

12. Survival Pocket Multi-Tool $7.50

13. Vktech Canvas Backpack $28.90

14. Cactus Garden Desktop Plant $49.99

15. Kamp-Rite Double Tent Cot $217.45

16. Vosges Mo’s Milk Chocolate Bacon Bar $7.49

17. National Geographic 12-month Subscription $19

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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