– Agreed, Baby Pandas Are Cute. But Why?
– Photos of Australia’s historic summer heat wave
– Cures for the common cold: tips from the creative community
Soon, we will be able to crawl inside the precious apple of matrimony like maggot imposters, hungering for the sweet, nutritious flesh of traditional morality which we shall then poo out in the form of divorce settlements and contested custody of gender-confused children and miniature house pigs.
– David Sadaris reads a passage 50 Shades of Grey
– A reminder to wash your hands: Weekly US Map, Influenza Summary Update
– I AM CRYING: Drive-thru prank leaves workers questioning reality (thanks, Kate)
– I love these maps showing how long it took to travel across the US in the 1800s.
– What would happen if Marlo got anywhere near a xylophone.
A few of my favorite recent tweets:
If your relationship is going too well, just do a jigsaw puzzle together.
— Marie Colette (@MarieColette) January 7, 2013
There’s no I in anxiety. Wait. Yes there is. Oh my god oh my god oh my god
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) January 6, 2013
Hell is other people’s filenames.
— Geoff Barnes (@texburgher) January 4, 2013
By now we’ve all read the Bible cover-to-cover courtesy of our relatives’ decorative pillows, wall art and refrigerator magnets.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) January 11, 2013
“Why are we listening to someone trying to hurt themselves with a saxophone?”Stepdad does not like jazz.
— Stephanie (@CcSteff) December 25, 2012
A cold toilet seat is like coffee for your butt.
— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) December 30, 2012
“Car! Car! Car! Car! Car! Car! Car! Car! Car! Shoe! Car! Car! Car! Car! Car! Car! Car! Car! Car!” – drive to grocery store with toddler.
— Mauly Piller (@Pauly_Miller) January 2, 2013
So it seems to me trains could go way more places if we just took em off those tracks
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) December 30, 2012
Q: What’s your favorite cheese? A: Yes.
— braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) January 7, 2013
Dear naps, I’m sorry I was a jerk to you in kindergarten
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) December 29, 2012
My wife thinks it’s weird I blurted out “I wasn’t thinking about Jason Statham!” after we made love. What? I just wanted her to know.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) January 10, 2013