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Things I Plan to Cook With My Newly Obtained Kitchen Aid That I’m Not Sure How to Use

1. Betty Crocker Supreme cookie bar mix that I will pass off as homemade chocolate chip cookies made from scratch. 2. Canned chili 3. Barbecue ribs 4. Orange juice 5. Popsicles 6. Cheerios 7. Microwavable frozen enchiladas packaged by our friends at The Old El Paso. 8. Quaker Instant Oatmeal 9. Toast 10. Peanut butter [...]

Thinking

Your cat is dumb and ugly.

Listening

The Donnas: Turn 21

Reading

Fox Defends Airing Of When Jews Attack

How to Charm Me

Understand that Texans cannot, will not, and should not be considered real Southerners.

How to Annoy Me

Restructure the company and expect me to care.