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A Few Ways You Might Not Want to Spend a Holiday Weekend

Carry out a successful hit and run: Back your friend’s Ford Explorer into a Jeep Wrangler that belongs to a large angry woman. She will jump out of the driver’s seat and threaten to kick your � hmm, let’s see, how would she put it � “skinny white ass.” Refuse to get out of the [...]


Spain: She Haunts My Dreams

Feeling Guilty

For not remembering which dead president I’m supposed to celebrate. There are just so many.

How to Charm Me

Deny that you’re stoned when you’re, like, really really stoned.

How to Annoy Me

Tell me that there’s no good reason I should be constipated. Do I really need a good reason?