• http://www.shiningsinners.com Edsmonkey

    Ya know a fart is just a poop honking for the right of way….

  • John

    Thank you for that.

  • rangergirl

    the funniest story i’ve ever read! keep it coming dooce, keep it coming.

  • Anonymous

    That was really hilarious.

  • http://paulsboutique.blogspot.com Paul Gutman

    Just in time for Thanksgiving!!

    And yes, your description of everyone laughing at the farts made me laugh like I was there. Except I’m a guy. And I’m sitting at my dad’s desk, rather than the bathroom.

  • ex southern babtist

    Too funny! Laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes.

  • http://www.mediasparkles.com/blog Vera

    So, do you think you’ll really stay in that stall until April?

  • http://aprilgem.com/log April

    Best post ever. I was laughing so hard, I almost farted.

  • se

    I am wiping tears from my eyes and beaming with pride to be a Pacific Northwestern woman. Do they laugh at farts in Utah?

  • Martin


  • http://qualitypeoples.com edmund b

    yes, very hilarious. i laughed hard. thankyou for that. my lunch thanks you for the digestion aid. you so funny, gurl. thank you.

  • http://www.hammerland.net Xanthan

    So would it be in appropriate to read this to my almost five year old? I mean, he is the prime audience for poop/fart/toot stories.

    But I fear he would be telling this at his Show & Tell on Monday. You think you’re a celebrity now, Dooce…

  • http://marcneedham.com Marc

    You should move to Seattle. I’ve always thought you kind of belonged there.

    I left a year or so ago and haven’t stopped pining since.

  • http://yeaaah jess

    ahahaha. oh dooce, you make things 10x more hilarious than they normally would be, and for this i love you. also, i don’t think anyone could make a fart post more prose-like. gotta love it.

  • http://www.lipsman.com Benjy

    Of course, were you still in L.A, it’d probably turn out that Jennifer Aniston or Sarah Michelle Gellar was the one who let out the fart!

  • Michele

    Thank you Dooce :) (as I wipe the tears from my eyes) No one tells a story like you do.
    As always you made my day :D

  • http://don'thaveone Thomas

    just a quick brain fart: glad that you’ve got the site up and running again.

  • Heather

    ha! i needed that. glad I discovered your site again. When’s the book coming out?

  • http://www.talkingcrow.com/blog/ rosebaby

    oh my god. i laughed until i got that sobbing feeling. monroe?! this has been the nicest fall in years, but when it’s glorious, it’s really glorious. happy turkey.

  • http://www.ninjarobot.com/shayna shayna

    funniest thing I’ve read in I don’t know how long!! my tummy muscles are sore! I’ll be laughing for quite a while on that one. I’m with ya on the giggling whenever “poop” or “fart” is mentioned, absolutely nothing funnier. I grew up in Seattle, and never truly realized how clean and kind and wonderful it is until I moved to LA. even downtown Seattle feels like a quaint little town after living in LA, especially during the holidays. enjoy it!

  • http://outoftune.org/em Em

    Oh my GOD, I was laughing about that for like five minutes straight. I could SO picture that situation in my head and it made me laugh so hard, considering your wording is always the best. Whew! *rushes back to read it again for another fit of giggles*

  • http://www3.telus.net/wysiwyg Ric

    Ah, if you think Seattle rocks, make a point of visiting Vancouver, the rootin’ tootin’ Canuck city a couple hours to the North.

  • Nora

    You must go to Volunteer Park at sunset and climb the water tower. Also must go to this little park that I can’t remember the name of on 3rd ave west a few blocks above Roy St, a few blocks below Galer on Queen Anne Hill – the most stunning view of downtown Seattle ever.

    I knew you’d love the light and the cloud formations here. Gorgeous, aint’ it?

  • PimpDadd73

    You are an EXCELLENT writer Dooce. ooh Seattle. ;-)

  • http://www.posterboy.org Shan

    Awww. Glad you are enjoying it there. ;)

  • http://arielmeadow.com/electrolicious Ariel

    Man, you just made me miss Seattle something super fierce. Seattle is heaven. I miss it so much.

  • http://www.hammerland.net Xanthan

    OK, it was so good I had to come read it again… after printing it for my wife to read. Dooce, this one contains your best bon mot yet: “It was a five-syllable fart, a cockadoodledo fart”

  • http://www.moveablebeast.com peggy

    You crack me up, woman. Heh. I said crack.

  • http://www.jennifermurray.net Jen

    I’m laughing so hard right now that my entire office knows I’m not working.

  • http://www.gutrumbles.com Acidman

    That was a beautiful story. I laughed so hard that I farted.


  • http://www.kaneblues.com/ kane

    Happy Thanksgiving, wherever you may be.

  • http://davin.dhs.org/chrissie/ chrissie

    so simple, yet so funny…

  • cmk

    o my gawd, heather, you are so very, very, funny!
    (as im sure that fart was.)

  • http://jakester.blogspot.com Jason

    What a great story! I am glad you are enjoying your trip to Seattle!

  • http://shyeyes.org shy

    geez… stuff like that never happens in toronto. (note to self: next time i visit seattle, remind myself to errupt a humongoid fart in crowded, public washroom.)

  • http://jungle.adventure.tripod.com Sammas

    Happy Thanskgiving!

    Great story… I nearly puked up my dinner laughing.

  • http://www.abbynormal.org Suicide Blonde

    That was the laugh I needed to round out my day! New reader here and I am enjoying your writing very much.

  • http://www.jazzyhands.com kathryn

    that is too funny. I can just imagine that woman hulking down in her cubicle, waiting for everybody to leave.

  • http://www.digitalcatharsis.com mightyjimbo

    nothing better than a good fart story. thanks so much!

  • http://www.pseudofamous.com paul

    i didn’t know chicks farted.

  • http://ben.studiom11.com/ funtimes

    That is basically my biggest fear. A fart, no matter how strategically placed or devised, will eventually embarrass itís owner. I like to think of farts as little presents from god. Stinky ass tainted presents.

  • jps

    Why the fuck are you going to Utah when you’ve discovered Seattle? You and Seattle deserve one another. Clearly, the town and our farting habits wear well on you. Just don’t tell many others, please.

  • comic book store guy

    best fart ever.

  • http://icepen.blogspot.com icepen

    I live in Oregon, and while I’ve heard some awfully funny farts in the can, I’ve never laughed. Anyway, you can see that you aren’t the only one who appreciates bathroom humor. Pottymouth rocks.

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/xaotica kim

    if it were me, i’d be happy they were laughing so i could laugh, too

  • http://www.colorlessgreenideas.blogspot.com Kim (a different one)

    It’s good to laugh at such things- it keeps people from getting overly-sauve and becoming unbearable.

    And, you know, it’s *farting*. hehe.

  • http://amindofamind.blogspot.com Naaman

    That was a great way to start off a Friday!

  • Ex-liontamer

    I thought only me and the Mrs. talked about poopin’ far too much without a todder around; boy, was I mistaken.

    I’d only been to Seattle once and I found it rather nice albeit damp.

  • http://alexthegirl.com alex

    i moved to seattle 3 years ago and am literally counting the days until i can move out. visiting is one thing, living here is another – especially if you’re foreign. but im not bitter. yes i am.

  • http://smivey.blogspot.com Smivey

    Shnoop, there’s this thing on the keyboard called a Return key. Try using it every once in a while.

    People who don’t use paragraph breaks, you suck.