Kiss me with your perfect, precious puppy breath.
Poop on the living room rug and then step in it.
Is it really that easy to confuse “Heifer” with “Heather” ?
The New Year: Newness Ends
For seriously considering naming my children after characters from The Dukes of Hazzard.
Forgive me for eating all of the crêpe we were supposed to share. I can be such a bitch.
Put Matthew McConaughey in front of a camera and require him to open his mouth.
1. An acute case of paranoia actually comes in quite handy. 2. There is at least one brand-named coffee shop within just .2 miles of any point in this city, and each and every employee behind the counter is good-looking enough to bone, not that you necessarily would, but you could. 3. Homeless people on [...]