• http://www.upsaid.com/krobb karen

    ah, that’s how parent visits are supposed to be. my mother checks all the cupboards to see if i’ve put the dishes in the right places. my theory is that if they can find something to fix, they still feel like you need them. if not, what good are they to you anymore?

  • http://www.antisocialdiva.com antisocial diva

    i totally agree with karen. they always have to find something, anything. i’ve experienced similar things – over and over.

  • http://mihow.com mihow

    Karen, I too agree. I think that’s why they also become so damn great at giving directions and letting you know what the weather’s gonna be like.

  • Sani

    I’m very afraid, because I’m a new father and I sound a lot like your dad. Anal-retentive to a major and extreme fault. I’m still pissed, because my girlfriend and son came back early from Kansas City and I didn’t get to vacuum or mop the floors in time and I will be grumpy until that happens. But I do not want my son posting something like your comment – not that your comment wasn’t well-deserved for you, just that I don’t want him to think of me as some freak waiting for him to fail. So please, people, tell me how to change.

  • april

    My dad is the same, only he bitches and moans the whole time. “I can’t believe your mother bought another knick-knack. Just ONE MORE THING I have to dust!” But yet, he never wants help because we won’t ‘do it right’.

  • http://www.thelittlesister.com debi

    Long time reader, first time poster. :)

    I completely agree with Karen. Parents just need to feel needed. You are lucky though. My dad does *nothing* at all. He will say he will do something and not do it. After months, someone else will do it and then.. “You did it wrong. I was going to do that.” Complain complain complain! Like.. Ok don’t tell me *I* did it wrong. At least *I* did it at all!!!! Aww.. :(

    Sani.. at least you have the smarts to realize you don’t want something like this for your family. I would just suggest trying not to be anal about things. Yes, you want the house to be clean but you know what? Your son will *LOVE YOU* whether the floor was mopped or not. He will love you if you didn’t dust today and he will love you if you did. So long as you show love he will know you love him and will love you back. I know it’s nice to have a clean house, it’s nice to be able to keep the floor clean and everything dusted – but that’s not the *most* important thing. Don’t sweat the small stuff. The floor can be cleaned later.

  • http://suburbanbliss.blogspot.com Melissa

    Think of it as a gift you’ve given your father. It obviously pleases him to do these things.

    And just think how clean the house is now that he’s gone. As a bonus the weeds have been pulled to!

    Happy Father’s Day!

  • http://travis.kroh.net trav

    You’re not a failure, because he would have found something no matter what you did–it’s just the way some people are. You could have rebuilt your house out of glass and windex and he probably would have found something to polish.

  • http://www.injust-spring.com Alex

    Hmm…sounds like your dad and my mom would get along famously.

  • Carla Beth

    It annoys me when people try to invalidate my feelings, thoughts, experiences by telling me things like, “Well, at least you HAVE a father, or at least you are STILL young, or at least something’s in place in your LIFE that makes your life so much better than mine and so will you PLEASE just appreciate what you have and stop pouting like a spoiled brat!” Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m NOT attempting to invalidate anyone here, which means YOU are probably not intentionally attempting to invalidate Dooce’s weed-pulling papa. After all, this post is in the spirit of sharing, correct? But like I said. How annoying.

  • http://farkleberries.blogspot.com the farkleberry

    Ah, fathers. The beings without whom we would not have sprung into existence, but who often make our lives miserable in the name of loving us. I too grew up with an obsessive, anal-retentive father with strong opinions diametrically opposite to my own. As a child, I was convinced he hated me. Now, as an adult, I love him dearly, and I know he loves me. But still can’t bear to stay at my parents’ house for more than one night – and he refuses to travel out to the Midwest from New York to see me. He still pisses me off royally sometimes, but I do cherish the moments I spend with him because after all, they’re temporary. The only words I can offer that may be of some comfort are “this too shall pass.” Good luck and best wishes, Dooce.

  • Jim

    When my mother visits, she will compulsively cook and clean and refuse to believe that we are adults.
    I invite the neighbors over to witness the “Crazy Sheila Show”. No end to the amusement there.

  • http://www.madhaiku.com hagran

    When he’s done at your house, can he come over to mine?

  • http://jde.blogspot.com julia

    for once, it’s a good thing my parents are messy.

  • http://appleshell.blogspot.com Appleshell

    I think your dad is my boyfriend. He wouldn’t happen to be 37 and named Jerry would he? I swear, I try and try to make that man happy and he will find the part I overlooked. I know how your feeling my dear.

  • eliza

    I’m to short to reach most of the things in our house, like the middle shelf in all of our kitchen cabinets and a stool is required to reach the laundry detergent, so my husband does most of the cleaning due to his frustrations with my supposed half-ass job. I like to call him my little (extra-tall) housekeeper… keep on cleaning while I bring home the turkey-baccon! :)

  • http://www.beltzner.ca/ifeelafel/archives/000226.html Mike

    About what you’ve been thinking recently: Mmmmmmm. Frosssssty. Sooo gooood. Borderline sinful, really. Wouldn’t've thought they’d let something so tempting exist in Mormanville, USA.

  • http://www.lipsman.com Benjy

    pretty off topic, but there’s a ghost that looks a lot like dooce for sale on ebay (bottom of the b&w photos): http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/
    eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=
    2931457201&category=1469

  • http://brittney.pitas.com brittney

    That’ll learn ya.

    Weeds are the work of the devil.

  • http://www.eddoandco.com eddeaux

    Why is it that we feel the need to impress our parents? Why do we hate to let them down? If my room is a little messy and my parents are over, I am always making excuses. If I haven’t changed the oil on time in my car and my dad asks about it, I feel like I have to lie or come up with some unbelievable reason as to why I haven’t had it done. And don’t even get me started when he asks me about money… He has always been AMAZING at managing his and has always offered to help me manage mine, but I am 27 for crying out loud- and I have overdraft protection, who cares if it costs me 25.00 for a 3.00 check.

  • Crumpet

    No house will EVER be clean enough for your parents.

    I could live in an empty plastic bubble, and my dad would stil be sniffing about the way I live.

    Let them clean/fix stuff/weed when they visit. It makes dads feel needed.

  • http://www.brochspot.com/blog Broch

    A fathers work is never done, how true, how true. Even after the passing of my father, I still find little notes that he left everywhere to remind all of us the way he did things. Yes, annoying as HELL! They do bring about great memories though.