Today is the first day in over a week that I have been able to walk around and perform normal human procedures without wanting to puke my spleen through my nose, and you’d think I had taken several shots of ecstasy what with the smile on my face and lilt in my step. I’d forgotten [...]
Sign up for a reality television show and then complain about the situations you’re being put in. You’d better eat those cow intestines with a smile on your face, motherfucker.
Wiggle your fingers in glee as we discover we scored tickets to Radiohead!
For blaming my husband’s sperm on the fact that I’m so sick I can’t eat bologna. HE DID THIS TO ME!
I still think Martha Stewart could kick Bob Vila’s ass any day of the week.
What has to be the most disappointing album in recent history, Liz Phair: Liz Phair. No, seriously, I know I’m pregnant and all, but it’s so bad that I’m crying.