Under your thumb
I know that I’ll probably have a little more insight into this when I finally give birth and am able to hold my own child in my arms, but right now, now as I can barely sit up straight without feeling the thump thump thump of my heart in my ears as it signals the [...]
For telling my 10-yr old niece that if she didn’t do what I told her to do then a tornado would come and take her away. I’m obviously going to be a great mom.
Insert the phrase “Know what I’m saying?” in between every word of a five word sentence.
Argue with yourself in the shower, again and again, over whether or not it’s “Yo” or “Yao.”
EVERYTHING SMELLS BAD.
The Museum of Anti-Alcohol Posters (via coudal)
According to this scientific study, I must be pregnant with 15 boys.
Think for ONE second that I won’t bite your hand off if you reach over here and grab one of my french fries.