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On being an adult

The dickhead who came up with the time change obviously didn’t have any children because while everyone else got to sleep an extra hour we were awakened at 5 fucking 45 AM by the alarm clock that goes off in Leta’s head. Oh, cruel, cruel world. (Yes, I did just call Benjamin Franklin a dickhead.)

Leta Frog

It’s been snowing all day long and our cable modem has been out until just right now (2:49 PM, BASTARDS!). Could she have been anything else for Halloween? I DIDN’T THINK SO.

Squawk! Vol. 2

Thinking

When I save a number to memory on the cordless phone it flashes up the words, “THIS NUMBER HAS BEEN SAVED!” As if the number has a soul that has accepted Christ as its personal savior. SO. FUCKING. WEIRD.

A Sneak Peek

Oh! The Halloween fun to come!

How to Charm Me

Forgive me for punching you in the nads. I honestly didn’t think I would connect!

Squawk!

Yes, our house has been claimed by the Mighty Bright Plastic Overlords.

Can you hear me now?

My father and I talked about movies earlier today over the phone, and at one point in the conversation he asked me, “Do you ever watch your DVDs with the subtitles turned on, just so that you don’t miss anything they’re saying?” And I tried to hold in my laughter but I couldn’t because that [...]

How to Annoy Me

Flap your arms like a migrating duck as I try to put your coat on. HOLD STILL, KID, or you’re going to take flight.

Give me back the lens cap, Scooter