I’ll get this whole thing into my mouth so help me God

Yes, this is the fourth picture in a row of that kid. I can’t help it.

  • Colleen from NJ

    my 2.5 year old boy, Ian, has the hots for Leta. “Baby eats an apple…whoooooaaaa,” he told me.

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    re: the “charm me” post from today–As charming as it is, maybe you should have Jon checked out for that problem.

    For all those quoting The Christmas Story: “Oooh, fraGEEElay, must be Italian!”

  • http://ladybug4791.tripod.com/ladybug/ LadyBug

    Ooh, I loooove The Christmas Story!
    I give it an “A plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus….” (ad infinitum)

    Adorable Leta, as always, Heather.

    FISH, how much longer until you and Mrs. Fish have your little guppy?

  • Sheryl

    Leta as adult: I have since heard of people under extreme duress speaking in strange tongues. I became conscious that a steady torrent of obscenities and swearing of all kinds was pouring out of me as I scre heeee heeee heeeeamed.

  • Leon

    Now, I haven’t had a Flinstones Chewable Vitamin or a Children’s Tylenol (or whatever that thing is) in a long time, but have they really gotten that big? I guess it’s just like anything else – boobies, SUV’s, wedding rings, egos etc.

    …..damn I’m old

    Much applause to Girl A and Andy for stealing my Matrix/Christmas Story brain waves before I could get them posted down


  • http://jenandtonic.ca jenB

    i never tire of leta photos :-)

  • Dana

    We bought a D70 this weekend I’m sooooo excited!! (not that my pics will be anything close to yours).

    Thanks for your honesty RE: depression, I’ve brushed that place and it’s a horror.

  • Tracy

    Obviously, someone triple-dog-dared Leta to see whether the whole thing would fit. Someday, it’ll be her out in the schoolyard with her tongue stuck on a pole.

  • http://chloeishere.diaryland.com/ Chloe

    Come on, Leta! You can do it!
    (Just don’t choke on it.)

  • http://www.smoochdog.com Michelle

    I love Leta. She is the goddess of adorableness. But as a reader who does not have children I say out loud


    LOL Have a great day!

  • Carol

    I LOVE A Christmas Story and the “fra-geee-lay” part is our favorite.

    It’s almost time to get that video out again.

    “you’ll shoot your eye out!!” and the bumpus hounds are good too.

    Yes, Fish when is the guppy coming? Have you taken the full belliness pic yet?

  • Katy

    Ladybug and Carol, Mrs. Fish’s remaining days as preggo is the first thing you see when you click on his name on his posts.

  • doonesbury

    Sheryl – ha!
    I am watching A Christmas Story on dvd this afternoon with my GF.
    “…conscious of a steady torrent of obscenities and swearing of all kinds was pouring out of me…”

    Just recognized this from your post-
    Do you know every line in Christmas Story?!

  • http://shenuts.com Sarcastic Journalist

    Said in the best Homer Simpson voice: “Ummmmm….blocks.”

  • Cate

    Um, so nobody shoot me or anything…And just let me preface by saying Leta is adorable with her big dark eyes and squidgy face…but I can totally see how someone would mistake her for a boy. I’m not saying she looks like a boy to me, but that I can see where the mistake could be made.

    Do I need to kiss some serious butt now?

  • Neil

    Cate – all babies are pretty androgenous looking. You’re probably thinking Leta’s shirt is not feminine.
    But seriously, what an inane and dumbass comment. On par with “I’m first!” Ok, worse. Are you in junior high yet?

  • Neil

    Cate, how did I do? Was that the kind of response you were looking for?

  • victoria

    Cate, she looks like a boy to me, too. As far as I can tell, girls sometimes look like boys and vice versa at that age. What’s the big deal?

  • victoria

    Oh, and Neil? It’s “androgynous,” not “androgenous.”

  • Cate

    Oh, so you were just playing to what you thought my expectations were? Cute, Neil. Really.

    I know babies are rather androgynous looking. And it’s not a big deal. But whenever dooce talks about someone mistaking Leta for a boy, nobody else comes out and says “Yeah, I see how that could happen.” Instead it’s all “How could they?! When Leta is so obviously the most adorable darling baby *girl* there ever was. What a cretin for thinking she was a boy.” So I was just going for a less adulatory, more honest approach to commenting.

  • Amanda B.

    Leta is a hoot. I wonder if she’ll go through a silly putty eating phase like I, uh, I mean my brother did.

    What?!? I would soooooo marry Gene Wilder if I didn’t already have an old man. Have you not seen Blazing Saddles? Young Frankenstien?

  • http://www.knottyyarn.com Alaska Danielle

    True Story:

    I met the Yeah Yeah Yeahs backstage at a festival this fall. I had never heard of them before, because I live under a fucking rock. My friend described the music, sort of, and said that he’s sure the lead singer was a cheerleader in a former life based on her onstage presence. I spent most of my backstage time psuedo-stalking Richard Butler of the Psychadelic Furs and John Doe of X; when I ran into the Yeah Yeah Yeahs (as I stood craning my neck to find Mr. Butler and John Doe) my reaction was so grandmotherly I wanted to die:

    Me: “So what band are you with, dear?”
    Guitarist Dude: “The Yeah Yeah Yeahs.”
    Me: “Oh, didn’t you just play on stage? I’d never heard of you. You were darling. Really gave it your all.”
    Guitarist Dude: “Errr….yeahthanks.”
    Singer Lady: klaj0ep-=vjk3-30 !
    (She said something completely indecipherable and looked at me like she was about to stab me or put out a cigarette in my eye)

    I also met those Franz Ferdinand kids, whom I kept referring to as Franco American. They humored me.

    There really isn’t a moral to this story, but the image of you singing like the cheerleader stabby chick made me giggle.

  • Neil

    [Victoria, lol, good point! Must remember to spell-check my flames, even if they are special requests like this one was.]

    Taking literally a mother’s comments about the dearest thing in their lives, one way or another, is just… well, ridiculous. Whether it is adulatory or nit-picking the rationale. Dooce’s a freakin mother, that is a force to be reckoned with.The Golden Rule is for interacting with others, for crap’s sake – not for telling stories if you want your readers to remain in a waking state.

    I just thought it was funny how you posted and were all like bending over and looking over your shoulder: now you can kick my butt.
    Hint: it would make for better reading if you said: Leta looks like a freakin boy in that shirt!
    That’s right and *some people* probably wouldn’t hesitate to title a picture “I Dressed Her As A Boy This Morning So I Could Screw With The People At The Post Office!”

  • eco2geek

    Amanda B.:

    That’s Fran’-ken-stein.

  • Sheryl

    Hey Amanda B!
    I lurve Young Frankenstein! I remember seeing World’s Greatest Lover and the Woman in Red at the The Foxy Cinema. When I was growing up, Gene Wilder movies used to make me peee heee heee my pants. Ok, that part wasn’t so great – borrowing my sister’s sweatshirt to wrap around my waist so I could leave the movie theatre. But Mister Wilder is hysterical no matter how you spell Frak-nin-stine

  • Danika

    I find it funny that everyone compares her to Jon and how much she looks like him but then are like Dooce should be pissed about that one person calling her a boy. I mean uhh Jon is a man right? So why wouldn’t Leta who apparently looks like him be confused as a boy?

    Personally I think is some pictures she has looked like a boy and in others a girl. Like Neil pointed out… babies look pretty androgynous.

    I still think she is very cute. Although I don’t see her looking more like Jon or Heather.

  • Cate

    You’re right, Neil. I was being rather diffident. I’ll stop that right away. I was just a little afraid of pissing off the “All hail, dooce!” crowd. I mean, I love dooce and all – why else would I be here – but seriously, sometimes it’s like an epidemic of yes-men around here.

    Leta totally looks like a boy in that t-shirt!

  • Cate

    Plus, I’m bored and wishing I weren’t chained to a desk. A work week this short, why should I have to work at all? I’d rather be home getting started on that whole feasting thing. And drinking.

  • eco2geek

    “I am not a Frankenstein. I’m a Fronkensteen. Don’t give me that. I don’t believe in fate. And I won’t say it.”

    “Igor, would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?”

    “And you won’t be angry?”

    “I will NOT be angry.”

    “Abby someone.”

    “Abby someone. Abby who?”

    “Abby Normal.”

    “Abby Normal?”

    “I’m almost sure that was the name.”

    “Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA? IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE TELLING ME?”

  • Sheryl

    Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: HE’S GOT A ROTTEN BRAIN! IT’S ROTTEN, I TELL YA! ROTTEN!
    The Monster: RAAAAAAAA!
    Igor: Ixnay on the ottenray.

  • Neil

    Cate, you’re chained to your desk? Now that is interesting.

  • eco2geek

    Interesting. IMDB.com has “memorable quotes”:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072431/quotes from movies.

  • victoria

    I just realized I may have made a mistaken assumption: I had concluded that dooce did NOT take offense when people thought Leta was a boy.

    I reached this conclusion based on the assumption that if dooce wanted to forestall the whole mistaken-sex problem, she would dress Leta in frilly dresses or pink onesies. But instead of trying to prevent confusion, she seems to enjoy watching strangers squirm as they play “guess the baby’s gender.”

    But everyone else in the comments section seems to assume that saying a baby girl looks like a boy is the most offensive comment any person could make to any mother.

    If you folks are right, and I’m wrong, then dooce, please accept my sincere apologies.

  • http://www.edgeofbone.com/wedding Amanda B.

    What up Sheryl and eco2geek!

    “No matter how cruely I beg…DO NOT open this door.”

    Leta looks like a baby to me. Actually in this pic she sorta looks like Mel Torme. And we all know she doesn’t *look* like Mel Torme. Chill out yo.

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    25 days and counting, thanks for asking.

    Dooce: we had a name all picked out for our kid, but now we’re going to name him “el Senor Loco Jumping Bean”, because of the way he beats the living crap out of my wife’s innards. It made me think back to all your posts last year about Leta having her feet securely wedged between your pancreas and your spleen. Good times.

    All you Gene Wilder fans, (especially Amanda B with her bizarre but strangely intriguing crush on him): You’re cracked. Everyone knows the real star of “Charlie” was Augustus Gloop. I betcha that guy switch straight from swilling liquid chocolate to swilling Yukon Jack once he got out of that damned factory.

  • eco2geek

    All I know is that there are certain questions that, as a guy, you should *never* ask women. Such as,

    “Are you pregnant?”

    and, without knowing,

    “What a cute baby boy!”

    (I have only said _one_ of these things, to my lasting embarrassment.)

  • Sheryl

    Let me outta here! I was joikng, didn’t you know that? If you don’t let me out, I’m gonna beat your heads in!” (paraphrasing – I’m on the train, using my blackberry)

    Yo yo yo Amanda B
    Kick it ova here babypup and let all the fly skimmies feel tha BEAT!

    So I’m not a mom or anything. So take that into acct when you read this: I don’t think I would care if someone got my baby’s gender wrong. I studied painting in college and you would not believe the crazy ass shite people would imagine they saw in my work, and every now and then they would say something interesting that would change my own perceptions. I liked it. But I didn’t give birth to it, so who knows? Not having the hormones nor carrying the torch of human civilization, the whole projection thing is just kinda interesting to me. Says more about the frame of mind of the speaker than the subject. Know whattimean?

    Now if the kid was like 6 and didn’t like the comment, I might have to kick some mofo ass. Aight.

  • kp

    that last entry (about the liz phair song) made me cry. a lot of shit happened this year and i had convinced myself to just give up hope and not really expect anything great ever, but goddammit, dooce, you force hope down my throat.

  • http://www.edgeofbone.com/wedding Amanda B.

    All I’m saying is that if I had to pick the freakiest thing in that movie it would be the godforsaken Oompas. *shiver*

    I would so be the secret ingredient in a Gene Wilder/Mel Brooks sam-ich.

    I once asked a girl (who’d had her baby 2 months earlier) when she was due. Bad mojo.

    Countdown to babyFish!

  • http://www.edgeofbone.com/wedding Amanda B.

    KP- sorry. I didn’t mean to post my goofy-talk right after you got through saying you were having a tough time.

    I’m a goober. :)

  • http://www.dooce.com dooce

    dudes. she looks just like her father. OF COURSE she looks like a boy. don’t most babies look like boys? i hate frilly things myself so I impose that taste on her. she’s not allowed to wear frilly things however hard my mother tries and forces it upon her.

    when she’s 18 she can wear frilly, but not in ma house she ain’t!

    (to summarize: no offense taken when she is mistaken for a boy, except for when I correct the person AND THEY STILL refer to her as “fella.” those persons deserve to be 9 months pregnant FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.)

  • GMM

    Forget being first. I get to post right after Heather herself!!

  • Sheryl

    KP, don’t let go.
    I’ve really struggled with keeping any sort of faith beyond my own self, but somehow I never let hope drift further than I could swim to from my raft.

    I consider myself a *realistic pessimist*. Probability dictates that good things have to happen on occasion. And even that good things can sometimes last. Peace to you.

  • Sheryl

    P.S. KP, sometimes Hope drifted back to me on its own, when I had let go or was too tired to swim.

  • http://www.ximena.blog-city.com Super Turtle Girl

    I just read through all the comments and I realized that a lot of people are reading through the comments. Is this some kind of bizarre cultural phenomenon–the comment community?….I love the idea of a community forming around something so transitory and specific.

    On a related note, you people do not understand babies. We are not so foolish to believe that these objects will fit entirely into our mouths. We are merely training our jaws to stretch to their maximum capacity. With time, we will be able to create greater and greater clearance. Like yoga, only different. Cleans out the chakras and stuff. It’s a baby thing. You wouldn’t understand.

    (She says, as the little comment community fades into archives.)

  • http://www.soundque.com coskel

    I used to know a girl in high school who could put her whole fist in her mouth…I was SO unaware of why the guys all thought that was so amazing.

    On a totally unrelated note…Heather, thanks for the post about finding your mate. If only, and I sure hope so.

    - who is NOT looking forward to more holidays alone.

  • Molly

    Great picture, as usual..

    You TOTALLY need to check out this bitchin’ site!


  • Carol

    Are you fucking kidding me?? I LOVE Liz Phair! If you haven’t seen her live, you have to! She is so awesome.

    OK, that’s all.

  • http://www.edgeofbone.com/wedding Amanda B.

    500 times? A day?

    Oh yeah?! Well, I so got up off of the bed to change the channel on the t.v. because I could not locate my remote.

    So there you go Ms. Tiny-thigh, Toned-ass woman.

  • Molly

    Hey, Amanda B. there is an Oompa who lives in Milwaukee! I ran into him once at the Toys R Us.. he was only about 4 feet tall.. and my Sister-in-law looks at me and says, “Hey! that’s the guy that was in the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie!” and then even louder says, “HE WAS AN OOMPA LOOMPA!” He just looked at us smiled, waved, and continued shopping..