Three days of being a single mother, HOW DO YOU PEOPLE DO THIS?

I’m currently at my mother’s house where the connection to the Internet is intermittent and sketchy. It is cold here and windy, like Mars but with snow. I am surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of festive ceramic pigs and MY GOD THE SANTA CLAUSES. One Santa Claus is waving an American flag. Another one is smoking a pretty fat doobie. I don’t think my mother realizes this. I might stash it and take it home with me. It won’t be stealing; it’ll be protecting my mother from the impurity.

Jon is in Denver with friends. I miss him. I hope he has overcome the hangover by the time he returns this afternoon. I am sorry he feels bad, but I am so glad IT WASN’T ME this time throwing up and walking in crooked lines.

Leta turned 10 months old on Friday. Newsletter coming soon, I PROMISE, FOR CYRING OUT LOUD. I just need to return to Earth where there is wireless Internet access and booze.