Second Cousins

I like that you titled your last entry “maternal” milestones. You obviously understand that they are YOUR milestones to reach. Both of my kids (will leave boring details out for once) have developed late in some areas, but they always get there. The worry and emotional drain was mostly caused by me for me.
Usually, there’s no need to worry or feel bad. It will almost always work itself out. No matter what you do.

Dooce,
Yea, I want to join Heather and I’m sure many others in telling you things you already know, but our hearts hurt for you at the thought of how you felt at that party, so we can’t shut up:
1. That man didn’t know that most babies aren’t walking at 10 months.
2. He didn’t know that MANY babies aren’t crawling at 10 months, indeed many never crawl at all and grow up to be perfectly wonderful humans.
3. He didn’t know Leta and he didn’t know you, so his mistaken ideas of developmental milestones were the only “in” that he had to a conversation with the beautiful neighbor with the adorable baby.
4. ALL moms do have this happen sooner or later about some issue or other. I know that doesn’t change that horrible feeling it creates; I can’t even think of one single word that adquately describes that sad/angry/guilty feeling.
5. I choose to believe that most people who are hurtful in this way, out of absolute ignorance, really don’t intend to offend. Ignorance is just like that.

Since when were Armstrongs statistically average? Leta will be just fine.

Hmmmm – my wife and I had a baby on Tues and sod the crawling, he’s ruined our house without being able to move yet…

Am I last??

I am joining the chorus here. My son NEVER crawled. He refused point blank to stand on his legs and jig about. The most he ever managed was a slug like kind of roll from time to time. Otherwise he was content to stay put, observing and getting people to run around after him. Eventually he started dragging himself around the furniture when he was almost fourteen months old. So what? He walked. He is really smart and very cute and NORMAL.

In contrast his brother got up and ran at nine months, is severely autistic, didn’t speak until he was sixteen and will never lead an independent life.

Let’s hear it for slow walking, I say. I threw away my milestones book and felt happy with slug baby number two.

Please don’t do what I did with number one. I wasted his childhood standing around in hospital corridors waiting for people to be negative. That doesn’t help anyone.

Leta is lovely. She will be fine.

Much love

Ali

Great pic of GEORGE! and Leta. I have one, or actually, two questions though, is Leta a blonde or a redhead? And does GEORGE! know how popular he’s become?

I don’t comment often but I feel I had to due to your latest post. My daughter didn’t do a lot of things when she was supposed to as far as milestones go. Yet she’s now 4 years old and totally healthy. I fretted about a lot of things when she was a baby – everything from her eating habits to thumbsucking to why she didn’t craw at such-and-such age, and it really took away from the joy of being a first time mom. So the 2nd time around I decided to just not care about these milestones and enjoy every moment of my son’s infancy. It goes by so quickly. But I know how you feel. I totally do!

Nice photo. Love the light.

Last night I saw a commercial for the D70 and I turned to my husband and said, “that’s Dooce’s camera.” He affectionately called me a geek. He loves that I read Dooce’s and Fish’s and Karen’s blogs, but he’d prefer if you’d all stop talking about babies.

Sheryl – I will have to show your comment to my husband. I cannot do the nasty until I’ve had my morning NASTY. Are there any other ladies out there who can back me up?

The look on Leta’s face is priceless: “Aw, yeah, I know I’m a cutie. HA!”

I think there needs to be some kind of law against George and Leta appearing in the same picture. Their cuteness could destroy the known universe.

Dooce:
All kids develop differently. My 5 yr old son crawled at 13 months and walked at 18 months. So did 2 of my friends kids. Ignore ignorant people!

After all the stupid comments I endured about when E was going to start crawling/walking, I made a vow never to ask another parent about their child’s development. Babies move when they’re ready. Really. One day Leta will just pull up and start cruising, and you’ll realize some internal clock went off and told her it was time. I never got why so many other people care when someone else’s children move… unless you are training Leta to serve finger foods at a party, her mobility doesn’t affect them at all.

Dooce- I know this will make you feel better. My daughter did not crawl until she was 13 1/2 months. She was almost 18 MONTHS when she took her first step. The crawl was not normal either. It was more of a dragging of her legs with the strength from her arms. I went through the same thing thinking that I must have done something wrong and broke her. Now I can’t keep up with her at almost 5 yrs old.

Chin up girlfriend it will happen sooner or later.

I promise.

Dooce – To make you feel better about “sensory problems” with Leta… I contracted polio from the vaccine when I was 6 months old. My mom freaked out!! This was 1968 and that just didn’t happen. Anyway, I definitely have weakness in my arm, but most of my friends have no idea. And I was an athlete all through school. Gymastics, even. It’s amazing what you can overcome. Hope this makes you feel better. : )

You know, that whole kibitz-on-your-parenting thing is weird. Somehow, when you have kids, you’re always wearing a t-shirt that says, “Advise me, I’m Clueless.” I have a kid who sucks her thumb; everyone had license to comment in the grocery store line. If Leta isn’t walking, then you get to listen to stories of how THEIR kids walked right out of the womb. Well-meaning, I tell myself. Well-meaning. But it doesn’t quell my urge to run screaming, or to return later, with a gun.

Alive/Verge of Collapse is the best name for this parent rollercoaster.

I’m with the niffer: evacuating the premises before the next door invasion is the best way to go.

Your Nikon D70 captured how much Leta’s got George wrapped around her sweet, tasty little pinky.

If it’s not one thing that people comment on, it’s another. When you have a baby, everyone feels the right to question, and everyone is convinced they’re right.

Leta is normal. Leta is herself. Leta is going to take over the world with her cuteness and pinky cheeks.

Yes I’m single, and midwifegoddessannie about the eyes, I’ve put them to use many times before. Works especially good at Mormon dances.

is this your taken in your home, if so, i love your fireplace and built-in shelving unit!

oh, and… GEORGE!

awww I want one…no…not george

Now, I think the issue here is that we don’t just know are children are okay. How could we know that?

The reason a stranger’s comments can both hurt and terrify is because we just don’t know.

I am certainly not suggesting anything is “wrong” with anybody. I am just remarking that it’s the not knowing, and to an extent the worry it is all our fault, that is the hardest part.

Free Chuck!

Not sure what the big deal is? My daughter crawled at 10 months, walked at 13 months. She’s 3 now and just fine. Everybody does their thing at different times and it all evens out.

Kids who crawl late and for a while before they walk are supposed to be great readers!

any child. I mean any child.

Heather ~
I know how you feel.. My 3 year old has ERBS Paulsey. It happened when she was born. She was an 11 pound baby, and well, she suffered major nerve damage in her left arm when she was born. She has been seeing a therapist every other week for 3 years.. Fortunately it is not as noticable now as it was even a year ago.. but the questions .. they get old.. I am so tired of explaining myself and the situation over and over..

Here are my blanket responses..
1. yes, she has a problem with her arm
2. she was 11 pounds born at 38 weeks.
3. no it was not a c-section
4. yes, she is participating in OT every other week.

thank you.