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I know it’s a little late, but…

2005/01/06

I, for one, can rest easy now knowing that Santa is a Patriot.

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  • Carol

    You know, (and believe me, I’ve been thinking about this) if they didn’t want you to poop at work, they wouldn’t put toilets in the bathroom.

  • http://shiz.typepad.com/ Shiz

    God bless, AmeriSanta!

    (Gag.)

  • Apeme

    I can’t seem to find any comments on “if you can come in 20 seconds”. Depends on the mood and day but I don’t seem to have a problems.

  • http://Okie Melanie/OKie

    What a way to seperate Church and State…

  • ella’s ma

    Is that a joke?

  • http://trancejen.diaryland.com Trance

    All in favor of Masthead Girl being changed to the picture of Dooce doing the MC Hammer Dance, say aye.

  • http://www.partofthatworld.com Becca

    Mhmm I am finally back at a computer where I can view your lovely photos.

    Gee, if he’s a patriot to us, how do children in other countries feel?

  • Cheryl

    I am definitely a work pooper. I poop wherever I am when I feel the umm… urge! What bugs me is when you are at someone’s house and they don’t have any room spray? What does their shit not stink? Polly pure ass, I’m sure. People get some spray and let us poopers poop in peace.

  • http://homepage.mac.com/christykilgorehadley christy

    Speaking of masthead girl – certainly the silhouette isn’t of dooce herself in that sensible mid-calf length skirt, right?

  • http://www.sweetney.com sweetney

    personally, i find santa’s unabashed nationalism divisive.

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    How about Dooce leave her masthead the way she likes it? Damn people…

  • http://trancejen.diaryland.com Trance

    Just joking. No need to get squiffy.

  • cd

    I once saw a statue of Santa kneeling down and praying next to the manger of the baby Jesus.

    Even my Jewish boyfriend knew that that story is NOT in the bible.

  • http://www.kempland4u.com Gooooder

    I wonder if Santa pays taxes, his patriotic duty.

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    I’m not being squiffy, i’m being bitchy.

    Squiffy is my new word of the day. Thanks!

  • http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily_photo/01_06_2005.html justwondering

    Cheryl! What’s the most effective room spray? What do you advise, oh Experienced One? Serious question here.

  • http://morici.typepad.com/bag_n_trash maryse

    i have an hour and a half commute one way to work. if i didn’t poop at work, i wouldn’t poop.

  • http://someadventure.blogspot.com/ Girl.A

    I’m feeling squiffy between the wegs.

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    I wonder if Metro still has a squiffy?

  • http://modernmotherhood.blogspot.com/ Michelle

    Love the new banner, but isn’t the profile of the woman a bit…um…matronly to be you? Or are you unleashing your inner biddy in 2005? Just askin’.

  • Carol

    I almost just spit out my diet coke. GA and AB!

  • http://trancejen.diaryland.com Trance

    What the hell is a weg? And your welcome. Always glad to be of service.

  • http://peefershome.com Peefer

    Look closely: I think the banner woman is packing a thick wallet under her skirt, somewhere around the left hip. AdSense must be working well.

  • http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily_photo/01_06_2005.html moose

    Trance, watch out! A dog might dry hump your weg.

  • stacysre

    wait, can a mormon santa have a beard?

  • http://ladybug4791.tripod.com/ladybug/ LadyBug

    I don’t see a wallet on Ms. Masthead. Maybe she just has good birthing hips. And those shoulder pads say, “I am sensible and important; and therefore, I wear shoulder pads.”

  • http://holyschmidt.blogspot.com Melanie S

    Trance, you must learn “GirlA speak”

    Weg = Leg

  • http://dirtyfloorsandfilthyjokes.blogspot.com/ Closet Metro

    I don’t have a squiffy. Just took a pic of my oak, though. Will post soon.

  • http://spelunk.blogspot.com mrs. george #2

    If I was a dog, I would totally be trying to dry hump Santa’s weg.

  • Effie

    You know Santa’s Canadian, eh?!
    He lives just North of the Northwest Territories!

  • http://bethology.blogspot.com Beth

    I totally didn’t mean to make that reference about Santa’s sack, but it does make me wonder if he’d fire blanks?

  • http://homepage.mac.com/christykilgorehadley christy

    Ladybug – and she wears her tennis shoes to work and then changes into sensible pumps when she gets there, a la Tootsie.

  • http://someadventure.blogspot.com/ Girl.A

    Did someone say “Girl.A Speak”?

    Ruff! Ruff!

  • http://aainaa.blogspot.com/ AainaalyaA

    Very Informative shot ;-)

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    Beth, where do you think all the elves come from?

    girl.A: down girl.

  • http://ladybug4791.tripod.com/ladybug/ LadyBug

    christy: Yes, she does. And you can’t tell in the silhouette…but she’s _definitely_ got a scarf tied around her neck. Also a sensible handbag.
    And she removes her clip-on earring before she answers the phone.

  • http://honestyrain.blogspot.com/ honestyrain

    santa is american? gosh, who woulda thought.

  • http://georgeboone.blogspot.com/ GEORGE!

    YEA SANTA! YEA USA!
    WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
    …sorry.

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    Can’t you see, the masthead lady is from Riverdance. Don’t you know that that’s why Dooce took that time off from blogging? In fact, she wasn’t doing the roger rabbit at all. She was doing irish tap dancing.

  • http://www.jamf.net/wp/ maricar

    Late but wanted to say I love the new masthead.

  • La Pixiatrix

    Fishbreath, it is Modern Style Step Dancing, dude.

  • http://dirtyfloorsandfilthyjokes.blogspot.com/ closet metro

    You’re right Fish; hands on the hips, doing a jig.

  • http://someadventure.blogspot.com/ Girl.A

    No, Wait!

    Bad Ass Masthead Matron is so
    * Stomp! *

    http://www.stomponline.com/

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    Whoa, Pix, a bit defensive, hmm?

  • http://spelunk.blogspot.com mrs. george #2

    LaPix, OMG I never thought it possible for so much cherry vanilla dr. pepper to squeeze out of my nostril at one time. And it stings! But not as much as that witty comeback. Fish, you got faced brother.

  • http://bethology.blogspot.com Beth

    Suddenly everything is so clear to me. Santa, his sack, the elves – and Rudolph’s obvious cocaine addiction.

  • http://krissypants.blogspot.com krissy pants

    Has Girl.A had her rabies shot?

  • http://www.thejulietfiles.com JulieT

    I wonder how many people hang out on this web site… all day… instead of working. Is it still considered a “Dooce” if you’re fired for someone else’s web site?

  • http://www.thejulietfiles.com JulieT

    Dooce by proxy.

  • La Pixiatrix

    No I like the smell of Fishybreath. I’m not defensive. Maybe offensive tho. Instigator.

    I guess if you’re trying to be a troll, you should change your name so it is believable.

    How come GA is the only who gets away with name calling the darlings?

    hmmf :pouting: lol

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