The Monsters

In the midst of all the chaos yesterday I had to babysit my sister’s four-year-old twins seen here in a rare moment of sitting still.

  • Dang cold..

    zippers and crabs are like kryptonite for him…

    Testiculor is the two headed wise old wizard. The Oracle of Delphi if you will. Perhaps his Orson.

  • The Monkey

    My New Address:

    The Monkey
    c/o Amanda B
    1234 Cornhole Lane
    Hineyville, MS 11111

    No Amanda, please please PLEASE don’t put those pink bows and curlers in my back hair again! NOOOOOOOOO!!

  • moose

    annabelle, we like you to much to get nasty. Well, maybe fun nasty, but not mean nasty.

    Hm. Oh, the places our phallic helmet-headed hero might go…

  • jensplace

    LOL Those are some serious “auntie heather’s house SUCKS! please can we go home?” looks.

  • Dang cold..

    Katie-be-bored… its my fault due to lil typo. dude in my office named Johnston and he and I have been playing email ping pong all day. :(

  • Gooooder


  • annabelle

    I’m with you Cathi- I was starting to squirm a little at the physics of a penis with a pocket protector- you know, I was thinking sort of along the lines of a built-in pocket protector. Ew.

    And whistling! (with the blowing thing, one can whistle)

  • Tomas Baiget

    Your site has impressed me!
    You are a brave person.

    Cheer up!

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    JP, I like the idea of the little penis guy, donning a little helmet, seersucker shirt, and wingtips. He will save all little kids from the evil Zipper!!!

    You know what is so sad about me making fun of the name “Johnston”? My last name is Johnson!!!

  • Marcia

    here’s another link -not mine but another faithful reader

  • http://james jp

    And his powers lay in the hands of a boy, and his mean auntie dooce who is trying to rip his powers away.

  • Sherri

    Was Jon standing behind you, threatening them with physical harm while you snapped that photo? They look terrified. Or tired. Kinda hardd to tell.

    Leta’s made her first of what I’m sure will be many TV appearances in her lifetime. What a doll!

  • Carla Beth

    That’s be a great Oprah show, who ever suggested it. Especially if it features blogging mamas.

  • Danielle

    Everyone, Tu at 9:20 pm yesterday, *very generously*
    posted an mpeg and some other forms of files of a piece of the segment (the part that had dooce on it). I think the other links are at 8:37 pm.

    So, you can get it from yesterday’s photo comments.


    And it isn’t the whole thing, but the part with dooce in it.

  • Cathi

    So exactly what would a penis keep in his pocket to warrant needing a pocket protector?

    This whole conversation is so far over my head. My daughter just blew her bangs off her forehead. Do you know what this means? It means that I can finally teach her how to blow bubbles. She loves bubbles!

  • red

    awe, they look so cute and innocent! pictures can be so deceiving…

  • annabelle

    Wow- I’ve just witnessed the creation of a miniature phallic superhero.

  • Michelle

    Is there a way to see the clip on without signing up for a subscription?

  • Dang cold…

    Susie like…JOHNSTON is the Felix Unger to the Oscar Madison JOHNSON??? Is that the comparison you’re seeking?? I like that…

  • JessicaRabbit

    My boys used to make that same face at me, they were a year apart, I called them Monkeys because the monkeys at the zoo had the same playground equipment they did.

  • http://james jp

    LOL! lord know those fallopian villains need to be put in their place about once a month.

  • yes I’m blonde

    Here’s a link for those who missed it:
    Click on the video clips on the right, scroll through the picture links until you hit “Blogging” one.

    Heather, you looked great! And hardly any Tennessee twang!

  • LadyBug

    Crap. I really AM too tired. That should be penisEs.
    {Penisis sounds like a medical condition.}

  • becaru

    they look like scared rabbits

  • LadyBug

    Heh heh. Susie said “posture” and “upright” in a comment about penisis. Heh heh.

    Good lord, my brain is tired.

  • mg2

    congrats on the news segment! that is HUGE! a proud day for us members of the dooce cult. :)

  • Big Gay Sam

    money grubbing whore? That’s a bad thing? Since when?

  • Danielle

    They definitely look worried.

    the question is, of course, just what were they worried about?

    Chuck going nuts?
    The smell of the nasty pumpkins? The TV hair and make-up?
    Big scary auntie Heather behind the big lens? Yup, that was it.

  • michele

    Yes, where is your book deal? I don’t think it was nice of them to lump you in with someone who posted proprietary information on the Internet and a staffer who slept with Capitol Hill. Like that’s something new anyway! I grew up in DC and have friends who went to work on the Hill- it’s nothing new to warrant 6 figures. Sad commentary on our society…

  • Karen

    Sadly I missed it – does anyone have a clip?

  • http://james jp

    a cape and tights ;)

  • Becca

    Hey, I missed the show last night! Does anyone know if they’re posting the segment online or anything?

  • Dang cold..

    Battling his evil nemesis…tube the fallopian villain.

  • Pissy Britches

    I saw you on TV..I saw you on TV. It was great! Leta was such a cutie pie!

  • moose

    Dang cold, thanks for the shout out. I’m here at home now. But on my way out the door. Hasta luego…

  • annabelle

    I know Moose. I just came back to ask, “Jeez, am I getting all defensive?”

    You’ll have to forgive me, I was just told by a belarussian teenager that nobody cares what I think about Mary Lou Retton… I can’t wait until September!

  • SEK

    I stayed up until 11:30 (my time zone) to watch you. I was yelling for my husband “YOU’VE GOT TO GET IN HERE. I READ HER PAGE ALL THE TIME. LOOK THERE’S LETA!”

  • Amanda B.

    Damn it Spoony, I love you.

  • http://james jp

    a new wave of super crime fighting penis’ all clad in sear sucker and pocket protectors. Saving to world from k-mart creeps and 2 dollar hookers. “JOHNSTON” to the rescue!

  • Door

    “We’re bored because Aunt Heather is doing some TV news thing. Boo.”

    You looked great last night!

  • JulieT

    YAY! I saw the clip. Go Heather!!! And Leta!!! Now you can tell her she was on the news when she was only one year old!!!

  • moose

    Are they gonna wear capes, too, jp? I like me some capes.

  • 01234

    Do them boys have the _Fear o’ Dooce_ in their eyes, or what? Do they know that their every move is being chronicled by someone who’s been on national TV? I’ll bet they’re thinking about their future as _Defenders of Leta_ and the extreme situations they’ll find themselves in at any given moment.

    Yes, _they_ have seen the future, and _we_ know it.

  • Big Gay Sam

    # sue said at 04:52PM, 02.10.2005:

    Hands up who else yelled LETA! when she tipped her head up?

    Heather? you looked great too, but LETA!


    We all shouted her name in the office when she poked her head up. She’s so damn cute. :p

  • Susie

    Or maybe a JOHNSTON has better posture, is a more upright citizen than a JOHNSON. Maybe a JOHNSON can aspire to be a JOHNSTON. Yea, that’s it.

  • SEK

    look at those faces!

  • Dang Cold…

    bend over, I’ll get my shit kickers on.

  • moose

    Just teasing, annabelle. ;) Line dancing with salsa?

  • Matt in London

    I go away for a day and look what happens….and I don’t get to see the news clip over here :-(

  • Ern

    Thanks Dang cold, I think that’ll get me out the door :)