Snowboards in love

You can’t tell by this photo but Jon’s snowbaord, the green one of the left, The Green Destiny, it weighs about 400 pounds.

  • LadyBug

    Of COURSE I knew what Dooce meant about her “Groundhog phone call.”
    Sarcasm is LOST on you people.

    Where’s Bucky Four-Eyes when I need her?

  • Girl.A

    I posted this on Spoonleg’s blog a few days ago.

    …The story of discovering a bar of Body Shop Satsuma Orange lodged someplace after having some early morning shower sex. Too bad I was in the middle of a 2 hour Monday morning business meeting and couldn’t leave when I realized that I still had the bar on board. That shit stings if you leave it in too long.

    Just remember to put your toys away when you’re done – and ask your play pals to remember to do the same.

    I didn’t get out the soap and play with it, so I had no idea it was there.

  • RazDreams

    they’re all separate key words that dooce herself has promoted on here, and my t-shirt would be, of course, dedicated to her site. and her site’s *all about* ruff wiener rectalage poop.

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    Thanks for the moral support JP!

  • RazDreams

    like i’d said, “if you’re seriously asking…” you asked twice, ladybug; i was just tryin’ to be helpful. kindness is lost on some people, i ‘spose.

  • http://james jp

    I learned what a queef was when I was a soph in high school, I was at a party and letting all the really hot guys lick whipped cream off my tongue. Well this girl was all kinds of mad and she got on the ground and queefed. You could hear a pin drop, and then a thunderous roar. Guess she showed me.

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    I would totally wear a shirt with ‘ruff weiner rectalage poop OF FRANCE what about Matt Damon’ on it. I am proud to be a Dooceketeer!

  • CanadianAmy

    Ah, KatieBBAW, that would be a red-letter day for your coworkers.

    You could perform the queefing, then get up, take a sip of coffee, and be all, “Whaat?”

  • that-andrea

    I figured she meant groundhog as in “You’d have to be living in a hole like a groundhog to not know that is alive and well, dumbass reporter-dude.”

  • texbecks

    jp: dang. where’d you go to highschool? i bet she got voted Most Likely To Succeed.

  • Circus Kelli

    Bushra, #206: Heh, that should be her next masthead: Dooce. Don’t you know who I am?!

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    I would have people coming from every department coming to watch the Queefer. It would be great comic relief, I am sure.

    I guess if I got fired, I wouldn’t be getting dooced. I’d be queefed?

  • Ed

    Looks all wet and messy.

  • CanadianAmy

    you’d be deefed.

  • jes

    Where are pictures of Leta? We want pictures of Leta! :-D

  • Torrie

    Katie, I now worship you.
    I will go build my shrine now.

  • so dense

    I’m still trying to find the misspelling in “weighs.” Did I miss something? Someone will have to spell that out for me, because I am dense.

    Now I DID catch “snowbaord.” :)

  • http://james jp

    What tex? you mean everyone’s high school parties aren’t like that? So I shouldn’t tell you about the time we hired that stripper?

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    suck my kiss

  • http://james jp

    btw she was voted best looking and was pregnant by the time she wa\s 17. She put her talents to good use. I am now a fan, we should manufacter the queefing katie doll. She comes to life when you squeeze her!

  • that-andrea

    Re: #157

    Here here!

    Or is it hear hear?

    Either way.

  • http://james jp

    manufacture, idiot.

  • Susie

    Ladybug, I knew what you meant, but I LOVE the idea of a groundhog-shaped phone; actually, a hedgehog-shaped phone would please me immensely . . . I’m goin’ to Ebay . . .

  • Dang Cold..

    LMAO!! man oh man…when the women start on a subject the men just sit back and refrain from commenting themselves so as not to interrupt the flow of communication. awesome reading!! thanks jp, ca and katie b.

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    Sarcasm is my forte, Lady Bug, so don’t worry about that. Just throwing it out there for anyone who might not get the Bill Murray reference.

    Lady Bug didn’t ask twice, did she?

  • spoonleg

    Girl.A, seriously. How could you NOT KNOW it was there? First altoids, then orange soap?? I’d hate to think what “toys” got left in there that you never found out about.

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    She fixed it. It said “It ways 400 pounds”. Sneaky Heather went back in and fixed it when we weren’t looking.

  • http://james jp

    My friend Dang! I thought you died, or thawed or something.

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    Susie, you can have a hedgehog-shaped phone if I can have a monkey-shaped fruit basket.

    Oh, wait, god already took care of that for me!

  • http://james jp

    yes, I agree with spoonleg, girl a. I mean really, one would hope you don’t use power tools.

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    I like it when Conan O’Brien “is” Trump and says “HUUHHHH”

  • Dang Cold..

    JAAAAAAAY PEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! how’ve you been you little devil?!?!

  • Susie

    Fruit basket? Now you have to sully the good name of fruit, too? Is nothing sacred to you, BFE? What does fruit basket mean?

  • http://james jp

    Dang! I clicked your name last week or so, can I just say how beautiful your love letter to your wife was, just makes me love you that much more!

  • doocefan

    My parents’ dogs have ALWAYS had anal sac problems (ewww), and the vets tell them that it tends to be a side effect of a dog being overweight. And my parents constantly feed their (already overweight) dogs people food…which they found out also totally causes dogs to have…um, issues.

    If you feed them some kind of fiber (like pumpkin or oatmeal!), that’s supposed to help.

    And if your cat gets overweight, it’ll have problems, too.

    Impacted anal glads…erf. WAY worth putting your pets on a diet for!!

    ‘Scuse me while I go lose my venti vanilla latte.

  • http://james jp

    It’s also nice to know you think of her as more than just warmth;)

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    Susie — “Fruit basket” means the same thing you don’t want “monkey” to mean.

    And no, nothing is sacred to me. Except maybe the Captain and Tennille. Don’t say nuthin’ mean about them.

    I’m totally serious, you guys.

  • Dang Cold..

    warmth??? wuchoo mean, JP, my friend o’ the web?? you lost me you did :S

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    Heather, next time ask your interviewer if he likes A1.

  • Cristin

    twin teabags? gotta know what that class is all about.

    and, getting my monkey waxed is NOT an option. Especially since the hubby likes using that trimmer thing…..

  • diana chan


    i’ve been following your blog for over a year and it’s the first time i’m sufficiently aggravated to want to, have to, post a comment:

    BLAST those lazyass-reporters who don’t even bother to check out dooce before calling. BLAST them i say!

  • http://james jp

    remember when you were sharing about how you were poor, warmth packed her bags and walked out the front door. I accused you of calling that poor woman you were married to warmth.

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    What? Heather got fired for her blog?

    Holy fucking crap, lady, a SPOILER ALERT would’ve been appreciated.

  • http://james jp

    waxing should be an option, its much cleaner, and even arousing.

  • Susie

    Muskrat Susie was named after me.

  • Closet Metro

    I’m with you DC, this afternoon’s discussion has been very enlightening. Texbecks almost lured me out by saying llama trimming was a metrosexual thing, but I don’t want to give away any secrets.

  • Spurious Plum

    BFE – I can hear the snowboards a-singing…

    Do that to me one more time,
    Once is never enough, with a board like you
    Do that to me one more time
    I can never get enough of a board like you
    Whoa-oh-oh, squeeze my anal sacs like you just did
    Oh, baby, do that to me once again..

    Que romantico.

  • Burdanilex

    I queefed on my first loves leg. I was SO embarassed. He was a gentleman and made me laugh about it instead. I seem to queef at the most inoppurtune time.

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    BFE, news at 11. But does she still maintain her blog?

  • greenthumb

    llama trimming…??? do I need to refer back for an explanation?

    comment # anyone?