Yesterday morning we turned on the morning news to find the words BREAKING STORY covering the whole screen. A railcar not too terribly far from our house was leaking acid, potentially life-threatening acid. The reporter said, “Toxic acid is leaking from a train car close to the freeway. We’ll tell you which acid it’s leaking and how it might kill you, after the break.”

AFTER THE BREAK. I MAY BE DEAD AFTER THE BREAK BUT AT LEAST I’LL STILL BE TUNING IN.

Later in the day we heard the words TOXIC PLUME being thrown around nonchalantly, like, Utah may be wiped off the face of the earth because, you know, that acid leak may result in a toxic plume. For the rest of the evening we blamed everything on The Toxic Plume. Leta’s cough, must be The Toxic Plume. Dinner tastes kinda funny, gotta be The Toxic Plume.

My skin peeling off in flakey layers, THE TOXIC PLUME.