When this happens, you take the LOOOOONG way home



  • http://www.dooce.com dooce

    i’m totally wearing Old Navy.

  • southern fried girl

    Your post about the wrangling between you and John as to who should take away the crackers and then the mess in the car seat had me cracking up. You two are beyond hilarious.

  • AndreaBT

    …or surrounded with scar tissue…

  • http://stacyone.typepad.com/slices_ostacy/ Stacy

    I think there’s probably a very complicated equation involved: Crackers + saliva = mess / quiet squared * snarky laughter watching husband clean up mess.

  • AndreaBT

    *shriek!!* The famous award-winning blogger just spoke to us! :)

    We love you Heather!

  • http://talkingtoad.blogspot.com/ TulsaOkie

    The long way that involves torturous amounts of non-being-able-to-pee-time. Or atleast that’s what happens when I take the long way home when my two are asleep.

  • http://bucky4eyes.blogspot.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    I’m *mad* for the style!

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/torrie Torrie

    I saw these awesome frog socks (the frogs were dressed up like the easter bunny) this weekend. I wanted to buy them for Leta, but they didn’t have them in her size.
    :(

    I bought a pair for myself. I will wear them in Leta’s honor.

  • http://bucky4eyes.blogspot.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    Dr. J: Does this mean there’s a moratorium on your crap craft?
    Say it isn’t so! I had my order in for a custom Marlin Perkins and everything…

    Heather with the virtual armload of Bloggies: You may flash your peace sign after you say, breathlessly, “I’d like to thank the Academy…”
    And, you know, if you want to make things worthwhile for the throngs on the red carpet, you could “accidentally” let one of your boobs fall out of your sheer designer gown. As if we couldn’t totally see your nipples anyway.

    At least *your* nipples aren’t hairy.

  • http://bucky4eyes.blogspot.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    Yes, but we should all remember that Strizz’ Mom is obsessed with breasts. The boobmeister. The tittie-tollah.

  • http://stacyone.typepad.com/slices_ostacy/ Stacy

    Then there’s Joan… “You look fabulous, who are you wearing? Who’s this tramp you’re with? Your WIFE? Let me see the ring.”

  • http://lawbrat.com lawbrat

    Strizz #150..From you MOM? holy shit! I would be embarressed if my MOM even saw me seeing something like that! MOM?

  • AndreaBT

    So Nilbo, what ARE you playing tonight? Quidditch?

  • http://ellabellababycakes.modblog.com ella’s ma

    Leta has beautiful lips.
    I love when my daughter falls asleep in the car- my husband and I can talk, and “cruise” and for a brief moment, we have peace in the middle of an otherwise hectic life. :)

  • http://harlowandtheboys.blogspot.com/ greenthumb

    LOL Susie!!!

    Good one!

  • http://www.snickrsnack.blogspot.com Katie-be-bored-at-work

    I totally understand the indestructible saltine/saliva goo. We ended up just throwing one of Little Patrick’s carseats away for just that reason. That stuff will not come out. Ever.

    Is it me, or does the sunlight on Leta’s head in the picture on the main page make her look as though she has a mohawk? She looks pretty bad ass with a mohawk!

  • http://undi3s.org/sammie Sammie

    I found your site through the bloggies. Quite awhile ago actually. I come here 2-3 times a day, but I never comment because I’m only 17 and I don’t have much advice on raising children or lancing cysts. :D But I do enjoy your blog. It’s hilarious and I have you linked on my little blog even though I only get a measly little 40 hits a day. But keep up the awesome work.. you deserved all those awards!! And keep the pictures of Baby Leta coming! SHE’S SO CUTE! Oh.. and about the whole saltine cracker thing.. I made a huge mess in the back of my dad’s Jeep with Saltine crackers at the age of 15, so trust me, you guys have a long road ahead of you. :D Have fun!

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Strizz

    And I could be wrong, but I totally see a third nipple

  • http://stacyone.typepad.com/slices_ostacy/ Stacy

    “Did you have a speech prepared beforehand? How long did it take you to get ready? Have I mentioned that my wedding was FREE?”

  • http://randomandodd.blogspot.com kristine

    Ahhh the things I don’t miss:

    Car seats. Saltine crackers. Gold Fish, “MY SOCKS ARE HURTING MY FEET!”, and those moments trying to decide if taking the handgun away from the child will make her cry more than the flesh wound and possible jail time.

    I’m so glad mine are almost all growed up.

  • AndreaBT

    Ooh! Is it Armani? Please tell me it’s Armani!

    And all those trolls can just SUCK IT!! Did any other blog win as many awards? Trolls are just jealous…

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    She is so pretty. Her cheeks get me everytime. Must smooch cheeks!

  • http://uhohnowlook.blogspot.com Susie

    Wait, dooce! Who are you wearing?

  • http://bornfamous.com lavonne

    My first kid ruled by screaming too. I was actually afraid of him. He’s 39 now and still screams whenever I say no [I am so not exaggerating], but at least I’ve finally learned to say no. Fortunately, he’s 2000 miles away and I can hang up the phone.

  • Kevin

    As I have said in the past… feed ‘em, love ‘em, and watch ‘em grow! Amazing.

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Strizz

    Ok here is the link from before..again from my MOM to my husband

    http://mirrored.flabber.nl/boob.cursor/

  • AndreaBT

    Dr. Johnny…I’m SO glad there are some things that cannot be experienced via the internet!

  • http://www.happenchance.co.uk Paul

    143rd! Yey go me!

  • http://truthsandhalftruths.typepad.com Nilbo

    Totally here to play …

  • http://www.happenchance.co.uk Paul

    or not.. :(

  • AndreaBT

    Bummer…now that I’ve got both kids asleep and husband off the computer for a few hours, there’s no one here to play

  • http://stacyone.typepad.com/slices_ostacy/ Stacy

    I posted a carseat pic last night — I think Dooce copied me! ;-)

    We also read a scary book the other day — the Little Golden Book about God. Freaked. Me. Out.

    I realize I’m missing the whole “suspension of disbelief” thing, but I still haven’t gotten over the fact that during ‘Frosty the Snowman’, Santa leaves poor little Karen on the roof of her house. The HELL? Santa’s too good to drop her at the door and promise to call? Why not just send her home in a cab?

  • AndreaBT

    See you in the morning, Henryk_

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Strizz

    Who cares about a cracker mess. A quite happy baby is

  • http://kassipinkdot.blogspot.com/ Kassi

    I’m tired, my wit is low. I hope that you all have fun with your cans of Lysol, keeping watch for Grundle the Troll. (if you are curious just look up “grundle”-it’s urban slang, which seems oh so appropriate for “dooce.com”)

    Ciao

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Strizz

    SHIT….WORTH the mess and pain in the ass. Am I right or am I right????

  • http://www.dadgonemad.com Dr. Johnny Fever

    I have a cloak of constipation right now. It’s invisible, but not odorless.

  • http://bucky4eyes.blogspot.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    Ultimately, I’d guess the handi-vac makes a less annoying sound than a screaming baby.
    I’d totally give her the crackers.

  • Henryk_

    Oops…..lunch/playtime over. Some of us DO have to work (unfortunately) Ciao pples

  • http://www.auntvanessa.blogspot.com/ Vanessa_AR

    Leta is the cutest! And those moments of silence are wonderful.

  • Henryk_

    no Andrea, it is pm……post meridian….afternoon, on a Tuesday

  • Kate

    Anyone else think that is the first photo of Leta we have seen where she looks like a child and not like a baby? She is also becoming breathtakingly beautiful.

    Good Job Heather!

  • AndreaBT

    PM???? *REALLY*??????? Sure it’s not a.m.?

    **scratching her head in extreme confusion**

  • http://www.geeekgirl.net geeekgirl

    It is really fun to watch her grow up. She looks so much older this weekend!

  • http://kassipinkdot.blogspot.com/ Kassi

    …your cloak of invisibility?

  • http://www.digitalcatharsis.com the mighty jimbo

    almost makes you want to drive her with you to montana, doesn’t it?

  • Henryk_

    no (zzzzz) was sleeping

  • http://james jp

    you drive until there is no more gas, because that bliss is the last you will have when those eyes pop open.

  • Henryk_

    Its Tuesday, 15/3/05 (15 March!)1:55 pm now!

  • tracy

    Gee, I’m surprised that a Bad Parent like yourself (of course you are, the internets says so!) would get so upset about that book.

    (it’s a joke, people)