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God Hauling Ass

Last night we were watching live TV — uh, the pain! — and saw the beginnings of what seemed to be a promotional commercial for a show about some king of Egypt. The camera swept over acres and acres of wind-blown sand and the words, something like, “The King Who Lasted The Longest,” or, “The [...]

Reading

Alas, my hometown people. I am probably related to some of these specimens: “Attorney meets the ‘jury pool from hell’”

Hand, yummy

National Public Nightmare

Leta is going through A Phase. I know that in the span of her childhood she will go through thousands and thousands of Phases, but every time she goes through one I’m like, CAN YOU PLEASE SLOW DOWN FOR ONE SECOND, because I’ve barely caught up on what the last Phase put me through. This [...]

Scrumptious Bearded Armstrong as reflected in the switchplate of our bedroom in LA one week before we left for Utah

I promise this is the last of the reminiscing photos for a while.

Generations

(Today’s usually longer Daily entry is brought to you by Seagram’s Gin. I will tell you the WHOLE story tomorrow, and believe me, it’s a good one.) While bathing Leta Jon and I were talking about the names of her grandparents, specifically my mother and his mother, Grandmommie and Grandma respectively. He kept coaxing Leta [...]

How to Charm Me

After the dog farts next to the baby’s head for the second time in one day reprimand, “Cut it out, dog. Your mother and I are in love enough that we’re the only ones allowed to do that to each other in this house.”

Living in the heart of the Aryan Nation

Just now as I was on the phone with Beth she asked if Jon had the day off work. “Of course not,” I answered. “It’s Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Utah doesn’t even recognize that black people exist.” “You’re right,” she said. “They weren’t even allowed to hold the priesthood until the late seventies. What [...]

Exactly one week before our lives exploded, January 2004

I don’t remember what life was like before I could pause live television, or I guess I don’t WANT to remember

Emily called yesterday to check on the condition of Chuck’s upset tummy (caused by her, no less, their love is sickening, har har har) and to ask if we’d like to join her on a dog walk today. I gave her an idea as to when we’d be available and told her to call us [...]