• http://baseballmom.typepad.com shelby mayor

    I was laughing my ass off picturing Chuck rolling over and over. Our Lab, Zip waits by me when I cook, too…but he doesn’t know to wait until the food that falls cools off before eating it. He picks it up, then drops it real fast, then picks it up again, etc. until it is cool enough to eat. OH, and he licks our pans and stuff too, ’cause dog spit never hurt anyone!

  • shanteuse

    My dearly departed dog used to pick up the tuna cans I gave her in the kitchen and carry them to the carpet before practically licking the aluminum off. So they wouldn’t move around so much.

    I miss that girl. Thank you for sharing a video that brought back a cherished memory.

  • kathrynaz

    Chuck is the BEST.

    I especially like Jon’s sound effect of dog satiety (ahhhh….)

    Video snippets of the Armstrongs doing their domestic thang always put me in a good mood. Thanks for sharing!

  • http://mom-o-matic.blogspot.com/ Mom O Matic

    Puh-lease. My in-laws are all “starving kid in Botswana” whenever I try to complain. Bugs the nuts outta me.

    We also never tell anyone that our dog eats her own crap all the time. We try to get there first but obviously she has an advantage.

  • http://www.crazymadmomma.blogspot.com DDM

    Heather, I am SO sorry that people suck. And then send you suck-a-licious hate mail. They can just….wait for it….SUCK IT. You are absolutely, unquestionably allowed to freak out. Over biopsies. Over cancer. Over clogs in your dishwasher. The majority of your readers are pulling for you!

    On Chuck? The video was fab. I may or may not have snorted while giggling at it. :-)

  • Loob

    1. rachelle said at 01:08PM, 07.18.2006:
    “maybe we didn’t hear you complain kate but i think we got an earful from the chip on your shoulder. it sounds to me like you have been alotted more than your fair share of grief and that had you complained, or better yet, processed your pain and fear in a safe and supportive environment you might be better equipped to respond compassionately to others. a broken heart, a biopsy from your arm, a lost job, a troubled child, war, ignorance… there are plenty of things that are sad, scary and deserve some contemplation and compassion.”

    Good grief! What a frighteningly humourless reaction. Kate was OBVIOUSLY kidding. It was completely tongue in cheek, and just plain funny.
    ~Shudder~. I love freaks who go to town picking fights with people and twisting their words and intentions, especially when said freaks continue to argue all day, even after they have realised their mistake.

  • glumica

    People, hello: Kate was SO being sarcastic. Phew, the IQ is thin in here today!

    HB Lady H

  • Kristine

    I love animals. They can provide the best entertainment in the world.

    I wouldn’t say that you just love Chuck. I think this verges on worship. He has his own online following.

  • Joey

    Heather, CANCER is not a “stupid little sore” and you are not a whiner. I completely freak and run to my doctor over much less.

    Luv you, luv Jon (even if he does wear clogs) and especially luv cute little miss Leta. Even luv Chuck and am only slightly repulsed at the thought of eating off dog dishes. I agree with you, much worse to put the clogs in the dishwasher!

    Note the use of only ONE exclamation point indicating I’m a fairly normal person. Since misspellings also push your buttons, I’ll point out that “Love” is intentionally misspelled to show a proper level of support at this difficult time yet prevent you thinking I’m some freakish stalker obsessed with your family.

    My best to you, and evil death vibes to Ed.


  • http://carrieoke.net carrieoke

    Chuck is a schmoo. And happy birthday!

  • Sunni

    Heather, I’m one of your non-moronic readers who can tell when you are being serious and when you are being sarcastic. Really, I can.

    When the others are finished cleaning your toilet, please have them call me. My mother in law needs her toenails clipped and I drew the short straw.

    Thank you.

  • http://scatteredwhimsy.com BeckyJoy

    I guess Chuck hasn’t realized that he can use his limbs to help out in the after-dinner-plate-licking-process. My dog, Cody, learned young to use at least one, and sometimes two, paws to hold down the dish he was licking to ensure he could get every crumb. The migration technique obviously has its benefits, though!

  • http://www.missingmojo.blogspot.com Sally

    How dare you feed your dog FROZEN LASAGNA!!! When homemade lasagna is so easy to prepare!!!
    Let me know if you want my recipe!!!

  • The Bold Soul

    Remember when you were a kid and you would make a face at someone, and some elderly relative would usually tell you “If you make a face at someone, some day your face will freeze and stay that way!” — yeah, like that ever stopped us.

    Well, it occurs to me — what might happen to those moronic blog readers who accuse you of sensationalizing your cancer just to get a little extra notoriety? Isn’t that sort of the equivalent of making faces at someone? What if those elderly relatives were right all along, and the thing you do to make fun of someone else can then happen to YOU? I’m not wishing cancer on anyone (even the more insensitive of your readers)… I’m just saying, people should be a little more careful what they say, because whatever negativity they put out there will inevitably come back to bite them in the ass.

    Meanwhile the REST of us are sending you love and healing energy, and I say that if it helps you should write about cancer every flipping day, no matter what anyone else thinks about it.

    And Chuckles sure got one good mouth work-out with that dish! No wonder his grin looks so fearsome!

  • http://www.monkeythoughts.com monkey

    I tell you, cats are absolutely NO GOOD in assisting with the whole cleaning of dishes. I miss having a dog.

  • Nefariousnina

    Duude. Even without the exclamation points, I am so with that guy. My biggest pet peeve is dogs licking plates and such. Gross. And drinking from toilet bowls. Even grosser. As for the eating of shit? I don’t care what they do but keep that mouth away from me and my stuff

    But they’re your plates and your dog and you have to eat from those plates. When you put it out there, though, people are going to have opinions. And mine is blech. Guess this answers the “will I ever be invited to Heather’s for dinner?” question. Magic 8 ball says “it is unlikely.” hehe

  • http://www.heatherannehogan.com Heather Anne

    Happy Birthday, Heather!!

  • Ellen

    Oh, Lynne Truss would have a fit over those exclamations points.
    Happy birthday!

  • OutOfTune

    Er… your bit about the cancer was humourous, and although it’s a serious issue, you poked fun at it and weren’t all “Poor me, look look minions, I have cancer. Your overlord has CANCERRRRRRR…drama drama….” So, I don’t get what the deal is with people writing you and telling you to stop complaining.
    I had the same kind of cancer removed from a tiny spot on my back a long time ago, when I was about 15. Although it wasn’t exactly a traumatic ordeal, it’s still something serious that needed to be done and I think more people ought to be aware of it. They could have it and not even know until it gets worse.
    My cats lick our plates, and when my mom found out about this she was horrified.
    When we had pet rats, all our leftovers went into their dish. Didn’t matter what it was. Even things like potato peels, apple cores, burnt toast, pizza crust, chicken bones, anything remotely edible that needed to be disposed of. They were like little garbage disposals. No organic matter ever made it into our trash can because of those little guys.

  • KaraBuggy

    I stumbled across this blog while at work trying to distract myself from the boredom by poking myself in the face with various office supplies.

    Thank you for breaking my boredom streak and making me laugh in the process.

  • http://www.beautifulcandy.blogspot.com Kissyface

    I propose a new and amusing, if somewhat cruel game for dog owners: Put the plates or trays on wheels. One of those mini dollys would do. Or mount the platter on one of those circular and independent vacuum’s they sell on tv with the golden retriever

  • Loob

    I attached my email address when I logged in, I am most certainly NOT hiding!
    It’s sweetlooby@yahoo.ca.
    And I ticked the section that says *remember my details.*
    Since I don’t have a blog webpage I don’t know how else to let delightful folks like you contact me.
    Get your head out of your arse, Arline.

  • elismor

    I love Chuck.

    (And happy 31st!)

  • paper

    excuse me? you’re cancer isn’t bad enough?
    My response was, omg, she is not freaking out enough! PANIC NOW!

    I have a friend who says, “my childhood was worse than yours because it happened to ME”, and that’s pretty much how it is. it’s bad while it is happening, especially if it is happening to you or someone you care about.
    I totally have my dermatological issues in a head lock, but of course yours seem worse to you, they are happening to YOU. people who have no sympathy for others are, well, not deserving of sympathy.

    Also, if you do sell t-shirts that said ‘chuck licked my plate clean’, I will totally buy one, especially if it has a picture of chuck on it.

  • http://www.srah.net/weblog srah

    Happy birthday!

  • http://badmetaphor.net/blog/ karenology

    Oh, and people actually think kate’s comment was -serious-? Are we all going to have to start preferencing our comments with “I’m on dooce’s side!” so we don’t confuse people?

  • arline

    Interesting that there is no way to directly e-mail you… Hiding in the internet.

  • http://www.xanga.com/mindylou00 mindylou00

    Happy Birthday Heather!!! That picture is amazing. Hope you celebrate all week, as a proper girl should.

  • http://badmetaphor.net/blog/ karenology

    You really can’t please these trolls. I have an image in my head of these people yelling at starving African children, telling them they whine too much. “you think YOU have it bad, Ngubu? At least you HAVE a speck of rice to eat! I subsist on pure RAGE!”

  • http://therambleroom.blogspot.com Hemlock

    That’s one very happy puppy!!

    Mean people and self-important people who involve themselves in other peoples lives are lame. Let’s just leave it at that.

    Happy birthday Heather. Hope it’s a great one. All the best.

  • CDavisNYC

    Okay, Heather:

    1. I am offended. I am offended that you eat frozen lasagne. There simply is no reason to do so. I’ll send you my family recipe if I can help this tragic situation.

    2. Anyone who has a dog will tell you that they are the best pre-wash cycle.

    3. Yes, they lick their butts, and then want to kiss you. Your choice, but I figure that there must be a reverse of the “five-minute rule.”

    4. I am a firm believer in denial, and if I don’t comment on Heather’s melanoma, then I won’t get it myself. oops.

    5. Tell Chuck that the “paw in the plate” method combined with the “plate on a rug” method helps to avoid plate migration.

    6. Anyone who doesn’t have a dog can’t really understand what it’s like. I’m currently dogsitting for 4 weiner dogs. In the same house. At the same time. Pray for me.


    P.S. Give Chuck some ear scritches from all of us…..

  • http://myflux.blogspot.com Huts

    No matter what other people say, anything you post is better than 99% of the internet.

  • flytrixie

    One of my favorite t-shirts reads (forgive the spelling errors, i’m at work and don’t speak french well) ‘j embrasse mon chien sur la boche’. i would gladly purchase the one proposed reading ‘chuck licked my plate clean’.

    this way we could recognize other doocers when we’re out and about in the world, you know, kinda like a secret handshake.

    could be bigger than the masons…hmmm…

  • http://www.maniacaldays.blogspot.com Maniacal

    Dear Heather,

    I can’t believe that you allow your dog to eat left overs out of a plastic carton!!!!!! That is so wrong on sooooooo many levels!!!!! First your killing your dog from the plastic! THEN there are starving children who could be benefiting from your leftovers that you are WASTING!!!just to get a cute video to put on the internet.

    I’m appauled!

  • http://randomthotsfromme.blogspot.com valerie

    ah yes….the joy of pets AND of people with an (?!)opinion.

    our cat loves spaghetti. preferably the spaghetti left on our plates.

    i ain’t dead yet.

    sorry, i can only give you one exclamiation point today. my doctor says i need to cut down.

  • http://www.flickr.com/starladear Starla Dear

    Not only do I let my dog lick off our plates, but sometimes if the plate or Tupperware container is too lightweight for her to lick effectively without it sliding around all over, I will HOLD IT for her while she licks. Otherwise she throws a little fit. My dog has me trained!

  • http://www.deardiesel.com Diesel

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dog who liked spaghetti sauce more than Chuck!

  • wrensuicide

    Do people seriously not understand that leftover consumption is the whole purpose behind having a dog? We have always ALWAYS let our dogs lick plates in my family. I don’t even drink cereal milk because I think of it as dog milk.

    Also, I had PRE-cancerous cells once and I was freaked out. You. Are. Allowed. Seriously, are these assholes trying to say that if they got skin cancer they wouldn’t be freaked out and telling people about it? Whatever.

  • annak

    so, um, have you noticed the freakish resemblance to your 31st b-day photo and this one?


    it’s not ALL armstrong genes in her pool.
    she looks JUST LIKE YOU!!!!!

    by the way, happy birthday!

  • Lori

    I just went through the hoops to sign in and make this comment: This? “My only response to those emails is: do you really have nothing better to do in your life than write a complete stranger to tell her that her cancer isn’t serious enough? Really? Because my toilet needs to be cleaned, and I volunteer you.” This is hilarious, and sadly too true. I can all too well believe that someone out there doesn’t understand that your diagnosis is a big deal. All cancer is a big deal, and not just to the person who has it. So here’s a different message from a complete stranger: I wish you all the luck in your treatment and recovery. Someday soon I hope the cancer feels like a small deal indeed.

  • http://www.meretrice.com Meretrice

    Wow, that birthday picture of you is like Leta v. 1.0.

    Happy birthday!


  • Loob

    “I was pointing out the frame of mind people must have to be in to say “your problem isn’t that bad because there are problems that maybe could be *worse*.” …Those people are stupid, and I was making fun of THEM, not people with terrible ailments and afflictions.”

    Arline and others,
    Kate explained herself very clearly. And it is obviously true from everything she originally said.
    She was making fun of the people who would say something like that, because such a-holes do exist.

    I think you probably DO understand what she meant now, but are clinging stubbornly to a non-existant argument.
    Especially watching how some of you keep trying to repeat her precise words as though she had said them seriously.
    Go you!

    Heather, Happy Birthday! I just love your journal, and Leta is adorable. :)

    Please pardon me for jumping in, injustice just really pisses me off.

  • http://sparkgrrl658.livejournal.com/profile stephanie

    um, does that girl really think that when you say “It is common practice in our house to let Chuck lick our food plates once we are finished with our meals” you mean that that is your only way of doing dishes?

    no, i let my dog lick all the plates and pots and pans and then i just leave them on the floor to air dry and then put them back in the cupboard.

    wtf? it’s unbelievable how quickly people on TEH INTARWEBS OMFG!!!111ON1E jump the gun about stuff that doesn’t even make sense.

    my pug moxie doesn’t typically get any kind of table scrap since she could easily balloon up to about 400 pounds if we got into that habit, but she is so food crazed [as per most pugs] she’ll eat anything. she’s happy doing the vaccumming of our hardwood floors with her tongue, so i let her go ahead. i mean, she put all that hair there in the first place.

    then i kiss her on the face.

  • http://www.meretrice.com Meretrice

    I was reminded of a story my dad told me when I saw your shiny slippery floors.

    My grandfather used to breed pedigree Scottish terriers. One year, a runt was born that the family had to raise by hand. They didn’t have the heart to sell him when he grew up. He became their family pet, Rusty.

    Every evening, my grandmother would give Rusty leftovers of the family’s dinner for him to eat. This was in the 30s when one didn’t have “dog” food. Plus, Roosevelt would gotten out of his wheelchair and walked to Missouri to berate them for wastefulness if they had thrown the scraps away.

    Anyways, Rusty’s dinner bell was the sound of the tin plate hitting the linoleum floor. Rusty would run at top speed into the kitchen to get some of those precious bits of beef stew. However, as soon as his feet hit the linoleum, his feet would lose all traction. Rusty would careen out of control and smash his nose into the kitchen cabinets. Every. Night.

    One day, Rusty figured out a solution to the problem. No, no, he didn’t slow down his one-dog race for the food. He kept running as fast as he could for dinner. But when he hit the linoleum, he used a little Tokyo Drift to spin himself around so that his butt would slam into the cabinetry rather than his face!


  • oromat

    Perspective people, please.

    Heather, I’m sorry soome people were less than understanding about your recent medical discovery. Of course there are worse things going on in the world; there are also better. The point is that this is what is affecting you right here, right now and you deserve compassion and understanding. You have both, from me.

    As far as Chuck goes. Get over it people. I’m sure if we walked into your house we’d find plenty of things to trigger a gag factor.

  • Deanna McG

    Reminds me of the time we let our dog lick the rice out of the pot it was cooked in, along with the spoon. The wooden spoon. It was left half-eaten in a completely spotless pot. Hey, that made clean-up easy, though.

  • lousoz

    Your dog rocks!
    I also love the Leta babble going on in the background.
    Good luck with the cancer thing. Pay no attention to the trolls. It amazes me that those people have time to live their own life, what with being in charge of telling everyone else what to do and think! They suck, you rock.

  • Kristen from MA

    Go, Chuck, go!

  • Cindy

    I heart Chuck!

    My best to you!

  • http://tiggerlane.blogspot.com Tiggerlane

    It’s your birthday? Well, Happy Day to you!! And you have every right to freak about the ‘c-word,’ no matter how small.

    I have tried so hard to get my dog to duplicate Chuck’s ice-cream-carton-on-the-head trick, but instead he does the SAME THING as Chuck does here…scooting that carton all over the house.

    Thanks for the Chuckiliciousness, and as you can tell, I’m a hyphen and ellipses abuser.