• Wash St. Dad

    To me it’s funny, for both to work requires sex…

  • http://scarletlily.blogspot.com/ Sarah

    How funny that you posted about this today b/c as soon as I saw the video I wrote my own blog post about it. Thanks!

  • http://itsajanslife.blogspot.com janny226

    Based on the two personalities I have experience with, I’ve found marriage to be much harder– particularly once we become parents.

  • Kitty Jimjams

    I love being married (5 years and counting, after 10 years together overall).

    And after 6 months I still hate being a parent. He’s a very sweet, lovely little boy, but every morning I wake up sorry I did this.

    I have lots of drugs, an understanding therapist, and a wonderfully supportive family. I’ve been re-reading your old entries, too, and I want to thank you again for helping me to believe I’ll get out of this hole at some point.

  • http://themommylogues.blogspot.com/ Sarah at themommylogues

    I feel like my husband and I have been blessed with a fairly conflict-free marriage. Not to say we don’t have problems, but we’re pretty committed to working things out, and neither of us ever seems to really dig our heals in.

    Parenting. Nothing has been more heart wrenching. It is hard. It is exhausting. It is thankless. I love my children like crazy, and wouldn’t want to see life without them. But they know how to push my buttons. And anytime I have to see them in pain rips me apart. But they always bring me back with some sort of “I want you to be my mommy forever…” Children are just intense.

  • http://bcuzimpretty.livejournal.com/ Bcuzimpretty

    I don’t think anyone can say (at least not with 100% certainty) that one is harder than the other. Marriage and motherhood are both, in turns, easy and difficult.

    I am neither married nor a mother but I have many married friends (most of whom also have children). I have heard their complaints and their praises, sympathized with their struggles and basked in their joys, and I have come to the conclusion that marriage and motherhood are both strenuous and uplifting at the same time.

    [The ease or difficulty of either of these is also contingent on a person's ability to handle stress and pressure.]

  • http://whatsupdelilah.blogspot.com/ Lise

    Parenthood is harder, just by the virtue that a husband can understand if you’re stressed out, tired, upset, or hurting, and can help you, or at least cut you some slack. Babies on the other hand are the ultimate taskmasters. My 3 month old does not care that i have been up working late so that we have money to buy her diapers when wakes up at 4am and screams until i wake up and feed her, then refuses to go back to sleep until it’s time for us to go to work again. It’s good thing they’re cute, or you’d kill em’

  • http://www.stephaniekscott.blogspot.com Stephanie

    So I have an 18-month old, and have been married for only 4.5 years.

    From my limited experience and my watching of people who have been married for 25+ years who now have grown kids, my assessment is that the first 10 years of marriage is harder than the first 10 years of parenthood, (for most people, not all, obviously)
    but then marriage is easier because you’re in the groove with each other, but your kids are now teenagers and so they are tougher to deal with.

    That’s at least our experience.

    Being the parent to a toddler is obviously frustrating and mind-boggling at times, but I think I have more patience with her than I do her father.

    He and I were together for 3 years before we got married, so we thought we were “prepared.” HA! Marriage is a completely different animal.

    Throw learning to be parents into that mix, starting careers etc., and you have the perfect mix for, as Alice said, forgetting to tend to your marriage.

    We agree that we have no “out,” and are committed to sticking it out regardless.

    Making that happen on a day to day basic can sometimes be really tough, however.

  • Leslie

    I agree with you 100% about motherhood being harder than marriage. I distinctly remember the first day of my twins’ lives that I made it through the day without crying. I’m pretty sure I didn’t cry every day for the first six weeks of our marriage.

  • unrestricted

    Marriage almost killed me, but that’s because it turns out I prefer women instead of men…I still don’t think I want to live full time with anyone again. Parenthood drained me, but I recovered when they got older.

  • http://toknowavail.wordpress.com Vail

    This is an interesting conversation indeed… Although, my sexuality is not really a factor, I feel compelled to mention that I’m gay. And I’m a recent single parent to two amazing children that were brought into this world during the period of my domestic partnership.

    “Marriage” wasn’t difficult prior to having children. There was plenty of time in the day to nurture the “marriage,” and I found that I could pretty much make that relationship (and any other relationship for that matter) last a lifetime given enough MUTUAL interest in one another. We just happened to lose interest in each other… it’s a universal problem in any family dynamic – gay or straight.

    By far, parenthood has been the most challenging and demanding task I’ve encountered in my life. The gravity of the responsibility I feel towards these little human beings is considerably more significant than the responsibility I ever felt towards my “marriage.” For me, marriage requires two people to tango, parenthood is in many ways a “solo” journey… forming relationship bonds between you and your child is very independent of the bond being built by your child and the other parent.

    Sure, marriage is challenging stuff (obviously coming from someone who’s experienced divorce) but it’s also not rocket science… I know where I messed up and I know how to do it better. You get what you put in and more times than not, when it doesn’t work out, you’ve got another adult to blame. With kids, you shoulder the brunt of all the good and the bad that comes out in the end. Talk about a serious job… hands down… the hardest job I’ve ever had and I feel like I’ll always be on the learning curve.

  • cat

    PS
    Heather, being a mom of Leta is MORE CHALLENGING than most parents have to deal with. She is way smart, charming and very sassy. She is her own person and is never in doubt that her final assessment is absolutely correct. Sometimes I wonder whether she actually “needs” parents. (of course she does but I get the sneaking feeling she doesn’t think so)

    Jon, on the other hand, seems like a very good, funny and loving husband (no, they aren’t all that way). Appropriately quirky, inappropriately lusty in adequate proportions, tolerant and flexible. Plus smart. Naturally, real live and in person is not the same, but his is a palate that doesn’t challenge the way Leta seems to.

    One positive (among many) she will be your really great friend when she grows up. Of that I have no doubt.

  • http://annchihakpoff.blogspot.com Ann

    I am a wife and not a mom. I don’t plan on being a mom for various reasons.
    But my vote is being a wife is easier than being a mom.
    I am amazed at family and friends who are moms and the hard work it entails. I just get tired watching.
    My husband and I are friends, we enjoy each other’s company, but we also enjoy our alone time. I think we understand each other pretty well. People have told us that we make marriage look easy.

  • http://www.lilja.no Stellare

    Biology helps you raise your kid. Therefore also easier than any other relationship.

  • http://bcuzimpretty.livejournal.com/ Bcuzimpretty

    **it wouldn’t let me post this before so I apologize if it appears twice**

    I don’t think anyone can say (at least not with 100% certainty) that one is harder than the other. Marriage and motherhood are both, in turns, easy and difficult.

    I am neither married nor a mother but I have many married friends (most of whom also have children). I have heard their complaints and their praises, sympathized with their struggles and basked in their joys, and I have come to the conclusion that marriage and motherhood are both strenuous and uplifting at the same time.

    [The ease or difficulty of either of these is also contingent on a person's ability to handle stress and pressure.]

  • Stella

    It seems to me (childless but married five years) that children would be easier in at least one sense: You can tell a child what to do, and if they don’t do it, you can punish them. I sometimes wish I were the boss of my husband. I’d like to take away his television-watching privileges the next time he forgets to pick up his mess.

  • Erica Hennings

    All the things were the EXACT OPPOSITE for me.
    I was always around babies and young children. I am the product of divorced parents. I went to daycare. Since I was an only child, daycare is where I got to play with other people. I found it easier to get along with those so much younger than me because they didn’t judge.
    Also as an only child, I never really learned to share or compromise. THIS was the reason why I have a failed marriage in my past. It sucked, I didn’t want to WORK on it. I do have a child from that relationship and she is the best thing I’ve ever done. As I learned what it was like to care FOR someone, I learned what it was like to care WITH someone. I learned how to love by having my daughter. My “new” husband (we’ve been together for 7 years) and I work DAILY on our marriage. We don’t brush stuff under the carpet or sweep feelings aside. We say EXACTLY what is on our minds, right then, right there. This isn’t always the best because it can be fueled with anger, but it works for US.

    *This is probably the MOST open I’ve ever been in a public forum (where you put stuff IN WRITING to come back and bite you in the butt) But, I feel like there may be others out there who need to hear this.

  • phylly3

    Wow. Having rode all the storms out I can say that at different times of life I would have had a different response. Early marriage easy peasy. Most differences can be solved by sex, usually. Then the kiddos and early on both parents are just madly in love with the babies. This is by design, so that you don’t abandon them at a fire station. Then you reach the point where every day is just fulfilling all the schedules, ballgames, school events, etc.This period lasts for years and you don’t have time to examine whether you are happy or not. Then the teen years happen and if you are lucky, like I was, the marriage is rock solid because if not, it can and will be fractured. Finally the kids are grown and move off and I grieved for awhile, but then it was like we were at the beginning, only fatter and with wrinkles. We were glad to see them for a weekend but ready for them to go home. Then the grand kids started showing up and we were like we were with our babies, but on steroids. Three years ago after 36 years of marriage my dear husband passed away after a 17 month illness. I would have been inconsolable if not for our children and grandchildren. I guess the point of my long response is that love covers up a multiple of near sins.

  • Lyla

    Being neither a parent nor a spouse, I am probably not terribly qualified to answer this. HOWEVER… I’ve lived with my boyfriend for over 2 years and we pretty much consider ourselves married without the paperwork and his family considers me family. I can deal with him when he’s whining or yelling, but when the children at the coffee shop start screeching… I want to strangle them. There are times when I think it would be cool to have a little boy to read books to, but then I remember that when that same little boy screamed his bloody head off I couldn’t put duct tape over his mouth.

    Also, I saw how hard it was for my dad to raise 3 of us. He is an amazing father and we were all exceptionally lucky to be his kids. However, when he wonders why none of us want children, I can’t help but think he’s nuts.

    Cohabitating with and adult is difficult some days. I cannot even imagine raising a child.

  • Lisa

    Being a parent … for me … has really come very naturally and easily. My boys are now 15 and 13 and I still pretty much know exactly what to do. It’s not always easy…but I know what “it” is. Since I am now divorced…marriage…not so much. I made a lot more mistakes in that deparment!

  • CJ

    This is a great question, and what a great thing to contemplate. I knew my spouse for 8 years before we had twins. My husband has been my absolute best friend during that period of time, and for me, this is it. There’s no dissolution; this is the long haul. I believe you referred to it as a hellish prison. Indeed.

    The twins were brutal the first year. It took five months for them to sleep four hours in a row. I looked like an absolute wreak at all times. However, all things considered, motherhood — up until now — has been easier, although I have no idea why.

  • Jamie

    I think I’m scared to have kids! I need to stop reading so many mom blogs.

  • Somer

    I think this is a subject that’s hard to even think about. For me, the marriage part is harder. My parents split up when I was about 10 as well and I grew up with the mentality that all men are BASTARDS..because that’s what my mom said. So when I got with my husband, I got a gentle and kind and passive man. We were together for almost six years when we had our son. Motherhood is hard and trying and in the short-term so unrewarding..but my husband made things very difficult when my son came along. My husband spent six years being the center of my universe, and when my son was born he had to play second fiddle and he had a real problem with that. He started acting out and making things difficult for me. By the time my son was 6 months old, I was done and ready to talk to a lawyer, but we sat down and talked for about two weeks and worked some stuff out. I married someone that would be a good parent to my children and someone I wanted to be with for the entirety of my life and I still intend to make this work with all the stubbornness I can muster. I am of the same mindset as finslippy in that it was much easier to go into motherhood mode. But that’s just me.

  • MimiX

    My marriage was not particularly hard until parenthood happened.

    Marriage has now become 10 times harder, and unlike parenting, it does not come naturally. Parenthood is hard, grueling even, but it comes naturally (especially with a glass of wine in hand, I find).

    So they’re both hard, but I would say parenting is easier for me because it’s instinctive so much of the time. Me Mama Bear, you Cub.

    Both are ridiculously rewarding and worth all the trouble.

  • Sylvia

    Speaking from the 60′s, marriage was fun, sort of an extension of dating but with sex and budgeting, and not hard at all. Until we became parents. At which time one of us (me, the mother) became an adult and the other chose to remain a baby himself. When it actually hit me (about three days after I brought my son home from the hospital) that I could never again make a single move, or decision, or even have a thought, without including that tiny human being in the process, I felt so overwhelmeed and depressed that I thought I couldn’t face the next 18 years. So I went and bought Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care, and he explained everything. It was an owner’s manual for the baby. After that, parenting was as simple as reading the directions. Marriage, on the other hand, got harder and harder and finally became impossible to keep doing. I guess I was lucky to have a child that was willing to be raised by the book. My ex-husband was not so reasonable!

  • lillo

    Marriage has been harder for me, but I think it may be a combo of how I came to be married and my particular set of coping mechanisms (denial, sweet sweet denial).

    I can identify with not having the instincts kick in. I hated being pregnant and couldn’t wait for it to be over. I don’t like babies. As another poster said, I expected to really suck at being a mother (my example was pretty awful). What I remember most about the first year or so was just being numb. Everything I did was out of obligation. But, bit by bit, as I managed to keep him alive and then see him flourish – I realized I kinda knew what I was doing. And now at 12, I truly enjoy the person he’s become and I have great deal more confidence in my abilities to figure this thing out. Of course, you may want to check back in with me in 5 years after we have a teenager.

    I was not in a committed relationship with my son’s father (now my husband) when I got knocked up. While he was at the time – and remains – my best friend, we chose to be parents before we chose to be married. Our commitment to our kid has been unwavering, while our commitment to each other was something we had to grow into.

  • Anonymous

    phylly3 – thank you for posting. Really poignant comment with a lot of perspective.

  • Meg

    I am not a parent, so I cannot comment on what is easier. However I think as a society we put a lot of pressure on moms (or parents in general, but moms more often) to feel a certain way after having a baby (and also about being a parent), as if there is only one way to feel. Women often feel guilty when they do not think they are feeling the “correct” way. That is why I really appreciate how open you are about sharing your experiences. I think that it takes a lot of strength for individuals to truly be themselves and I know that you sometimes get flack for it. Keep it up. Silence equals psychological death.

  • http://myfeetareafraid.blogspot.com/ Ana

    I have been married for a year and a half. We’d been together that long before we got married. My husband came with a child so I became a wife and a parent at the same time. I have tried to be everything a stepmom should be and not all the things they are hated and stereotyped because of. I have a really loving and wonderful relationship with my stepdaughter and I really enjoy her as a child. I find being a parent comes very naturally for me. Although I only have to be an acting parent 50% of the time. (And I have to admit that sometimes I look forward to the drop-off and the two day respite — but we miss her 2 minutes later!)

    My marriage has been a struggle and so difficult it is hard to fathom how we’re still in love and still trying to make it work. Our marriage has had to survive an insane ex-wife, my father’s two transplants, moving, money problems, employment issues, depression… compared to learning how to care for a child these “grown up” issues are so much harder. I think that in the age of divorce it is easy to look at marriage as temporary. My parents have been married for 40 years and my grandparents for 63 years; I aspire to be married for as long!

    And to the commenter that said that people don’t divorce their kids: foster care? child abuse? absent fathers? abandonment?

  • http://freewomensfitness.com women’s fitness

    Parenthood. That is a human baby you have to look after!

  • Karrie

    I haven’t been a parent for very long, so my answer might be a little skewed. My kid is 1 1/2 and I have another one coming in 3 weeks or so (yes… YIKES!). My answer is DEFINITELY that marriage is harder in the long run. Don’t get me wrong, this past year 1/2 has been the hardest time in my LIFE! I’ve always been very career driven and very independent and VERY selfish – I do what I want when I want blah blah blah. And that kind of mindset wasn’t even very hard to have in my marriage before our little guy came along. And then he came, and my personal and selfish desires were thrown in the backseat because I CHOSE to stay home with my son rather than continue to pursue my career (for the time being). This has sucked. HOWEVER… marriage is harder, absolutely, because it has to see itself through so much more in life than being a parent does. Meaning… divorce is not an option, my husband will be my husband forever because that is my choice and his – but to make that a possibility it means giving of myself FOR-EV-ER. I’ve been with my husband for 12 years. Its hard. Sometimes (alot of times) he completely sucks at life and I just want to get out and hang on to things in life that make me happier… and I’ll bet he has had more frustration with selfish me than I have had with him! But everytime we have worked through those humps (there’s been alot… and there will be way more, I’m sure) our marriage gets more and more incredible. Seriously. I grow as a person individually through those challenges, and I always end up loving my husband more because of them.

  • Kaffeine

    I’m laughing at the “I don’t have kids and I’m not married, BUT” people.

    Marriage is way, way, way easier than parenthood. My son is 14 and I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing most of the time. I don’t relate to or understand kids – I expect them to be logical and screaming is not logical.

  • Z

    I probably can’t make a determination either way, but I just wanted to say that this post was very helpful to me, and I’d like to thank you for that.

    I’m living with my boyfriend; it’s basically like a marriage. Right now things just seem so hard. I know to a certain extent that you have to work at it, and it is difficult, but often I ask myself… how difficult is it SUPPOSED to be? Are our fights much worse than other couples? Etc. I recently started seeing a psychiatrist for depression and she started me on anti-depressants… I think it’s funny that so much of my therapy time is me talking about my relationship and trying to determine if it is really a healthy one. My parents have been happily married 25+ years and fight rarely. And sometimes from your blog it just sounds like you and Jon get along so well, all the time. I think that’s just a function of you not talking about most of you guys’ problems.

    Anyway, it helps me to know that even a couple that seems as happy as you and Jon have problems, fights, and go to therapy together. It makes me feel not so alone during these times of struggle.

  • Nancy

    Parenthood is much harder – although both are hard. Remember, you choose your spouse so, presumably, you at least start out with a partner who fills some of your needs/desires. Parenthood is a total luck-of-the-draw and some kids are MUCH harder to parent. Like Leta, my daughter entered the world with “issues” and still at 20 is at war with the world. And we are very close, so whatever her current challenges with the outside world, she brings them to me first. Gotta love that kid!

  • http://www.zakaryw.blogspot.com ZDub

    Most days I think I suck at both equally.

  • Anonymous

    With the right partner, I’d say marriage is easier. Much easier than dealing with a teenager.

    I’d say dealing with a teenager would be easier though, with the right partner.

    xoxo,

  • Anonymous

    All I know is that I can’t watch those momversation videos because I want to punch the girl from Girlsgonewild in the face. Sorry.

  • http://www.colourfulwords.blogspot.com/ Natalie Green

    My friend has a saying- Kids: Ruin a great relationship. Keep a bad one together.

    For me – definitely motherhood is harder. I was a successful,independent woman. I had lived in foreign countries, travelled the world – often by myself, had fantastic career – AND I’d been around babies a lot my whole life.

    That crying little baby sure knocked me flat though. I would say first time parenthood is like a smack in the face.

    It also put extra strain and drudgery on my relationship with my then boyfriend now husband. But, overall we had a good foundation so four and a half years later we are going stronger than ever. (Although we do still irritate each other regularly)

    I also had my second baby 15 months ago and while it definitely kicked the chaos up a gear, it was nothing compared to the first time. In some moments of insanity I wonder if I should have a 3rd because this time was so much easier (even though she is clearly more spirited than her big brother).

    But then I think “NO!” Let’s raise these kids and get them out so we can just hang out together again. xox

  • Maria

    They are both hard. And Easy. It depends on what is going on at the time. Some days during our marriage border on insanity, while others are easy and wonderful. Parenting is the same, sometimes I want to rip out my hair, but mostly I love love love it. For me there isn’t one that is harder than the other, it is more about what we are dealing with and who needs what at the time. They are both really interesting and uppy downy…I am realizing now that some of the worst situations (death of my father in law) help us move closer instead of away from each other. I think parenting and marriage change so much that it is tough to say which is easier.

  • Vanessa

    For me being a parent was easier but I had years of babysitting small children and babies under my belt. I agree with Kalisa though my son is now 16 almost 17 and wow anything I thought I knew went out the window.

  • http://www.celebratingwomen.wordpress.com sheri

    Parenthood is the HARDEST job I’ve ever had; the most challenging task I’ve ever tried to conquer, the most….argh!

    Jumping into a pool without knowing how to swim! That sums it up exactly. And you know what? I’m still jumping. My oldest is about to turn 20, the middle 18, and the youngest 15. OMG! With the first one I went like this, and he went like that and we went on. The 2nd didn’t like it that way so I had to do that then this and she did this & this & this; the baby? Just when I thought he wanted it like this and that then this so that he would do that then this, he’d change! Hmmm, sounds like my sex life!

    That being said, I think the hardest thing about parenting is your responsibility to raise a responsible adult that will contribute to society. Your job is NEVER done!

    Do you know what’s even harder than dealing with an infant that you have know clue what to do with? Dealing with a 20 year old that wants to be a grown up but still be a kid! Talk about jumping into a pool! In fact, I use the analogy of having to throw him into the pool and hope he remembers how to swim! He’s reluctantly testing the water.

  • http://www.tamarisktree.wordpress.com kim

    Marriage. Hands down. I expect way more out of the adult sharing this roof than the munchkin running around. I hate repeating myself to the same face and never seeing recognition of what I’m actually saying when the face requires a razor. I realize that I’m no picnic and that we both give each other a considerable amount of fodder for therapy.

    There’s something about the idea of living with the same person for the rest of my life that makes my skin itch when I get into a particular mindset. I’ll always be tied to my children, but I’m training them to become healthy, reasonable, responsible adults, which technically requires them to leave our four walls. There’s a very clear cut goal toward which I am working. With him, I don’t know that there is a tangible goal. It’s all stuff like “be happy” or “put dishes IN the dishwasher”, nothing lofty but also not much to sink my teeth into. Maybe that’s why I can be so difficult (that and the gestating thing with which I’m currently involved…nothing like making lungs and eye balls to make you cranky).

  • Penny Rene

    Not that you will have time to read all these but…

    I’ve just had my 2nd child. My daughter is almost 3, going on 13 and my son is now 4 months old. I’ve been married for 3 years. (No math involved here) This is my THIRD marriage.

    So, you’d think I might say that marriage is harder. But I have a lot experience with marriage so I like to think I’m finally getting it right. For me, parenting is WAY more of a challenge. I checked every ounce of intelligence I claimed to have at the door when I had my daughter. I am now doing it again with my son because he’s a whole new ball game. Not to mention the impossible task of being a great mom to BOTH kids AT THE SAME TIME. That I am not typing this from an olive green arm chair at a nearby mental hospital is in thanks to my in-laws, my husband and my new friend Prozac.
    I love marriage and I’m glad I opted to be a mom, but wow. Nothing good ever comes easy, right? Don’t answer that, pervert.

  • http://joeandbetsy.com Betsy in Pittsburgh

    I’m not married, but I’ve been with my guy for over 6 years, and lived with him for over 2. We don’t have kids, but we have 2 cats, one of which we raised from babyhood (and he was/is a terror!).

    I’m only 23 and he’s 21 (high school love), and I guess I’m lucky because it has been incredibly easy, and I can’t wait to have kids (marriage first, though). I’m not scared at all because we’re a great team… maybe I’m just young and naive, but everything’s been pretty rosy thus far. It has been interesting to read what you all have to say though. So many perspectives!

  • Weirdo Mom

    I think motherhood is WAY more difficult. I value my privacy, and having my own space.

    I am always worrying about screwing up my children because I’d rather play on the computer, read, clean, do laundry, ANYTHING rather than constantly interact with them.

    I put off motherhood for as long as I could, because it terrified me to think I would have people depending on me for the REST OF MY LIFE.

    My husband is reasonable. My children are not. My husband is generous and kind to me. He does chores. My children expect me to be their servant and are sloppy, clingy, whiny, snotty and poopy little messmakers who yell at me. And that’s on a good day.

    Some days I’m convinced I’m just not meant to be a mother. Some days I enjoy their company and budding personalities immensely.

    Motherhood does not come natural to me. But I’ve been in enough relationships and have been married long enough to know what works. So yes, to answer your question again, motherhood is infinitely harder.

  • http://slowmotionrace.com Penny Rene

    PS – Today is Elvis’ birthday. I felt compelled to say that.

  • http://fiercebeagle.blogspot.com Erin

    I’m with you Heather. I think marriage (though not EASY per se) has been easier ON ME than parenthood. I went through postpartum depression, on top of some serious medical issues caused by pregnancy, and that really set the tone for how I felt about parenthood for those first few months. And how I felt can be summed up in one word: overwhelmed. I knew how I wanted to feel, how I thought I was supposed to feel, but I also knew how I DID feel. And none of it was adding up.

    Now that I’ve settled down and settled in (and jumped on the psychiatric drugs bandwagon), the gap between the kind of mother I want to be and the kind of mother I am is steadily closing.

    Best of luck on your second go-round. I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds.

  • http://www.freewebs.com/5belle belle

    I so rarely comment on blogs, but in this case I am in so much agreement with you that I couldn’t resist! I got to choose who I married and did a darn good job at filling the role, but I did not get to choose who I gave birth to. Please do not misunderstand, I totally love all three of my boys, it’s kinda like having my heart walk around outside my body, but I did not get to choose who they are or their personalities. I could tell you the upside and downside of all three, but the one that I can most relate to you is #2 who had colic for the first 10, thats right 10 months of his life. Now #1 is fully into his teen years and let me tell you, nothing, N-O-T-H-I-N-G could have prepared me for this! Yes, in my case parenting is WAY harder than marriage.

  • Bria

    I am a mere newlywed…with my first child still in utero (I would love to talk pregnacy with you, by the way) but since I’ve married a man who is my best friend and makes marriage easy I think that perhaps parenthood will be harder. I’ll keep you posted…

  • Ames

    For me being a wife is SO MUCH harder than being a parent, but I can easily see and understand both sides of this argument.