Jon: Do you know how badly I’d love to buy your stepfather’s motorcycle?
Me: No. Never. Not gonna happen. NUH. UH.
Jon: But I’d just use it for fun—
Me: Jon, you know I love you, right?
Jon: Of course.
Me: That’s first on the list. Second, you’re my soul mate.
Jon: What has this got to do with—
Me: Third, you’re the father of my children.
Jon: Heather, what—
Me: Fourth, and although this is all the way down here on the list, it’s still an incredibly important fourth: I can’t run this business without you.
Jon: I appreciate—
Me: You die on a motorcycle, and I’m gonna have to wait tables.
